Happy Christmas, World

I haven't said much about this topic lately, but, I think I will now. 
I haven't been shy in telling people that I have a birth father. He was not a part of my life, I mean, he was to a small degree, and I always wanted a relationship with him. 
Growing up was hard without my dad. I mean, I did have father figures in my life, but I always wanted a dad. My own dad married my mom when I was 10, and they had 3 more children together. My dad was kind to me, and he has become more and more cynical the older he has been getting. It's been hard. I never knew why my daddy (my birth father) wasn't around me. It was really painful. 

About three year ago when I went off Facebook (or was that two years ago) I started writing texts to my brother my birth father's son, so my brother. Just back and forth, hey, how's it going... That kind of stuff. Thanksgiving of 2017 my daddy called me! I knew immediately it was him! I was so happy! we talked for an hour and we started from that time on, to talking, texting, etc. I have been loving it. I have never spent a holiday with him. It's been a year and a month that we have been talking on a regular basis. about three weeks ago I was invited to go to my daddy's house to spend the Holiday season with him, his wife, my brother and sister! I will be going to his home tomorrow, and I will be returning in a week! I am really super excited about it. I have decided to let go the asking why I have not been able to see him for years, and I have not asked him why my childhood was spent without him. Will those answers really settle with me? I don't think that they will. But, there here and now, and not living in the past, being able to connect with him and learn about his life and family and culture, will help me find out who I am. Not knowing him is like not knowing who I am. I am really blessed that I am able to have this opportunity. My daddy and I can have a relationship now. We can do catch up and I can learn more about my Czech side of my family. I am really excited. REALLY excited. I feel that winter time is a time of rebirth, renewal, and I feel that this is the perfect time for renewing my relationship with my daddy. It is a beautiful thing. I know that it takes a lot of growth to forgive and let go, and move on and move forward.  I hope that anyone reading this has an opportunity to renew relationships and show love and kindness to the people around them. It is a good thing. We want light, love, and good things in our lives. 

Love and Hugs  to all those reading this! I will write more when I am in my (wont say where) daddy's house, enjoying the amazing time with my paternal family! 

AND: I Am Reviewing The PS4 TODAY!

Hello, readers! 

I wanted to talk about my new toy. I am really excited to have purchased my new PlayStation 4. It is making me excited to get the PlayStation Pro, when my husband comes so we can play together. 

Let me say, I am not a professional at all, and the point to saying this is I am not getting paid to say this, so, I am just saying my opinion about this product. 
Well, as usual, it was very easy to set up. I am currently playing The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. I love the graphics for this consul. I love PS4. I wish that I would have waited for the price of the Pro to go down, but, to my defense, I just couldn't wait to get the PS4. (hehehe) I love the PS4, and, upon playing around with it, I found how beautifully it captures the graphics of games. I really wish that there is a gaming consul that would be able to allow PS4 and PS3 games in one consul. Other than that, I am really impressed and I love my PS4. I have had it for a few months, now, and I am able to watch all my movies as well as streaming my tv series I like to watch. The quality is crystal clear I am really happy with it, and I think I got a great deal. I want to do more things with it, and I think that I am not using it to the full potential it has, and so I will be playing around with it, as far as filming and editing. I do need a new laptop, because my El Gato will not  
accept my laptop, as it says that I dont have the technology for my El Gato... So, I will have to see about that. 
In conclusion, i love my PS4, i think it is worth the money you pay for, the games are great, and the graphics are gorgeous. I see why people buy the XBox, but, I do prefer the PS4 over the XBox. 

Happy Gaming!!

White Washing in Hollywood

Let's talk. 

I mean serious stuff. Something has been deeply on my mind. I must get it out. 

First, let's talk about what whitewashing is. Many people do it and don't even realise it. 

It seems like throughout history it is been socially acceptable. People think this is a black- white issue. in fact, it is not. This is a cultural issue. 

