From Heartache and Pain to Light and Love.

So much has happened I don’t know what to say, nor where to begin.

  The Man I have been married to since 2013, and the one that is in all the revious blogs, had left me to be with another woman, about a year and a half ago.

I was filled with sorrow, sadness and rage. Anger. Lots of crying.  I teetered between sad and anger. 

I found out he had been cheating on me the ENTIRE time we were together. So, All the work of getting him here he had been with other women. I know of at least one, but there might be more. 

Then, I found out he got married a few days after our divorce. To the person he had been cheating on me for three years with. (When he first came here)

There was a lot of crying, a lot of him lying and lying more. There was a lot of him blaming me, typical of a narcissist. I didn't even realize that he was lying to me, and this is typical of people who are being hurt by these sociopaths. 

Now, Since I had realized that all this was happening, and I then realized that he kept stringing me along, making me feel guilty if I expressed my hurt and anger, I stepped away from the feelings I had and started analyzing me. 

HOW am I going to protect myself?

WHAT would I say to my daughters or my friends, sisters, if they were in the same situation as I?

Then, I thought about how I would try to remain friends with this person. I mean we were together for 16-17 years. 

This was a bad idea. 

This was giving this person a lot of leverage. For normal people, this would have worked out. 

But, his words were, I want to leave her, I hate her, I didn't want to marry her, I was just angry at you, she is hitting me, throwing things at me, she cheats on me, she has many boyfriends, she is on a date with many men, she has date apps on her phone, I tried to go on date apps and look for other women, I liked a picture on a date app that was her friends, and she got mad at me, I love only you, I always love you more than anything, you make me feel embarrassed about myself, you left to go to America, I didn't know I was going to go to America, You made me feel bad about myself, I love you more than anything, I want to come live with you, can I live with you, you are the only person I know in America. 

 

When he left me, I was excited to work on me. I had played the cello in the past, and a couple years ago for my birthday, my mom bought me a cello,. I was in search for a cello teacher. I thought, Well, I have my cello, my arts, my sewing, I will work on me. I was cleaning and getting rid of a bunch of things and Although he had filed for divorce, and was leaving me, He hadn't yet, and I opened my cello case. My world was crushed. He had broke my cello, smashed it up into 5 pieces! It was all that I felt was a part of me, and he couldn't just crush me, he had to crush my very soul, take away my cello, too! I cried and cried and cried over that one, and realized at that moment, that there is no going back. He had took all that was left of e, and destroyed my wings, too. 

 

Whilst trying to figure out my own feelings about all of this, I started feeling like I was not able to figure me out. I needed to figure out me, and how I was going to deal with all the hurt and pain, betrayal and sadness. 

I tried going on a few dates. From January through April. I could not make sense of anything, and on top of which I was working from 8 pm to 6 am. I was not in a healthy head space, at least I felt like I wasn't. I needed to find me again. 

 

I met a couple of guys that I would have gotten on with, but immediately stopped talking with them when I found out they were married! WTF is wrong with people and having to date whilst married, what idiots. 

 

I got a new job in April, giving me better hours and a higher pay. I loved it. 

In May, I decided to give my mom a couple months membership to a public pool that I have been going to since 2020. It is really nice and has an indoor pool, and some other really cool amenities, but I love going to the outdoor pool in the Summer. I was excited to get my sun time in, get into the Summer. June 2nd I was in an accident at work. I tore my rotator cuff. It was so damaged, I needed surgery! 

When I was hired on for the position at the new job, I had told the Company that I was willing to relocate, and I was willing to travel 90% of the time. I was alone, and I thought, this is a new chapter, bring it on! 

   About a Week after I hurt my shoulder, I was in my car with my mom. We were  driving in the parking lot of the pool we were going to. It was a morning I will never forget and is in my mind forever. 

I was telling my mom I would much rather be a lone than be with any man. I was through with men, and wanted to be alone. 

My mom suggested I go online, and I said, no. I did that with EX, no. I want real true love and I haven't found it, I am done looking. The man that wants to be with me forever is in heaven, and died in a battle in the 1500's freeing Scotland. I saw this man, Super TALL with his back facing us and getting his swimming gear ready to swim. I said, that guy looks cute, but my mom didn't pay much attention. I told my mom, walking to the building, that I was going to go out that night with a man, but the night before I found out he was married, and so I am done with dating and seeing men. The guy at the truck that was ready-ing his swim things, ran up ahead of us. I did not ever expect what happened next to happen. He opened the door for me and my mom. I looked at him and said, Thank you! My mom said, What a gentleman! He said, This is how men should be. And I said This proves to me that chivalry is not dead. He said, No it isn't, and all men should open the door, that is how my mom taught me to be. 

Since that chance meet, Mr PG is what I will call him, has been at my side. Well, let me be more crystal clear. Since August 29th  PG has been at my side, all sumer long we talked, I wanted to get to know him more. I was still leary. But then, One day in July I decided to tell a friend of mine what I was feeling about PG. I told her that I was manifesting to the universe that I no longer anted X in my life. I don't want how he treated me and all his lies, and I gave him my ALL and he did not love me, and I want to give PG a chance at love. 

All last Summer we ended up staying hours at the pool. He got a little sn burn a couple of times, oooh what we do for love! 

I will say, Thank you to the biggest fraud, and the biggest liar. I am so happy he broke my heart and he left me. Can you believe I would even say that? 

If he never left me, I would have never met teh most beautiful, handsome, masculine, tallest, amazing lover of my life, and, He is my soul mate. I could not say that about my X... I have the love I deserve! 

With pain, sorrow and lots of faith, there is love, light, someone that is seeking you. 

Rumi said" What you are seeking- The Universe is seeking you"

Well, okay. He said it more eloquently, but, what can I say? 

Love and Light... 

I hope this reaches someone who was/ is in the same position I was in last year. I want to give that person hope. There is good and love out there. Keep looking, keep seeking and don't accept less! 

Loves, 

Dee

 

The Happiest and Biggest News since 2013

Making a HUGE Announcement

Hello, Dear Readers! It has been too long since I have written anything, and I apologize for that. I really want to better in keeping my dear Readers up to date on things. It seems like this past few months have gone by so quickly! 

Well, I want to announce my eldest son, J, got married this past year at a beautiful Temple in Utah. (Yes, we are from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints we are also known as Mormons, but someone made the name Mormons not a “thing”) 

The next item of business is that my husband, LongRock finally is able to come reunite with me. He got his visa today. We haven’t seen each other for 5 years and 6 months. Words can’t describe my excitement! I have missed him for so long. We will have to get to know each other again, and I have no problem having my husband here for our anniversary and from this time forward. I am over the moon with joy, and, I know he is as well. I don’t think I have been this happy since I last saw my husband. LongRock is so very excited as well. It is going to be the best year ever!

Well, my readers, I will write again soon.

Happy Christmas, World

I haven't said much about this topic lately, but, I think I will now. 
I haven't been shy in telling people that I have a birth father. He was not a part of my life, I mean, he was to a small degree, and I always wanted a relationship with him. 
Growing up was hard without my dad. I mean, I did have father figures in my life, but I always wanted a dad. My own dad married my mom when I was 10, and they had 3 more children together. My dad was kind to me, and he has become more and more cynical the older he has been getting. It's been hard. I never knew why my daddy (my birth father) wasn't around me. It was really painful. 