There is a series of movies that Disney has decided to re-do. You know, the Disney Animated movies? They have decided to re-do Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, and Mulan is being re-done in an all Chinese cast. Wow, great. Let's not offend the Chinese. This is good, however, Aladdin,very loosely based on 1,001 Nights, which is a tale coming from the Persian Empire and one of the oldest tales, which has Central Asian and Persian influenced backgrounds, has been casted by Guy Richie, who is a big screen and likes the "Go big or go home" action type movies, has casted Will Smith as "The Genie" And Jafar is casted by some White English Dude. Jasmine is casted as an English Born ethnic person with absolutely NO Indian, Persian, Non Central Asian background. 

If I were to revamp this movie, I would use 

Jasmine: Nazanin Boniani

I would have a list of other actors and characters for you. But, This isn't about just Disney whitewashing Every damn movie they do (Yeah, yeah, Walt Disney was a racist, we get it, but really, come on, Disney Studios shouldn't be anymore) 

There are other movies that has done the same. 

Johnny Depp as a Native American in "The Lone Ranger"

Emma Stone as a Hawaiian in "Aloha" We shouldn't expect less from Adam Sandlers though. He made the Polynesians look bad in "50 First Dates"   

In "Argo" Ben Affleck as Tony Mendez, who is half- Mexican. Tony Mendez said that he doesn't consider himself Mexican.

Batman: Liam Neeson as Ra's al Ghul, in the comics he is depicted as an Arab

Breakfast at Tiffany's, Mickey Rooney plays an Asian man

Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, a Persian is played by Jake Gyllenhaal, a white actor

Short Circuit had an Indian main character played by Fisher Stevens, a white actor

Star Trek: Into Darkness has a villain named Khan Noon Singh (Indian or Pakistani, right?) played by Benedict Cumberbatch, and in the T.V. series the same villain was played by Ricardo Montalban, of European- Mexican descent. 

What is more shocking is that the movie, "The Social Network", which is supposed to be based on Divya Narendra, of Indian descent, co-founder of ConnectU, was played by Max Minghella, and to make matters worse, there are more and more people who refuse to look into the Indian Community of actors. The director of The Social Network said he looked "All over", naming London, Montreal, and Paris, and could not find anyone with his "Warren Beatty" suave- personality and good looks. REALLY? Hrithik Roshan,Dev Patel, Ameet Chana, Kunal Nyyar, Jay Sean, Upen Patel, Imran Khan, Adam Beach, Aziz Ansari, Kal Penn, Aasif Mandvi... Just off the top of my head... I am sure there's a few hundred more I don't know... 

I think you all get the point. 

Going back to Aladdin, produced by Guy Richie. Will he not slaughter the movie like Disney already did in the animated series? 

I am not holding my breath on that one because I cringed at Aladdin and felt guilty when I bought the video for my kids, knowing it was not culturally acceptable and completely missed the point in the entire movie as far as the stereotypes, and while the actual story line was nice, they couldn't make it at all culturally acceptable.

Why does Hollywood do this? 

Don't get me wrong. I will post about the misconceptions Bollywood has about Americans. But, we get our ideas from the media, right? Humans must beware! 