About three year ago when I went off Facebook (or was that two years ago) I started writing texts to my brother my birth father's son, so my brother. Just back and forth, hey, how's it going... That kind of stuff. Thanksgiving of 2017 my daddy called me! I knew immediately it was him! I was so happy! we talked for an hour and we started from that time on, to talking, texting, etc. I have been loving it. I have never spent a holiday with him. It's been a year and a month that we have been talking on a regular basis. about three weeks ago I was invited to go to my daddy's house to spend the Holiday season with him, his wife, my brother and sister! I will be going to his home tomorrow, and I will be returning in a week! I am really super excited about it. I have decided to let go the asking why I have not been able to see him for years, and I have not asked him why my childhood was spent without him. Will those answers really settle with me? I don't think that they will. But, there here and now, and not living in the past, being able to connect with him and learn about his life and family and culture, will help me find out who I am. Not knowing him is like not knowing who I am. I am really blessed that I am able to have this opportunity. My daddy and I can have a relationship now. We can do catch up and I can learn more about my Czech side of my family. I am really excited. REALLY excited. I feel that winter time is a time of rebirth, renewal, and I feel that this is the perfect time for renewing my relationship with my daddy. It is a beautiful thing. I know that it takes a lot of growth to forgive and let go, and move on and move forward.  I hope that anyone reading this has an opportunity to renew relationships and show love and kindness to the people around them. It is a good thing. We want light, love, and good things in our lives. 

Love and Hugs  to all those reading this! I will write more when I am in my (wont say where) daddy's house, enjoying the amazing time with my paternal family! 

The Finalization of Facebook Detox (It’s a Good Thing)

About a year ago I had decided to no longer go onto Facebook. I wrote about it, and called it Facebook Detox. (Admittedly, I wrote Detox I, II, and possibly III.) At first, I thought it would be really hard for me to no longer have social media. As the days turned to weeks, then months, I can honestly say, I am not missing a thing. I still kept my Facebook messenger on my phone, but, I never had the Facebook App. Ever. I wanted to keep in contact with some of my friends who are distant from me but, have been my friends for 35+ years. They are the friends that we caught up on Facebook Posts, and, honestly, I have to say that I do not miss Facebook at all. I will never miss “selfies” (pictures people take of themselves), I know a person (whom I shall call C.) who is about 8 years older than myself. I noticed that she spent 90% of her time whilst hanging out with me, on Facebook. She constantly posted pictures of herself, and, would keep me up to date (about every 5 minutes) on how many people liked her picture she had taken of herself. In fact, she would get upset if a certain guy didn’t comment or “like” her photo. She really was in her mid 50’s. Her whole life was spent on who liked her profile, who liked where she was, her posts, her pictures. (I use this in past tense, because we are no longer friends, and I really am a better and happier person since I had severed ties with her.) I did give her credit for one thing. She never took a selfie with a shower curtain behind her. (Gag, people. Really!!) 

I have seen this age of people that care so much about how many friends they have on Facebook, and even will go so far as to make Facebook, or any other social media as a “scale” if you will, of whether or not you were friends, based on the interaction with (said social media). I didn’t end my friendship with her because of Facebook, however, her friendship was measured according to her, based on Facebook. In fact, we got into an argument, and her first thing she texted me as I was driving home, was, “I deleted your bitchie ass- We are officially no longer friends” in reference to her going onto Facebook, deleting me as her friend, and then thinking that I would be so torn up about her deleting me, I would absolutely break down and sob. I didn’t. In fact, I still think it was funny, in a pathetic way, that she would think that our Facebook friendship meant more to me than our actual friendship. 

It made me realize, however, that people are conditioned to feel acceptance, friendship, self worth, all on Facebook or any other social media. 

I tend to see Social Media as Pavlov’s Dog. The bell in this case would be the message indicator that someone like something, retweeted, reposted, etc etc whatever you posted or wrote, and the reward is looking at the phone to see who liked, commented, retweeted, reposted, shared the post you wrote... etc. 

Is it really that rewarding? 

I have found in my case, that I can and do live with out social media. When I am with my friends, I want to be with them, not posting things that we are eating together, where we are, and taking a picture of what we are doing just to make sure everyone likes or comments what I am posting. How about the old fashioned way of being around those you care about? I found it really refreshing and, even felt really proud of my mothering, when, last February I took my two sons and one daughter out for dinner to celebrate child #4’s birthday. While we were waiting for the order to arrive, not one of us were on our phones. We were in conversation, laughing, even playing a catapult game with packets of Jams and a spoon, (taking me back to my teenage years!) and really enjoying each others company. With that, We would once in a while take a picture of places the jam packets would land (one catapulted to a TV wall mount and remained there). The waiter came by as were doing this, and we apologized profusely, when he, and several of his colleagues said they loved us as customers because, for the first time, a family is not on their phones, and, we were paying attention to each other and those around us. They had said they have not seen that in years. In fact, the waiter was about the same age as child #4 or #5, and he said he had never seen that in life, and most people nowadays are just too engrossed with their phones, that, people don’t even greet him when he comes to the table to get their order. He also said that sometimes, he would have to wait about 20 minutes for the customers to be off their phones so he could run over to the table to take their orders. 

This is what it’s come down to. 

Is our society really going to not be interactive and interface with each other? In the 1950’s many people didn’t want Televisions in their homes because they felt like it was a control tactic (or tool) to get into the younger people’s brains. Some people called out that those who thought televisions were dangerous were conspiracy theorists who had too much time on their hands. Well, aren’t we now? 

I really think that Facebook was more harmful to me than I realized, and I am so glad I made the decision to cut out social media. 

HI WORLD!

Hi, World! I want to give "shout outs" to all the different people from all over the world, that read my blog! I am amazed! 
So, according to my stats, Russia is where most of my readers are from, USA is second, and then there are people from Ireland, Turkey, Scotland, Ukraine, Pakistan, India, England, France, Spain, The U.A.E., Germany, Lithuania, Sweden, and, The Czech Republic! Thank you to all of you for coming back to my blog. I hope that if any of you want me to talk about a topic, you can put them in the comments. (Please be respectful.) 
So, Because Russia is my biggest fan, THANK YOU GUYS!!! 
YOU ALL ARE AWESOME!!!

And everyone else: Thank YOU, THANK YOU!!! 
I don't get paid for posting, and I like to write, and express myself on here, and I get really happy that I get so many readers. It makes me feel good. Because over the last month, and since I have been really random with writing lately, I am more motivated to write more, and more often. I really appreciate all of you! 
I want to say, I love that there are people in so many countries that read my blog, and some are from places that, right now is not safe for them, and even, some of my dear readers are from countries that the US and the country they are from are having some pretty intense words by my leader of USA and your leader of (you know which countries you all belong to that are tense) I love that you and I are still connected to the internet, and that we come together in this Huge World that is the Internet. It is really awesome! I wish that our planet can all just hug everyone, and be friends. I consider all of you readers my internet friends, and I hope we all spread the lovin'  
Well, Gotta Go for now!
I'll be back more often! 
Cheers! 
Deej