Federal Law

I don't know if people understand, that, when you enter into ANY country illegally, you are breaking a FEDERAL LAW. 
If I were to over stay a visa in ANY country, or sneak into ANY country, you bet I am breaking their laws. Doesn't anyone get that? These Federal Laws weren't just written on January 20th 2017. These laws have been in place for DECADES. 
There is welcoming, there also MUST be law and order to keep the balance of peace and keep ANY country safe. 
I am so tired and BORED of hearing about how, as a citizen of my country, I have to watch as, along the borders Especially in Arizona, Texas and New Mexico, as well as California, many hospitals closed down. In Time Magazine in I think 1999, they wrote an article about it. At this time I was in New Mexico. I was in there for my child #4, who had to get stitches. As we were in the E.R. and whilst his stitches were being sewn, a man, who illegally came into the U.S., brought a gun into the E.R. and started firing away at another Illegal Alien who also snuck into the border, to get health treatment. (for being shot at by the guy who came into the ER to finish him off, but ended up killing people in the ER!) This article tried to say that the Babies were no longer being delivered at those border hospitals because of insurance. Well, that is a part truth, to a full blown outright lie. Let me tell you the real truth. They had to close, yes, because of lack of funding from insurance. But it is because illegal aliens come into the country, have a baby and, have no money to pay for it, leaving those states to have to pay for them, and, because they have babies there, they lie and say they are staying for just a few days, have their baby, and never go back to their country, because according to our country, if you have a child here, your baby is a U.S.Citizen. Well, I say, upon entering in the U.S.A, if you are not a U.S. Citizen and have a baby here, your baby should not be a U.S.Citizen. This is the only country that does this, and it needs to stop. 
The other thing is, when I visited Mexico, I got sick. I had to pay the Dr, and pay the prescriptions. Why? Because I am not a Mexican National. Why do I have to pay for Illegals to come here, and get sick and I have to pay them? Why, if when I get sick I can't go to those countries and get health care from their country of birth and make them pay? Because that is asinine! When I was in Turkey, I was again, sick. I paid for it. I paid for the Dr and I bought my own prescriptions. Why? Because when you are in another country, and you are not a citizen of that country, you don't make the citizens pay! It is just common sense. I don't go visit a country and demand that they pay for my life. In fact, when I lived in Turkey, I had to show that not only was I invited, but that I was not going to be a charge to their government. It is really that simple, and it is the law. There are laws all over the world that protect their citizens of those countries. For people to complain and get all angry at U.S.A. for holding back and being more strict. It's not that we have been strict, it is that this President is finally enforcing the laws and giving the Border Patrol more power to do their job, which they took an oath to PROTECT AND DEFEND OUR BORDERS in War or Peace. (Should this be a shock to anyone?) 
Is everyone angry because they just can't come into U.S.A.? Have you tried to just walk into Switzerland without a visa? Have you gone to England and DEMAND they allow you in the country? Please do that. I want to see your face when they detain you and make you pay for your flight back to where you come from! 
Stop getting on American's backs for the chaos that we are trying to take care of because of Illegals trying to stay here on a free ride! (And it is breaking a federal law! )
If I have to suffer four years of not seeing my husband to do it the right way, then why should I have pity on you, who come in illegally and make havoc and I have to pay for your garbage? Do it the legal way!!

The Freedom of Religion In U.S.A.