The LGBT Community in Turkey

For the last 15 years, the LGBT community has been holding an annual Gay Pride, or Trans Pride Week, which was more of a festival, where the community started off with a parade, and many singers would perform, people would be able to talk to those in the Community to learn and knock down barriers, and make the community feel like they are more accepted. Last year was the first year they were not allowed to have the Pride Week, because the Government (aka, the de facto President, "President" Erdogan,)said that they were "Perverts". This year he made it completely against the law for any group of the LGBT to do any congregating at all, in fact, he came out with a statement that said something to the effect that because they are perverts. 
This is what I find so disturbingly sad. So, over the last three years, Erdogan has become more of a horrific person than anything else. Let me be perfectly clear. Erdogan is a horrible human being, and doesn't even deserve to have the power he has. Let me be more clear. There was an election last year,  in which a member of another Party leader won by a landslide. This party is called the Kurdish Revolution Democratic Party. In Turkish called the DHKP party. Within a couple of days from the election, in which Erdogan lost, he had thrown in to prison the leader. the man is named Dursun Karatas,(pronounced Karatash,).  Well, this is the problem. For the longest time, Turkey has been the secular region of Asia, and predominantly Muslim, but, it was a place for non Muslim and Muslims alike to visit, and was really safe for the region. They also were supposedly helpful for the region, this is not the case now. What is so disturbing about this is that there is a large LBGT community in Turkey. Many actors, singers, song writers, famous people are Trans, and Homosexual, and they were (are) widely popular, yet they have had to leave Turkey about a year ago because of Erdogan. They will face brutal attacks, no protection from the law, because Erdogan wants to made Turkey into the former Ottoman Empire (!!UGH!!) 
There are layers upon layers to this story, and this is just one of the examples of how dangerous this psychopath is. He attacked the poor by sealing up the mine that fell and had over 300 poor men in it, telling their families that there was nothing he could do and that they were already dead, sealing the said mine with concrete, when the men were alive. Then he started telling the women they had to wear scarves when it was against the law to wear them in Public buildings. Then he systematically started dismantling the Kemal Ataturk's former laws that Mustafa Kemal put into place, then he started attacking groups of people like the LGBT community. They are very vulnerable in Africa, China, India, Central Asia, and now Turkey. There are other groups of people that are also vulnerable. The problem with Governmental Leaders is when they have an angst towards any group of people, the followers of that leader see it as a ticket to attack those groups of people. We see it here in The USA, we see it in all communities and countries all over the world. Turkey is becoming an oppressive society, which is a nightmare.The only solution is to get the crazy psychopathic thug out of power...     

Catching Up

So, I have a thing of things I say. I am actually quite funny and even sometimes profound. But, all that's said and done, I am original. 

So here's a few things that I said while I was not on here: 

"You're Fucking Kidding me, aren't you?"
(A certain someone decided to ask me, while smiling an impish grin, "Why isn't your husband here, again?" as the said person had actually had the nerve to get herself scammed of hundreds of thousands of dollars, while telling me that helping me by cosponsoring my husband was too risky and she could lose everything, of course, it was scripted, and just ass holey, because her motives for getting scammed of almost a million dollars, was purely selfish while helping me was absolutely just a kind act.)

(Me pointing to a shrine of a high school grad- student, freak, it's high school, to boot an 8x10 picture of a girl wearing a Native American War Head Dress): Yeah, I am not dealing with this today. (as I left the house, while my friends and associates just went, HAHAHA, Yeah, what?" Leave on a high note I say. 

I laughed so hard I had tears streaming down my legs. (yeah that was a conversation with a friend of mine and I... We were laughing and I thought that sounded funny, no, it didn't really happen, well, I have no witnesses, so no...)

Couple of sad things... 

Three weeks and two days ago I adopted a sweet little black bunny (color of husband's hair) with big beautiful brown eyes (Again the color of husband's eyes... Right?!?) After two weeks I was so allergic, that after cleaning thoroughly, my area were the bunny was, I am still suffering the allergies, I had to give her to my sister who after a week found a home for her... Happy moments are crushed by bits of the sad parts.  

I have survived this horrible stomach virus and today am starting to feel better... 
I think by Friday I will be able to sit in the sun again. 

The bright side of this? I don't have ebola virus and, who knows, maybe LongRock will get his ass here. 

I'm peacing out for now.  

876-493-4455

This is a phone number that keeps calling me. It will not stop. The phone number is from Jamaica. He keeps telling me I have to pay the FBI or The IRS 50,000 dollars because I won a "Cherry Red Mercedes and 2 million dollars". (Insert very angry face here) 
Now, he calls me every 3-10 minutes a day... Literally. I have put my phone numbers on the F.T.C. "Do not call List" I have properly registered my phone numbers, and I have made a claim against this number. I have changed my phone numbers three times, and still he keeps calling. He demands to speak to my husband and he is completely harassing me. It's horrible. I am frustrated, angry, upset and at the end of my rope with this guy. I emailed the Ambassador of Jamaica that is stationed in D.C. and complained, that will not do any good either, like they care! 
I feel like going to Jamaica myself, talking to the police there about this scum bag, and I feel like throwing a bag of poop on the doorstep of this guy. I am not the first person he has harassed. What gets me is that the guy that is doing this, there are hundreds of people he's done this to already! He's also doing this to my boss. It's disgusting. He is a low life P.O.S. and I am sick of his calling boss, me, and harassing me. He is a bully and a liar. I hope he will be stopped.  

Happy International Women's Day!

Today (Well, since it is 1 a.m. for me, Yesterday) was International Women's Day. I want to tell all my women sisters of the world, Happy International Women's Day! You are beautiful, you are lovely, and you deserve to be treated with love, kindness and respect everyday of the year, not just on this wonderful day! 
In United States, International Women's Day isn't as celebrated as it is in other parts of the Globe However, In America we have Human Right's, and while we are considered "ahead of the world" I do not think that we have cause to complain. 
There are other parts of the world have definitely have it far worse than we do. We do, still have a ways to go. But all in all, we really have no cause to complain. 
In these times and this life with this world, us humans should be caring for our women. Women brought us life. Women gave us birth and suffered through the ages, for which the men has made us suffer. 
We need to be united as women, show goodness and love and kindness to our fellow sisters. There is no reason to put other women down. We women should stand by, uplift, edify, emulate goodness, peace and love to ALL women all over world. You brothers, sons, husbands, fathers, should be protecting, caring and loving the women in your life. Women have through out the ages been vulnerable, and you men need to care and love and help to strengthen women. The societies in the world who are good to the women and children are the ones who thrive and are better societies. Those regions in the world who are  harming, non-protective and hurt women and children, will never ever rise to a better society. Cultures in the world who treat women with anger, hate and harm women and children, will surely fail in the building of their nation. Suppressing, demoralizing, psychologically, emotionally and physically harming women create the most evil type of world. In fact, it will cause grave moral harm to your own soul. 
To all the people of the world, I ask you start caring for the women of our world. Women need to be cared for and treated with respect and love. Let's make this world a better place. Treat women like queens and raise your children to be kind and loving to all people. We want a place for our posterity to live that has good moral values, happy lives, and a peaceful society... 

Peace and Love to all...
Mrs. LongRock 

Another Skyrim Post?

I don't watch the news, and I don't watch Television. But, I keep up on the news. And one of the things I keep up on is Gaming News. Gaming News is important. (Well, for me) 
I don't have a DVD drive in my laptop. And i have been lazy, because I have not gotten the other Elder Scrolls Games. (Skyrim is Number 5, for those of you who don't know.) 
So, I have always wanted to play the Elder Scrolls games, the ones before Skyrim... They take place in a fictional world named Nirn, and the continent of Tamriel. The first, The Elder Scrolls: Arena, was released in 1994. It was first intended to have players assume the role of an arena combatant, however, the development shifted into a Role Playing Game. 
The Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfall came out in 1996, and was one of the first 3D worlds on a larger scale, in the game, the world was as large as Great Britain. 
The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind came out in 2002, with individually detailed landscapes, and a smaller game as the other two, but sold over 5 million games by 2005.  There were two expansions that were sold for Morrowind, one called Tribunal and the other, Bloodmoon. 
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion started getting developed in 2002, and became more improved in the interaction and making the game world something that had never been seen before. The focus was on artifical intelligence, and making the player believe they were in the world they were playing. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion came out in 2006, and was successfully by critics and consumers alike. Oblivion came out with expansion packs, Knights of Nine and Shivering Isles. 
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is the game I absolutely love, and play often, which came out on 11-11-2011. It takes places 200 years after the storyline of Oblivion (which is why I want to play the other games!) Skyrim got three expansion packs, Dawnguard, Hearthfire, And Dragonborn. 
ZeniMax Online Studios and Bethesda Studios came together and made ESO (Elder Scrolls Online) which is a Massively Multiplayer Role Playing Video Game, which is actually A-Mazing. This came out in April 2015. Gamers can play all of Tamriel, and the game was in development for 5 years before it was actually released. 
So, now, There are rumors that Elders Scrolls VI will come out. Do we know when? No. Everything is on the DL, And I mean... Really hushed. I think because of the release of ESO was so highly anticipated and yet, it took so long before anyone got to play, that this time there is more of a hush hush to TES VI. And, I think, it is rightfully so. As much as I am excited about the next TES fan, I do believe that they have to keep this under wraps until the details (like the release date, story line, etc etc) is full into play. It would be a dream of mine to be a voice actress for TES... But me and a million other people!) I was honored to be a BETA tester for ESO, and while my tests were sadly, what many other testers experienced, I couldn't play because of the servers crashing. But, that hasn't deterred me from being the absolute lover of anything TES. 
I am excited, because Bethesda has come out with Tamriel Unlimited, on PS4, and there are rumors that later this Summer of 2017, TES V will have a PS4 format, making the game playable on PS4, making me actually want one. They will have what is called The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Special Edition. From what I have read, making it on PS4 has been well worth buying it for fellow TES fans. I hear that playing on the PC and playing on XBox has been compressed and suffered with the audio. But, PS4 is better. Way better. I will definitely play it, check it out and post all about it. 
To all you Skyrim Fans, I will quote a Khajiit, "Blessings of the moons upon you, traveler." 

The Freedom of Religion In U.S.A.

For over 200 years, we Americans hold dear to our Freedoms. Our Constitution of the U.S.A. is proof that we wanted to be free from Britain's Rule. The First Amendment states this, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, or abridging the freedom of speech, or the press, or the right to peaceably assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances." This states clearly that Americans have the right to practice what they want as far as religion is concerned. Is anyone worried about this part of the Constitution being violated? (We Americans don't realize we weren't free from the King of England until 1783, but the Declaration of Independence was adopted by the Second Continental Congress on July 4th 1776, and this is why we Celebrate the 4th of July on that day, although we were fighting the Revolutionary War, and didn't win it until 1783...Just Sayin'. Sorry, I had to add this.)
A couple months ago I wrote on my blog about how most of the writers of the Constitution of the United States of America weren't even religious at all. In fact, many of them left their respective churches after the Revolutionary War, and there were only a couple who were christians. The rest claimed no religion and a few of them stopped going to church at all. So, why the hostilities towards Muslims in particular, now? I have to say, I am very grieved indeed, towards the hostile environment that Americans have caused towards a group of people. Just three days ago another Sikh was killed. My readers, I can not stress this enough... SIKHS ARE NOT MUSLIM!!!! Why is it the Americans that should be reading my blogs aren't and the people who read my blogs are the ones who already know this... (My largest readers are from India, Central Asia, Turkey and the Middle East... Then France, Iceland, England and Last... U.S.A. I have more readers from China and Korea than  I do from U.S.A.) Siiiiigh... (Long exhale, for those who have to translate this) I have repeatedly said, and hoped, that people would be enlightened these days, but, sadly, they are not. How can we bring people to better knowledge these days? 
I have been taught all my life in what us Mormon's call, the 13 Articles of Faith. They are the 13 statements that us Mormons believes. Number 11 states, "We claim the privilege of worshipping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where or what they may"... I was raised that The Jewish people, the Muslims and Christians all believe in the same God. They All worship the same God, just they believe differenly about God, and Jesus. In all honesty, while I was in High School, I lived in a city of 70,000 people. We teenagers didn't do much or have a fun hangout, so, I would go to Mosque in Salt Lake City, I have been known to go to Synagogue, I have also helped sell food and flowers for the Hare Krishna temple which is one of the biggest in the Western States, and it is quite beautiful. I love going there, period. Then, there is a Catholic church I used to go to mass, and I have been to the Episcopal Church, as well as I went to a Lutheran church, and I have spent most of my life (37 years,) understanding, learning and reading about other religions all over the world. I doo this because I want to learn and respect other people's beliefs. This is important to me because my ancestors were kicked out of North Eastern U.S.A. in the 1800's and forced out of Illinois, along with hundreds of thousands of other people in the mid 1800's. Did you know in Illinois it was not against the law to kill a Mormon until 2006? True. So, I am passionate about people allowing others to be whatever religion they want. Or, Not want. I have brothers and sisters who are not Mormon, I have brothers and sisters who are. I have a sister who doesn't even believe there is a God. And I have a brother who doesn't know what he believes. I have children who are Muslim, And a daughter who doesn't believe any church, and a son who is Mormon... Does it matter? If the person is good and kind and loving, who cares what they believe in God? 
So, now is the legal question... Muslim "Ban"? How is this legal? On any level in  U.S. Law, doesn't anyone foresee a huge lawsuit waiting to happen? Can't anyone smell it coming? This isn't even an issue. The Constitution clearly states that people here in the U.S.A. have the right to practicing their religion without prohibiting freedom of religion. This is baffling me. The thought of the people who are not Christians, and being persecuted in this country, are we re-living the 1500's? I am really dumbfounded with the people who are so obtuse! I really am dumbfounded. (which takes a lot for me to get dumbfounded, if you know me) 

Please comment on this if you are totally with me. If you think that it is O.K. to persecute others, don't comment, because I don't want to argue with an idiot.  

On Being Selfish

I don't think anyone who has never lived in America knows how hard it is to live here. If you think you know about America because of the movies you watch, you need to rethink your ideas about America. America isn't a country that will allow you to just come here and bring your family, unless you are coming illegally. To anyone here illegal, I despise you because I am not able to see my husband because of you. 

If anyone thinks I am selfish they know nothing about me. 

I did not know I would be away from United States for as long as I did. While I was gone, I lost everything in my life. My kids included. Everything I have ever planned in my life has gone to shit. I stayed in Turkey because I was so torn with myself. Not being with my kids, having no job, and no home to return to. But, I fell in love with my husband. I fell in love with my (now) in laws. I didn't want to leave Turkey, but I also wanted to live with my husband as a couple. It could not be so in Turkey. And so, with a lot of difficulty, my husband and I thought that him coming here would be the best option for us. See, while in Turkey, I was living with his grandma. He was/is living with 3 other guys in a tiny hotel room with a window that looks out into the other side of the hotel, and a vent humming constantly and which is super loud and give headaches. There is no air conditioning. The hotel food is terrible, and so this is his life. Rent in the city where he works is outrageous, and so we would not be able to see each other. This is one of the reasons why I wanted to bring my husband here. When I lived in Turkey, I would only see husband every once in awhile. I would have been able to teach over there, however, the country has decided to close private schools, and I would not be able to find proper jobs in order to help us be together. We just want to be together. And, so, I came here, being told by a U.S.C.I.S. Officer that it would take me and my husband no more than 5 months apart. how would I have known I will not see my husband after 3 years and 6 months. This is killing me and my husband. So, It took me several months for me to find a job, get me an apartment, (which I need in order to bring my husband here). This is the thing. I have to meet criteria from the Government mandated by them to me. I have met that criteria, and so it took years for that to happen. Afterwards, the government said that because I have not been paying my taxes long enough, although I make the money they said I have to be paying taxes a lot longer than they originally told me. So, now i am being told by certain people I am selfish. Am I really? I am burning, no, fuming with anger that someone would accuse me of being selfish. I went to Cabo, because #3 child paid for the hotel, and I happened to, for the first time in literally years, go somewhere to relax for 4 days. And it is now being thrown in my face. I was told that me living here and my husband in Turkey is selfish and of me and I do not put him first in anything. I am calling bull shit on this. If I did not put my husband first, why would I go through all this hell, knowing that in the end I would not see him here? I am doing everything I humanly capable of doing just so I can have my husband with me and at my side. This is my only goal, and I  can't stop until this happens. I am just saddened and shocked and upset all at once. It angers me too. I do everything in thinking about how it will effect me and my husband and how can  I bring him here. The first year I came here, I made 1,000. The second year I was here I made 5,000. I have come a long way since then, but, everything is nothing if I can not have my husband at my side with me. I am told that I don't think of him and don't put him first in anything. This cuts me to my soul.  Whomever says this has no idea what I go through to try to bring him here and has no idea what they are talking about.  I will one day be able to face that person and that person will see how wrong they are, and how bad it is to think such things about me. 