For over 200 years, we Americans hold dear to our Freedoms. Our Constitution of the U.S.A. is proof that we wanted to be free from Britain's Rule. The First Amendment states this, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, or abridging the freedom of speech, or the press, or the right to peaceably assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances." This states clearly that Americans have the right to practice what they want as far as religion is concerned. Is anyone worried about this part of the Constitution being violated? (We Americans don't realize we weren't free from the King of England until 1783, but the Declaration of Independence was adopted by the Second Continental Congress on July 4th 1776, and this is why we Celebrate the 4th of July on that day, although we were fighting the Revolutionary War, and didn't win it until 1783...Just Sayin'. Sorry, I had to add this.)
A couple months ago I wrote on my blog about how most of the writers of the Constitution of the United States of America weren't even religious at all. In fact, many of them left their respective churches after the Revolutionary War, and there were only a couple who were christians. The rest claimed no religion and a few of them stopped going to church at all. So, why the hostilities towards Muslims in particular, now? I have to say, I am very grieved indeed, towards the hostile environment that Americans have caused towards a group of people. Just three days ago another Sikh was killed. My readers, I can not stress this enough... SIKHS ARE NOT MUSLIM!!!! Why is it the Americans that should be reading my blogs aren't and the people who read my blogs are the ones who already know this... (My largest readers are from India, Central Asia, Turkey and the Middle East... Then France, Iceland, England and Last... U.S.A. I have more readers from China and Korea than  I do from U.S.A.) Siiiiigh... (Long exhale, for those who have to translate this) I have repeatedly said, and hoped, that people would be enlightened these days, but, sadly, they are not. How can we bring people to better knowledge these days? 
I have been taught all my life in what us Mormon's call, the 13 Articles of Faith. They are the 13 statements that us Mormons believes. Number 11 states, "We claim the privilege of worshipping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where or what they may"... I was raised that The Jewish people, the Muslims and Christians all believe in the same God. They All worship the same God, just they believe differenly about God, and Jesus. In all honesty, while I was in High School, I lived in a city of 70,000 people. We teenagers didn't do much or have a fun hangout, so, I would go to Mosque in Salt Lake City, I have been known to go to Synagogue, I have also helped sell food and flowers for the Hare Krishna temple which is one of the biggest in the Western States, and it is quite beautiful. I love going there, period. Then, there is a Catholic church I used to go to mass, and I have been to the Episcopal Church, as well as I went to a Lutheran church, and I have spent most of my life (37 years,) understanding, learning and reading about other religions all over the world. I doo this because I want to learn and respect other people's beliefs. This is important to me because my ancestors were kicked out of North Eastern U.S.A. in the 1800's and forced out of Illinois, along with hundreds of thousands of other people in the mid 1800's. Did you know in Illinois it was not against the law to kill a Mormon until 2006? True. So, I am passionate about people allowing others to be whatever religion they want. Or, Not want. I have brothers and sisters who are not Mormon, I have brothers and sisters who are. I have a sister who doesn't even believe there is a God. And I have a brother who doesn't know what he believes. I have children who are Muslim, And a daughter who doesn't believe any church, and a son who is Mormon... Does it matter? If the person is good and kind and loving, who cares what they believe in God? 
So, now is the legal question... Muslim "Ban"? How is this legal? On any level in  U.S. Law, doesn't anyone foresee a huge lawsuit waiting to happen? Can't anyone smell it coming? This isn't even an issue. The Constitution clearly states that people here in the U.S.A. have the right to practicing their religion without prohibiting freedom of religion. This is baffling me. The thought of the people who are not Christians, and being persecuted in this country, are we re-living the 1500's? I am really dumbfounded with the people who are so obtuse! I really am dumbfounded. (which takes a lot for me to get dumbfounded, if you know me) 

Please comment on this if you are totally with me. If you think that it is O.K. to persecute others, don't comment, because I don't want to argue with an idiot.  

The Difficulty Being a Refugee

I have been thinking about somethings. Well, I have been thinking about a lot. My dear readers, I strongly believe that here in  the U.S.A. people don't understand some basic things, and I have more readers outside the U.S.A. than I do here. However, I want to talk about being a refugee because what readers I do have who are here in the U.S.A. might not realize some important facts about being a refugee. 
I first want to say that, I strongly believe the world will get worse and we haven't seen the last of refugees. In fact, I strongly believe and am adamant (I always have been) that we will see millions upon millions more of a refugee crisis, and more than the mid- 1800's when people were fleeing to the U.S.A. I don't have statistics to prove my statement, and I don't have anything to back this up, however, I stand by my intuition, and my thoughts about this have not let me down yet. 

With that said, back in the 1800's and even early 1900's people were coming by the boat fulls and we basically allowed them here. Of course if they were Mormons, they were treated horribly, and pushed out of New York, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Boston, and then later, Illinois, Missouri, and into Utah, but that isn't what I am talking about today. 

Let's see what it takes to be a Refugee right now. In my last post I talked about how come my husband and I didn't register him as one. (Making things more complex for us is one of the reasons, but, here is what you have to do to be considered a Refugee here in the U.S.A.)