The Elders Scrolls V Skyrim

It was 11-11-11 that gaming was forever changed by a game called, "The Elders Scrolls V: Skyrim". The game is a an OWRPG (Open World Role Playing Game). This is also the most "open world" I have yet come to know and love. Many might ask, "What's Open World ? What is a Role Playing Game?"  A Role Playing Game is a Game that a person playing will take on the character. In a sense the game's character (you) becomes First Person. Open World means that a person can basically go anywhere in the game and do anything that you want, without getting points taken away. In fact, it is encouraged to "roam" anywhere in Skyrim. Normally, in Games, if you do things that aren't on the mission, you will not get killed or it won't count against you, like in some other games. I have played a game, that, if you don't go exactly where the instructions say, you die. I think this is a boring way to play a game, because, when you want to look around with out doing anything in the "Mission" are you told to do, you can't. Also, you can't talk to other people, like you can in in this open world game. 
Skyrim is the country in which this city takes place. This is the Fifth installment of the Elders Scrolls. The others older, however, they are all classics, and the graphics for each is ahead of their times. 

Skyrim comes in PC, XBox, PS3 and PS4 versions. I prefer to play on the Playstation, And I have yet to get me a PS4, but I will. I have friends who have played on the XBox, and it is too jumpy for them. Playing on the PC is great, in fact the 

The Difficulty Being a Refugee

I have been thinking about somethings. Well, I have been thinking about a lot. My dear readers, I strongly believe that here in  the U.S.A. people don't understand some basic things, and I have more readers outside the U.S.A. than I do here. However, I want to talk about being a refugee because what readers I do have who are here in the U.S.A. might not realize some important facts about being a refugee. 
I first want to say that, I strongly believe the world will get worse and we haven't seen the last of refugees. In fact, I strongly believe and am adamant (I always have been) that we will see millions upon millions more of a refugee crisis, and more than the mid- 1800's when people were fleeing to the U.S.A. I don't have statistics to prove my statement, and I don't have anything to back this up, however, I stand by my intuition, and my thoughts about this have not let me down yet. 

With that said, back in the 1800's and even early 1900's people were coming by the boat fulls and we basically allowed them here. Of course if they were Mormons, they were treated horribly, and pushed out of New York, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Boston, and then later, Illinois, Missouri, and into Utah, but that isn't what I am talking about today. 

Let's see what it takes to be a Refugee right now. In my last post I talked about how come my husband and I didn't register him as one. (Making things more complex for us is one of the reasons, but, here is what you have to do to be considered a Refugee here in the U.S.A.)

First, Refugees are seeking Asylum in other countries, and not in their own, because usually they don't have time to be in their country, oro they are already fleeing their country in order to survive. They are seeking help from other countries, and this is what is making them leave. There are various reasons for why people would be seeking Asylum. First the Refugee will have to go to  the U.N. and register as a Refugee. Usually the reason for leaving their country of origin in the first place is because of  Human Rights reasons. (in fact, it's 99% the cause for being a refugee in the first place.) People who leave their country are in constant fear of being harmed, tortured or even killed upon returning back to their original country of where they were born. Also, it is important to understand that The Refugee must seek the status of a refugee outside of the U.S.A. only. Ergo, they can not enter the U.S.A. and then seek the status of Refugee. (This is why they are a Refugee to begin with) There is a definition of Refugee one must meet. The standards are high, because the term Refugee is not used loosely in the U.N., Geneva Laws, and in the countries which will take in Refugees. 

Now, seeking Asylum are for people who are seeking protection. These people are those who:
Are already considered a Refugee (you must meet the definition of a Refugee)
Are already in the U.S.A.
Are seeking admission in a port of Entry. 

Seeking Asylum can take place for anyone and they must apply to seek Asylum, which is different than being a Refugee. In Fact, an Asylum seeker doesn't have to a Refugee, and isn't always one, but, a Refugee is always an Asylum Seeker. 
People who seek Asylum can seek it to the U.S.A. in their country of origin, or in the U.S.A. 

The other thing people here in the U.S.A. need to understand is that there have been people who have been turned down as having a Refugee Status. Most of the people we call Refugees aren't even registered as such. According to the U.N., only a few million people have registered. Here in the U.S.A. we would think, Well, of course, it is a natural reaction that when a group of people are attacking our homes and our families have all died, we would flee and find shelter, and register with the U.N. and become a Refugee. (To seek help, right?) Well, millions upon millions of people have refused to register with the U.N. because they have been so severely abused by other factions and other governments, that they have no trust whatsoever in any human being at all, and therefore this has been a huge task and very difficult for the U.N. (as well as the Red Cross, who has been trying to help people gain trust to even get medical treatment and then register as a Refugee.)
So, this is a daunting task. Not only is this really difficult, but then, there is a process to be able to come in to the U.S.A. as a Refugee, and then they have to wait, which takes about three years or longer in order to even come as a Refugee. 

I am talking about all this because people think that this process is easy and anyone can be a Refugee. 
I also have been talking to many people who think that it is something I should look into for Long Rock. 
The other reason is that with all these people coming to the U.S.A. and, Americans need to understand fully, how hard it is to become a Refugee in order to see that there really isn't as much lenience with those who are Refugees. 

Another concern I have heard people say about Refugees is that there is a heightened increase of criminal activity. This is a ploy to keep people ignorant. Criminal activity in places where there are more Refugees have not risen. However, what has happened is violent crimes and hate crimes against Muslims, Sikhs, Indians, and people who have a Middle Eastern "look" to them has risen, even spiked over the last three years. The crimes against them has spiked in droves. The first spike was in the early 2000's, after the 9-11 attacks. (Astonishing because there many Middle Easterners that died in the attacks, please check the truth about the Twin Towers. The World Trade Center hosted MANY Muslims and Middle Easterners who were, and still are, in grave fear that if they come forward and say they had families who died in the 9-11 attacks, they will be accused of terrorism, and have kept it a mystery but only to their families and among those they trust implicitly.) There have also been a high attack against the people of India, although they aren't even Muslim at all. Sikh people have also been attacked, many even stabbed to death since 9-11. The worst part about this is that the attacks tapered down, until about 2015. The started increasing again. They actually became worse than right after 9-11, and FBI has declared that Hate Crimes against Muslims and people who Americans think are M.E. origin have increased by 6%. To some people 6% doesn't seem that much, but, that is quite a bit of people. That is 60 people to every 1,000. This is significant. Attacks at Mosques have gone up. I watched a video on YouTube that was a Mosque opening in "Liberal" "Happy" California. It was horrific. I was so ashamed of these horrible people. They were protesting a Mosque opening in Santa Monica, California. The Californians were yelling and screaming at these people who were also Southern Californians (And Americans!) Yelling at them to "Go home" And "We don't want you here" and to "Go back where you came from" which a really young 12 year old was utterly confused, because, as she said, "I am American. I was born and raised in Santa Monica, so, where am I supposed to go?" 
I think if we just were educated, we would not be making huge fools of ourselves, and in fact we would be helping this world. It is our responsibility, as Americans, to be more compassionate, and more knowledgeable, this means more humane and kinder. I think that instead we have become as a people more awful towards each other. We have been less compassionate towards people who have been a lot less fortunate than ourselves here in The U.S.A. we have no idea what is going on in the world, and mark my words. There are going to be people coming from countries you have never even heard of, namely from the Central Asian region of the world. 
I highly recommend people to read up on this region. We are going to be seeing more people coming from this region than ever. It is imperative that we know and understand the people and the world in which we live. 