First, Refugees are seeking Asylum in other countries, and not in their own, because usually they don't have time to be in their country, oro they are already fleeing their country in order to survive. They are seeking help from other countries, and this is what is making them leave. There are various reasons for why people would be seeking Asylum. First the Refugee will have to go to  the U.N. and register as a Refugee. Usually the reason for leaving their country of origin in the first place is because of  Human Rights reasons. (in fact, it's 99% the cause for being a refugee in the first place.) People who leave their country are in constant fear of being harmed, tortured or even killed upon returning back to their original country of where they were born. Also, it is important to understand that The Refugee must seek the status of a refugee outside of the U.S.A. only. Ergo, they can not enter the U.S.A. and then seek the status of Refugee. (This is why they are a Refugee to begin with) There is a definition of Refugee one must meet. The standards are high, because the term Refugee is not used loosely in the U.N., Geneva Laws, and in the countries which will take in Refugees. 

Now, seeking Asylum are for people who are seeking protection. These people are those who:
Are already considered a Refugee (you must meet the definition of a Refugee)
Are already in the U.S.A.
Are seeking admission in a port of Entry. 

Seeking Asylum can take place for anyone and they must apply to seek Asylum, which is different than being a Refugee. In Fact, an Asylum seeker doesn't have to a Refugee, and isn't always one, but, a Refugee is always an Asylum Seeker. 
People who seek Asylum can seek it to the U.S.A. in their country of origin, or in the U.S.A. 

The other thing people here in the U.S.A. need to understand is that there have been people who have been turned down as having a Refugee Status. Most of the people we call Refugees aren't even registered as such. According to the U.N., only a few million people have registered. Here in the U.S.A. we would think, Well, of course, it is a natural reaction that when a group of people are attacking our homes and our families have all died, we would flee and find shelter, and register with the U.N. and become a Refugee. (To seek help, right?) Well, millions upon millions of people have refused to register with the U.N. because they have been so severely abused by other factions and other governments, that they have no trust whatsoever in any human being at all, and therefore this has been a huge task and very difficult for the U.N. (as well as the Red Cross, who has been trying to help people gain trust to even get medical treatment and then register as a Refugee.)
So, this is a daunting task. Not only is this really difficult, but then, there is a process to be able to come in to the U.S.A. as a Refugee, and then they have to wait, which takes about three years or longer in order to even come as a Refugee. 

I am talking about all this because people think that this process is easy and anyone can be a Refugee. 
I also have been talking to many people who think that it is something I should look into for Long Rock. 
The other reason is that with all these people coming to the U.S.A. and, Americans need to understand fully, how hard it is to become a Refugee in order to see that there really isn't as much lenience with those who are Refugees. 

Another concern I have heard people say about Refugees is that there is a heightened increase of criminal activity. This is a ploy to keep people ignorant. Criminal activity in places where there are more Refugees have not risen. However, what has happened is violent crimes and hate crimes against Muslims, Sikhs, Indians, and people who have a Middle Eastern "look" to them has risen, even spiked over the last three years. The crimes against them has spiked in droves. The first spike was in the early 2000's, after the 9-11 attacks. (Astonishing because there many Middle Easterners that died in the attacks, please check the truth about the Twin Towers. The World Trade Center hosted MANY Muslims and Middle Easterners who were, and still are, in grave fear that if they come forward and say they had families who died in the 9-11 attacks, they will be accused of terrorism, and have kept it a mystery but only to their families and among those they trust implicitly.) There have also been a high attack against the people of India, although they aren't even Muslim at all. Sikh people have also been attacked, many even stabbed to death since 9-11. The worst part about this is that the attacks tapered down, until about 2015. The started increasing again. They actually became worse than right after 9-11, and FBI has declared that Hate Crimes against Muslims and people who Americans think are M.E. origin have increased by 6%. To some people 6% doesn't seem that much, but, that is quite a bit of people. That is 60 people to every 1,000. This is significant. Attacks at Mosques have gone up. I watched a video on YouTube that was a Mosque opening in "Liberal" "Happy" California. It was horrific. I was so ashamed of these horrible people. They were protesting a Mosque opening in Santa Monica, California. The Californians were yelling and screaming at these people who were also Southern Californians (And Americans!) Yelling at them to "Go home" And "We don't want you here" and to "Go back where you came from" which a really young 12 year old was utterly confused, because, as she said, "I am American. I was born and raised in Santa Monica, so, where am I supposed to go?" 
I think if we just were educated, we would not be making huge fools of ourselves, and in fact we would be helping this world. It is our responsibility, as Americans, to be more compassionate, and more knowledgeable, this means more humane and kinder. I think that instead we have become as a people more awful towards each other. We have been less compassionate towards people who have been a lot less fortunate than ourselves here in The U.S.A. we have no idea what is going on in the world, and mark my words. There are going to be people coming from countries you have never even heard of, namely from the Central Asian region of the world. 
I highly recommend people to read up on this region. We are going to be seeing more people coming from this region than ever. It is imperative that we know and understand the people and the world in which we live. 

So- Long for now my readers. Be kind while I am offline! 

Answers

People have asked me a lot of questions. Fair enough. They don't understand how difficult it is to come to the U.S.A. people think that just because they are married to U.S. Citizen they are automatically allowed in the U.S. I want to dispel those myths. See, I have friends who are married to Irish, English and even Canadian.  They have all had a struggle to bring their spouses here. One friend, who married a Canadian, had a hard time bringing her husband here, and they were separated for three years and 4 months. (So, this does happen, my friends) They say every case is different. But, I would like to answer those irritating questions. 

1) Why don't you just have (Long Rock) come as a refugee?

To come as a refugee to the U.S.A. you first must register with the U.N. as a refugee. This is something that not only takes times, but is very stringent. Because the country in which Long Rock is from, if he files as a refugee, his family will be persecuted by his government, (like all refugees are because this will have to show admittance to the U.N. that there are human rights issues going on in that country, that will cause people to not want to live there.) To sign up as a refugee is quite a process, and it is difficult to prove you are one. So, after all this time if Long Rock and I sign him up as a refugee, his family will be persecuted by the government, and it will take him longer for him to come. His family can go to prison as well. 

2) Why don't you just go to Canada?

I hate answering a question with a question, but, Why do I have to go to Canada? Where is my job? Where is my home? Where is my citizenship? Don't people know that my Citizenship is not in Canada? And I will have to settle there, get a job (not easy for Americans to get a job there) And then apply for him to come to Canada. And Why do I want to go to Canada when nothing is there for me. This is one of the most irritating questions I have to answer many people... Daily...

 

3) Why don't you just go back to Turkey? 

I hate this question. I hate saying, "Because I am a U.S. Citizen and I deserve to have my husband here, with me, as a married couple. Because, it is his right to be here with me. There are a hundred answers to this question and none of them seem to satisfy anyone who listens to me. 

4) Does your husband really want to be here? I want to answer like this; "Are you kidding me? Can you really be that obtuse?" But, the answer is this, "Yes" and the long answer is this; "The United States Government has all people sign a paper saying, I am so-and-so, and I am signing this paper knowing that (Whomever) bringing me to the U.S.A. is helping me come to America on my own free will and I am not forced to come to the U.S.A." in fact, all people that come to the United States, needs to sign something to that effect. They are willingly signing the paper knowing that they want to come on their own free will. Whether it is a Tourist Visa, or a Student Visa, they all sign something stating they are coming because they want to and aren't being forced into coming. 

Well, I think that about answers everything for now. When I come up with more lovely questions people ask, I will most certainly entertain you all, in the meantime, stay smart.   

"Hunger" Strike

I have no hunger pains. 

I have other pains the past few months. One being a very impenetrable heartache of not seeing my Husband in 2 years 10 months and 2 weeks. 

I can't take it any longer. I can't eat. I have no joy in anything. I have woroked so hard to bring my husband here and I have done everything that has been asked and required of me because I have been working so hard to bring my husband here. 