So- Long for now my readers. Be kind while I am offline! 

Answers

People have asked me a lot of questions. Fair enough. They don't understand how difficult it is to come to the U.S.A. people think that just because they are married to U.S. Citizen they are automatically allowed in the U.S. I want to dispel those myths. See, I have friends who are married to Irish, English and even Canadian.  They have all had a struggle to bring their spouses here. One friend, who married a Canadian, had a hard time bringing her husband here, and they were separated for three years and 4 months. (So, this does happen, my friends) They say every case is different. But, I would like to answer those irritating questions. 

1) Why don't you just have (Long Rock) come as a refugee?

To come as a refugee to the U.S.A. you first must register with the U.N. as a refugee. This is something that not only takes times, but is very stringent. Because the country in which Long Rock is from, if he files as a refugee, his family will be persecuted by his government, (like all refugees are because this will have to show admittance to the U.N. that there are human rights issues going on in that country, that will cause people to not want to live there.) To sign up as a refugee is quite a process, and it is difficult to prove you are one. So, after all this time if Long Rock and I sign him up as a refugee, his family will be persecuted by the government, and it will take him longer for him to come. His family can go to prison as well. 

2) Why don't you just go to Canada?

I hate answering a question with a question, but, Why do I have to go to Canada? Where is my job? Where is my home? Where is my citizenship? Don't people know that my Citizenship is not in Canada? And I will have to settle there, get a job (not easy for Americans to get a job there) And then apply for him to come to Canada. And Why do I want to go to Canada when nothing is there for me. This is one of the most irritating questions I have to answer many people... Daily...

 

3) Why don't you just go back to Turkey? 

I hate this question. I hate saying, "Because I am a U.S. Citizen and I deserve to have my husband here, with me, as a married couple. Because, it is his right to be here with me. There are a hundred answers to this question and none of them seem to satisfy anyone who listens to me. 

4) Does your husband really want to be here? I want to answer like this; "Are you kidding me? Can you really be that obtuse?" But, the answer is this, "Yes" and the long answer is this; "The United States Government has all people sign a paper saying, I am so-and-so, and I am signing this paper knowing that (Whomever) bringing me to the U.S.A. is helping me come to America on my own free will and I am not forced to come to the U.S.A." in fact, all people that come to the United States, needs to sign something to that effect. They are willingly signing the paper knowing that they want to come on their own free will. Whether it is a Tourist Visa, or a Student Visa, they all sign something stating they are coming because they want to and aren't being forced into coming. 

Well, I think that about answers everything for now. When I come up with more lovely questions people ask, I will most certainly entertain you all, in the meantime, stay smart.   

Covet Part I

I have always been taught that coveting is a sin. The bible says that when Moses came down from talking to God, he had a set of laws. The people, since he was gone in the mountains for 40 days, they were worshipping a Calf they made from gold, and they were reveling in their freedom, and when Moses saw the people, he broke the commandments that were given, said that they weren't ready for them, and went back to the mountain, and God gave Moses ten commandments, apparently more simple then the ones before. Christians are taught that when Jesus came, he gave the people laws that were more complex, and called "the higher law". Anyway. I don't know what number "Thou shalt Not Covet" is, but, I have never been jealous in all my life. In fact, I have always been happy for those who got recognition or earned something I wanted or didn't have. I have always been happy for others. I never knew what it was like when a friend of mine said "I got this"... and I thought "Gosh I wanted that more than she or he did!" 

Today I think, for the first time in my life I feel jealousy. Or covet something my friend has. In fact, I am annoyed and frustrated she has it. I also feel angry at myself, and shame for feeling the way I feel and I hate it, but I am still jealous and coveting her. 

Let me tell you what happened. Then you can judge me. (please don't judge me too harshly)
I have a friend who has been talking online to a guy for about 1 year and 6 months. The guy she had been talking to came from The Congo, went to Malaysia, and had been there for a couple years, working and going to school. My friend, last July had been telling me if she didn't get her online boyfriend here by the beginning of this year, she would have to stop talking to him because she can't live "like this anymore". I have spoken to him a few times, on Skype, and I supported all her feelings and thoughts about online relationships, and I thought to myself, "Well, hopefully she finds happiness and love". So, about 3 weeks ago, she wrote me about how I need to forget bringing my husband here through the U.S. and how I should just go to Canada, and meet my husband in Canada, and how I should just have a job there, and I would see my husband so much faster. I was not responding to her, and I didn't make her think I was going to take her advice, i just responded to her with an SMS that said, "Thank you for your concern." And a smiley face, sometimes a yellow heart after the SMS. 
Last week, I sent her an SMS that said I was thinking of her and hoped that her week was well, and I would like to see her soon. (I have most this week off). I didn't hear from her for a few days, and that is typical, I mean, she is busy. However, yesterday I got this message from her. It read, "I am sorry I didn't respond to you as fast as I normally do, YYYY is here, let me know when you want to meet him! (excited happy emoji)". When I got this message, I didn't open it. I just sat there. I can read the message without opening it. And I did a couple of times. In fact, I still read it. How? Why? 
(Forget those loaded questions, and do I really want to know the answer to them?) And so, I keep on looking at it. I didn't know what to think or how to feel about it. And I kept digesting this. Over and over. (I have too much time on my hands to think, I admit.) 
I was building myself a fire today and it came to me. I am annoyed. I am jealous of my friend, and I am upset at myself for feeling jealousy. I am angry and I am feeling ashamed at myself for feeling such feelings towards someone whom I deeply care about. I am shocked because I have never felt this way. As I sat watching my fire, I realized, I have prayed, so fervently, to bring my husband here. I have fasted God knows, (in the literal sense) How many months, for the well being of my husband and to bring him here. I have had many people fast with me and for me, to bring my husband here. I have paid thousands of dollars in fees, for my husband to come. I have wept countless nights, missing him, yearning for us to be reunited. How much I have wept. I never thought that a human body could produce so many tears. And when I am done weeping, I drink just to refill my cup with more tears. My husband remains faithful to me. I remain faithful to him. It is like that movie Lady Hawke, in which the man in the night becomes a wolf, and the woman in the day becomes a hawk. And then, there is a moment, where the sun and the moon are up at the same time, where it is dawn and the end of night when the two are human form for just a moment, and they see each other, but never to touch. Their undying love remains with them. And We, my husband and I, are able to talk face to face, but, it is with video chat. We can not touch each other, we are not really together but we are. We did not chose this, we chose to immigrate here, but did not chose this length of time to be away from each other. We would not wish this fate on our worst enemy. And yet, here we are. In this half life. When all of our friends around us can life to the fullest, enjoy and have the pleasure of being with whom they desire and when they desire. And we can smile, be polite and kind, and then when the once filled room is empty, and we are in the silence of our loneliness, can just think and wish and hope that one day we will be together. Is it a dream? Is it a night mare? Will we finally one day wake up and and be together all along and think,"That was a bad dream"? All of this and more, came flooding to me at once while I was looking at the fire. I was angry. Forget god. Take Him out of the equation. We are not together. Then, put God into the equation, as though God had anything to do with it. And we are still not together. So, let's say god does have something to do with our lot, that God knowingly put us apart from each other. That is cruel. What a cruel joke. Are we a pawn in His horrific game that we called life? Did he not care that this is humans suffering? And let's say this lot in life is just a "human chess game", what kind of God was I praying to? What kind of God do I believe in? Let's say that "I am learning something" Which I call bull shit. But, Let's say this is a "Deej And Long Rock has to learn something" Do you think for one second that in 10 years from now I will look back and say, "Boy oh BOY! those Good Ole Days when I was all alone, without my husband he was clear over on the other side of the world! What a great Laugh and Joke that was! I miss those days!" Nor can I ever say "I appreciate all this pain of not being with my husband." Sometimes it just doesn't make sense. Then, my next feeling was frustration. Why would God not answer my damn prayers? did I "do it wrong?" (pray that is) How could I feel like such a big pawn in this whole grand thing called life? Then I felt like, I don't want to see my friend, because I would have to hear how she brought her boyfriend here, and how fast and easy it was and how I didn't do this this or that. How could someone revel like that? Then I felt like "Why should I judge her?" And then I felt angry and coveting, and frustrated, and annoyed at my situation all at the same time.   Then, I felt annoyed with myself. Why could I possibly feel so much anger for someone else? It's not her fault. I should be happy for her. It was then I  realized. This is what it feels like to jealous. Not hate anyone, but, Jealous. She gets to be with her boyfriend before my husband is here. It took her just weeks to bring him here, and me? YEARS to bring my husband here. This is messed up. The whole thing is messed up. Am I right for these feelings? Am I wrong for these feelings? Is God a part of all this? Is He displaced in this? Am I being punished for something I didn't do in a past life or something I did do in this life? What of my in laws and husband? They could not be at fault for any of this. So, it is all me. In my hands. I am the one at fault. So, since it is my fault, who am I to be jealous or covet my friend and her human experience. But, this is my husband. He has a right to be here, and I feel it is not fair in all of this. Fair? What is that? What is fair for me is not fair for someone else, right? And What is fair for someone else is not fair for me. My dad always said, "If life were fair, I'd be King". (Ugh! I hate when my dad is right!) Well, doesn't my husband deserve to be King for the day? Do I deserve to be? Which lead me to ask God, for the first time in my life, "Why God, Can't my husband just be at my side right now?" 
And There was no answer. Just the crackling of the fire I built. 

News Here

It is no secret that I live in a small town, I would even call it a village. I live in what is called a Valley, and there comprises of of 3 small cities, of about 500 each community.  There is probably about 2,500 of us humans that lives here year round, and there are tourists that come here to ski every year, about 65,000 people come here to ski, and then in the summer time, about 150,000 people come to camp and get away from the city, water ski, backpack through the Wasatch Mountains, and Bridger Forest of Northern Utah. In the winter, our land becomes very precarious. (land, earth is that way) There are a lot of avalanches up here, closing the canyon to Powder Mountain ski resort. There is also a lot wind up here. Last night several families in several homes were evicted on the West Side of the Valley. There was a large landslide up here last night, and The Red Cross had to help out the  families that had to be evicted. Geologists and engineers came out today to look at the damage, and what can be done. The land is really soft where there was a slide, and it might not be safe to go back there. I feel really sad for those families, and I hope that they will be safe and can resolve this really soon. 

    This is in a neighborhood near another ski resort called Nordic Valley. Nordic Valley Ski Resort has had a couple of hard years. the skiing has been difficult the last couple of years, and Utah hasn't seen a lot of snow. This year, however, we have had the amount of snow I used to see about 25-30 years ago. Anyone younger than 25 would not remember Utah having this much snow. However, this is great! Finally we are where we should have been over the last three decades. For a couple of days, the weather went up to 40 degrees, and then over night, it's been snowy and cold again. Finally a decent winter. (Not that I am promoting winter, here. I actually strongly dislike winter. But I know we need it to have a great summer. And I want to see a lot of green this spring.) 

For my skiing friends, this is awesome! I have a couple of friends that are snow chasers. They will come here in the winter time, about 3-4 months. Then in Spring (we call it mud season up here) they will go to North Carolina where they live, and then in about June or July they head to New Zealand and Australia where there is skiing in about July or August. 

Right now there is what they call "weather bomb" of snow, sun, rain, and a mixture of all kind of weather. Funny, we call that Utah, all. the. time. We get that year round! HA! 

Well, to my readers far and near, to all corners of the world, whether you read this or not, I hope you all are safe and doing well. Many many greetings to each of you and keep safe. 

Peace, 

Mrs. Phelange...

 

A Skit I Have Been Thinking Of

About 6 months ago, I saw a conversation that inspired a skit I thought of and I thought it was really funny. I want to post it before it becomes taken by someone else. 

A guy dies, and is met at the pearly gates with two lines. 
One is "Apple" and the other is "Android". It is all cloudy and happy and clean looking. Saint Paul is helping the Android laine and Saint Peter is in the Apple lane. So, the person is an Apple user, and, Saint Peter is on his Mac Pro, with faster speed putting the people in the places they need to go, because, you know, Apple is better. (Hahaha) 
Well, the guy gets to Saint Peter, and Saint Peter is "busy" typing away on the Mac Pro, and looks up and doesn't stop typing, and he said, "I am in the middle of a blog right now, let me finish this sentence before I save it." The Guy is irritated, and says, "But, I have been standing in line for a long long time". and Saint Peter says, "Well, you think you're going somewhere anytime soon? HAHAHAHA". The guy shakes his head, in disbelief, and really irritated, but what can he do? Saint Peter is in charge of the lane. He gets done after a couple of seconds, and says, "Will the person next in line come approach my desk?" The desk is more of a Judge's Bench, huge, made of mahogany, and super tall, taller than an average human, but there is clouds all around, and behind Saint Peter is a screen, that isn't noticed before. It's all clouds and pretty scenes and looks like a picture, but when looking at it more carefully, It's a huge screen. The guy  approaches the judge's bench, and as he comes forward, Saint Peter says, "Wait, wait, I need a selfie of this, Hollaaaaaa!" and Twitters, "Front Desk of Heaven, Selfie, Hashtag Whatsup, Hashtag Holla, Hashtag Dude" And puts his iPhone down, and says, Let's see where you are going to go... Now, I have your Facebook, Instagram, What's Up, Twitter account in front of me, let's go through it, shall we?" And just then, The screen has all the social media up on the Screen behind St.Peter, and for the guy to see.
The guy tries to protest his rights for Privacy, and how he thinks this is just ludicrous that he would have to stand in line for "This"... and pointing at the screen, protesting. Saint Peter, really calmly is saying, "Dude, you'll be here a lot longer, everyone has to go through this"
So, Saint Peter says, "On Easter Sunday, noon, you posted on Instagram a cute bunny with 'Happy Easter, Jesus is the Reason for the Season', that is nice and cute, but then you posted a scripture at 12:30 in the afternoon on Facebook, with a picture of your family. When was church? weren't you supposed to be teaching Sunday School on that day?"
But, the guy make up for it on Wednesday when the guy posted that your family and yourself had a good Sunday at church, on Easter Sunday, so most likely the guy were on his phone at church, giving the benefit of the doubt. But, the following Friday, the guy posted a very rude comment on a news media about a celebrity, and that wasn't Christian- like Material, but on Saturday, he posted on his profile something about saving the world, so it cancels out the rude comment. Thus the Judging continues, and then, Saint Peter says, "Wait, I have to do another selfie, on Heaven's Sake's Twitter Account, to keep up the criteria". Irritated the guy relents because he really has no control over it, and he is used to it by this moment. Just as Saint Peter is done, Jesus walks in from behind with his latest iPad, and iPad Pro, 12 inches, with 256 GB and another 100 GB of iCloud storage. Jesus comes from behind St. Peter, and people in line are all, "Yeah Jesus! " and Jesus is all, "wait wait, I have to get a selfie with my homies" (Jesus is of course Middle Eastern) And he takes pictures on his iPad with St. Peter, and they are totally buddy buddy, and the guy is beside himself, when Jesus says, yeah, ( the guy) an Apple user, but, you are going to hell because you didn't post anything about helping any refugees, and didn't help with the needy and poor, but just posted a lot of political mumbo- jumbo. He also got points docked for claiming to be a devout Christian but, "Liked" and "Re-Tweeted" several anti-Gay rhetoric, viewed porn and was holding an extramarital affair, while claiming to be Christian. But, was given credits for being Anti- North Korean (government) and highly critical of global waste. 