I can not tell you about how many tears I have cried. As I write this I continue to cry. Just tears streaming down my face. I have not seen my husband in so long. I think of my husband. He has done nothing wrong. He has loved me and been faithful to me as I him during this whole time we have been married yet, not been together as we have been trying to be living together as husband and wife. This is our RIGHT as me being a Citizen of the United States Goverment. 
But, am I really sacrificing anything when I don't hunger, I don't thirst? I think it's my body just saying, "You can't take this any longer" (this being my husband and I being separated so long, it is effecting our mental well being) 
I think the worst part of this is my husband's soul in despair. This kills me. Has anyone read the book or seen the movie 'LadyHawke'? It stars Matthew Broderick, Rutger Hauer, Michehlle Pfiffer, and John Wood. It is of a man and woman who are cursed, and at night the Captain turns to a wolf and the Hawk becomes a woman, whoever right at the break of dawn, the Captian becomes a man, anad the woman becomes a Hawk. It's heart breaking because there is just seconds of their inbetween time where they barely can touch when they are both transformed. I feel like this is myself and my beloved husband. I keep praying and saying, "Ok, God, it's ok tko punish me for whatever I have done in my life, but, stop pnishing my husband." This is not fair to the most loving and good man that I have ever known that is not a family member. In about three weeks, It will be three years that we have not seen eachother and I am just trying to bring my husband here honest and the right way. 
What angers me are people that come here and cheat the entire system. I don't know how to lie, even if were the death of me. My husband is the same way. We just don't know how to lie. 
So, we wouldn't know where to begin  to cheat his way here. 
So, I call this a hunger strike, but is it fair to call it that when how can I feel hunger or thrist without my beloved? It's just probably my body breaking down and telling the universe I can not function without him. that is what it is. My body can not function without my beloved husband. I force myseslf to drink from time to time for the health of my kidney. But, there is celebration, no colors in my world. Everything is gray until I have my husband at my side.
I told a friend of mine whose friends with a Senator who I just honestly have determined that no one cares, that I have impenetrable sorrow. It is constant. I hate the question "How are you?" I hate hearing it, because I want to say, "What do you think how I am? My husband is not here, my life, my love is not with me, and he is in a very difficult place to live right now, do you really want to know?" 
My husband asks "How are you doing?" and I can tell him, those conversations are only for me and him. 
In the culture there, I can't imagine what he is going through because people can say, Well you have not seen her for three years. there is a lot of bad sigma along with this situation we are in, and now that there is turmoil in Turkey, who knows when we will see each other. It is most depressing. 

Hold your loved ones, my readers. Never let a day go by without telling your loved ones you love them. Time is precious. 

Open Letter to Shah Rhuk Khan

I am sure Mr.SRK will never read this, however, after what happened to him this past weekend, I am compelled to write this. 

Dear Shah Rhuk Khan, 
  You have never known me and most likely, I will never have the honor of being graced by your presence, however, I am compelled to write this to you. I truly hope that you continue to come to our country. The reason why, is because we need more Muslims here, not less. 
  You see,Mr Khan, and any Muslim reading this, us Americans are broken. This has nothing to do with you, and this is not a religious problem, although people will love to say it is. It is easy to put religiion in any equation, however, most Americans don't realize how dangerous this is. 
I am raised Christian, ("Mormon" to be exact), I have a Muslim daighter who is half Syrian, and I have a husband who is Muslim, and other children who are Christian, Agnostic towards any Dogma at all, and I have concluded that it is important for Americans to stop this ignorance and realize that people are just that. I, as an American, am constantly being pulled aside in the airports. You see, my daughter who travels around the world, is always getting asked many questions also. I recall one time I was flying with her to United Arab Emirates, and they pulled me into a room and pulled my daughter at the age of 14, into another room. She asked me before she went in the room without me, "Momma, what do I say?" I said, "Be resepctful and be honest." What does a mother say to someone who has this 'authority over you whilst you're just trying to travel'. 
My daughter moved out of the state we reisde right now because of the horrible treatment shse recieved and lack of protection that the Administration, the Teachers and Faculty of the schools would not give to my daughter. Indeed, we have had our frustrations living in hte U.S.A. with the most ignorant, blinded people, and sadly, the media here fuels this. I have seen it in Turkey as well, and my husband sees it everyday presently, as USA is blamed for every wrong thing with the world.
Maybe it's true. Maybe everything that is wrong with the world is because of the USA. 
  I have seen, in my humble human experience, the worst and the best of any culture. 
I will say the best of my culture here in America is we are still really naiive. This can be a bad thing or a good thing. But, sometimes it is an endearment, that is according to Europeans, really annoying, about Americans. We have a tenancy to believe everything we see on the Tele. We just do. 
Now take that and welcome to the beautlful state of Utah, where it is the White Collar Criminal Capitol of the USA. (you could even say the world). You could sell us Mormons here, a visa card that will feed 1,000's of starving African kids from your rewrds points, and we will buy as many as those as possible. 
We are sorry, though. I am speaking for many Americans when I say this. I know MANY Americans that love other culltures and people and religions. I will speak for myself when I say I have become enchanted with Bollywood 4 years ago when I first saw your movie clip/ music video of "Chaiyya Chaiyya", and fell in love with the song, and of course had to watch who this man, Shah Rukh Khan guy is. And I have not stopped. If I could have a sit down conversation, I would think that we would have lots in common. I would also have many questions too. 
  If you feel better, Senator Ted Kennedy was also on the TIDA list, as his name has been used as  alias. I think that would make you in good company, how you look at it. (I presonally am not a fan of the Kennedy's at all, though I love Maria Shriver, and take her side on what her husband did to her: Boo, Mr Swartzeneggar (sp) 
I hope you continue to come to America and often. We Amercians need to be more compassionate, and I myself and truly saddened and annoyed that of all people THE SRK had to be detained. You are also in the same position as a person I know who was detained in London Heathrow Ariport for 12 hours (yes: American, and Muslim)
  Please come and visit USA often. If you ever make it to Utah, I shall make you chay,(Turkish) and read your coffee grains. 

Peace, people of the world, and sorry to all the travellers from outside the USA who have to deal with a lot of garbage just to visit. 

Pondering Things

It is September 11, 2011. 
today has marked the 10 year Anniversary that Americans lives have been forever changed. 
 
I posted this on my Fb wall but feel I should repost it here
I am so tired of hearing how bad Americans are. I am tired of hearing how it is our fault for everything gone wrong with other people's Nations. I am tired of hearing how Democracy is this or that! I say... We are here as humans put on this big planet to learn to love and get along. Many people have lost lives regardless of skin color or nationality. My country is not perfect, and by all means I do not agree with everything my presidents do, but, We are trying to move forward and move on and we want peace in all lands. We want people to live good happy lives all over the world. That is really the true American Spirit. the American dream is that people can live where they are happy, where they are free and where they can prosper. That is what we really want. And yes... I think I will have to use the Delete Button for anyone that does not wish to have something about peace or kindness to humanity. 
We Americans have in our own way been through many many hardships before and since 9-11. 
We- the majority of us Americans do not believe that our own Government took part in conspiring to the events of 9-11. 
If anything we were very complacent. We thought that nothing like that would happen to us. We thought that we were too far from other places that have this happen so often. We hear about terrorism in other parts of the world but we did not understand where parts of the world are. 
Dear Reader, we are not ignorant to the world, we are just wrapped up in our homes, jobs, families, work, school, our own problems we never thought about other people in other lands that would hurt us only because we never think of hurting them
  We have a different way of thinking than other parts of the world. 
We all want the same thing, that is peace. We all want the world to be a better place. 
We want people to have what we have because we hold dear the freedom we have. We feel it is something everyone deserves to have. I do not believe in forced democracy, but I do believe that we can all find a way to peace and I hope that everyone has the same freedoms I was raised with. I mourn for 9-11. It was a huge trauma for me and my friends.
But I look to the future with hope that our lives will turn for the better for all the world. That we will all have the freedom, joy and carefree lives that I was raised with in my Motherland. 
 Peace to you all. Love and Harmony to the world.