I know it is silly and highly politically charged, but, I think a lot of it funny, and good satire. I think it would make a funny skit, but probably has been written before. This is my rendition of what it would be  like if I were a writer. 
  

The Big Win

I am writing in green because I won money! 
Before I went on my excursion to Valley of Fire, and after my excursion to Cabo, I took a side trip to Vegas, and went on a sub-side trip to Laughlin, Nevada. I stayed with my parents in a little hotel room, and instantly realized I was the youngest person in the hotel. The Oak Ridge Boys were also staying there, and performing. My parents wanted to have a little date night, and so I told Long Rock that I would go to a slot and gamble for him, just for fun. I put 10.00 in the slot, and got to 50 cents. I ended up betting the last 50 cents and won 16.00! So I was on the way to taking my ticket to the cash cage, when I saw this slot machine with "Kronos" on it! I could not resist! I ended up putting the 16.00 ticket in the slot and lost it all. I was upset and felt like I could not go back to the room not have won and given up all my winnings (the 6.00 I won!) So, I put in a dollar. I won 37.00!!! So, I put in another dollar and won and 30.00! I won a total of 67.00! I took my two tickets to the cash cage, they gave me the 67.00 and I did not play again... So, I would say I won a total of 57.00 because of the 10.00 I lost... This is my Big Win... I hope Long Rock would like to play the penny slots with me one time. It'd be fun! 
(Wendover, Vegas, Mesquite? What do you say, Long Rock?)

The Renal Failure Diet

I have one kidney. I was born with two. When I was 13, my mom and I were in a pretty bad car accident. 

 Since then, I have been really careful with my kidney. Well, I try to be.  I have tried to avoid sports that would hurt or damage the only one I have. 

  I drink a lot of water. In fact I drink probably more water than the average person. I do this because if I don't, my kidney hurts, and if feels really hard. It means it's dehydrated. 
The first part of January I had a virus that was really painful terrible. From this virus, I got pretty dehydrated and steadily, my kidney kept hurting me. Now, let me back up a couple months ago. I decided I wanted to make some life changes and get some vitamins. The vitamins are excellent and I was taking them as directed on the bottle. I thought that taking them was a healthy choice for me. 
One type of vitamins are called Greens. Greens are a powder mixed with water or put in your smoothie. If you buy the right kind, it is great! It is 100% foods (like kale, dandelion, minerals, etc etc.) 
Another I was taking are potassium supplements. I have been having a hard time getting my kidney to function last summer when I took a fall. My Dr. told me to take potassium because he prescribed me a a "water pill" to help me out with my lack of urine out take and my water retention because of my kidney. (Always check with your Dr. in any health issue, readers. I am just sharing my experience. Everyone is different and your Dr. will help you with what is best for you)
I also was taking a supplement called "Hair, Skin,Nails" by a company I want to review later. 
I was taking Daily vitamins, and another to help me with burning fat, called Thermo by the same company.  
And then of course Vitamin D3. 
I was feeling O.K. and I was trying to catch up on my energy levels. But, I got that virus and just felt so sick. I had been feeling sick off and on since June anyway. So, I felt like these vitamins will boost my energy, get me healthy and boost my immune. 
I started feeling so sick, and what is worse, I hadn't urinated for more than two weeks and my skin was feeling tight. Indeed I was so sick! My kidney wasn't/ isn't functioning properly. 
I decided to do some investigation in what actually was in all the vitamins, and why did I feel so sick taking so many. 

Here is what I found out. 

Potassium: Potassium (a mineral) is an electrolyte found in your body that does important things for our heart. It helps the heart function, in keeping the heart beat in the correct rhythm. Potassium also aids nerve conduction and muscle contractions, among many other functions. Too little potassium is detrimental to one's health, however, too much can also harm kidneys. 

The Greens advertised that it raised the alkaline levels in your body. This is a huge fad right now, drinking "Smart Water", "Fiji Water", "Icelandic Water", etc etc. These waters raise your alkaline levels, and make you feel like you are supposed to drink it, because again, it is a fad. The Greens I was taking did raise my alkaline, and people were thinking that is just marvelous. Well, first you need to understand what alkaline is and the function and what it can do if you take too much. First of all, the alkaline diet is supposed to help maintain your ph blood levels. 
First of all, a ph level measures how much acid or alkaline something is. Those levels are throughout your body. A ph level of 0 is completely acid, and a ph level 14 is totally alkaline. your blood is slightly alkaline of 7.35 to 7.45. Your stomach ph level is about a 3.5 or below. The acid levels in your stomach help you to break down the food you eat. Your urine ph levels change, depending on what your eat and drink. This helps keep your blood ph levels stabilized. the fact of the matter is, nothing you eat will change the levels of your alkaline. Your body works to keep that level constant. There are many claims about the alkaline diet, but, eating lots of vegetables and good foods, will already help you lose weight and be healthy. Too much alkaline in the body causes confusion, cardiovascular problems, metabolic abnormalities, causes kidney damage, can make you dehydrated, etc, etc. In fact, Alkaline water is a total gimmick and is awful for your health. 

Phosphorus is a common ingredient in the Greens, alkaline waters, and vitamins. Phosphorus is abundant in the body, second to calcium. Both calcium and phosphorus work together for bone and teeth strength. Too much of it, in kidney function actually breaks your teeth, bones, and isn't good for kidney function when you have kidney problems. 

I decided to look into what I could do to help my kidney. I was feeling awful, gaining water weight, and just plain miserable. I found that I needed to put myself on the Renal Failure Diet. I called my Doctor, and told him about what had been happening and he was very pleased that I decided to go on this diet.  
So, what is the renal failure diet?
It's a very difficult diet for those who like sugar, salt, and breads (starches). I first stopped taking vitamins, and my Dr said, "You can get all the vitamins you need by eating the proper foods." This is true. I then stopped eating foods with high potassium, starch, sodium, no water with alkaline, (so, my fellow one kidney readers out there, no water that is fancy, no water with minerals in it. just plain cheap bottled water is healthier for you!) Next, I started tracking calories, fat, protein, carbohydrates. Fat is important to have in your diet, if it is unsaturated fat. Unsaturated fat helps lower your cholesterol. Again, too much fat is not good for you, so it is all about moderation. I still go to the gym, but, I am walking right now in a pace that is good for me, and 6.7 miles a day is really good. I am still really  tired. But, I am gradually feeling better. I know what to eat, and I went on the American Kidney Association, and a couple of other web pages that were written by Doctors specifically focus on Kidney health, and I feel better. When my kidney isn't working well, I am so tired and I feel sluggish. But, I don't over do it on the treadmill either. There is a balance in everything and must be. Right now for me, I am eating vegetables that are good for the kidney. I am eating berries, and even watch what fruits I eat. The first week was hard. Now it has been about 12 days. It has been more easy. I ate a sugary cinnamon roll, and it was not working well for me. I threw up because my kidney could not handle it. I have been able to urinate average of 1-2 times a day, which still isn't much, but it will get better. I will post another thing that has been helping me with my kidney. It's a couple of teas. That is my next post.