Kurt Seyit ve Şura

I am not a person that typically likes watching Soap Operas, and the night dramas  I do enjoy are usually The Blacklist, and Bates Motel. However, I am watching Kurt Seyit ve Şura, and I really recommend this particular series. 
Kurt Seyit (Seyit the Wolf and Shura) is based on a book that is in a three set series, written by Nermin Bezmen. Nermin Bezmen is a Turkish woman, born in 1954. She wrote 15 books, and three of her books were about Seyit the Wolf, who is a Crimean Turk, set in the early 1900's right before WWI and in the Russian Revolution, following Seyit's life from being raised in the Crimean region, getting called off to fight in the WWI, dragged to Istanbul, and in the meantime falling deeply in love with a Russian Noble woman. He has to fight in the War, while trying to make his parents (Land owners who are Crimean Turks) happy, as they want him to marry a Turk, and not a Russian. At the meantime, the one he loves is a noble woman and is expected to marry a Russian noble man. 
The series takes place in Petrograd, Russia (Saint Petersburg, Russia), The Crimean region, and Istanbul, Turkey. After some internet searching, and reading some News from Turkey, I found that the TV Series is filmed in ST Petersburg, Bulgaria, Ukraine, and Istanbul. (Which makes sense because the region of the Black Sea I saw, and what Annanne had said to me about where she lived, looked very familiar.) The scenery is beautiful, and the costumes are true to the times, and I think (imho) that, the producers tried to create to best of their knowledge what was happening in the times with the people and the tensions between the Turks and the Russians, and they did a really good job in portraying the tumultuous times in the region. The author, Nermin Bezmen, from what I am reading about, wrote this story about her great grandfather, Seyid The Wolf Eminof, who, to escape death, snuck into Turkey, giving weapons to the General Kemal Atatürk, and  in return Kemal helped him. He was such a great fighter, and well known on both sides of the war for his greatness. Nermin Bezmen wrote the story of her great grandfather and great grandmother with details of the war times, and also as their great love for each other. 
Kurt Seyit and Shura are on Netflix right now. 
The cast are all Turkish, and there are English Subtitles. 

A Skit I Have Been Thinking Of

About 6 months ago, I saw a conversation that inspired a skit I thought of and I thought it was really funny. I want to post it before it becomes taken by someone else. 

A guy dies, and is met at the pearly gates with two lines. 
One is "Apple" and the other is "Android". It is all cloudy and happy and clean looking. Saint Paul is helping the Android laine and Saint Peter is in the Apple lane. So, the person is an Apple user, and, Saint Peter is on his Mac Pro, with faster speed putting the people in the places they need to go, because, you know, Apple is better. (Hahaha) 
Well, the guy gets to Saint Peter, and Saint Peter is "busy" typing away on the Mac Pro, and looks up and doesn't stop typing, and he said, "I am in the middle of a blog right now, let me finish this sentence before I save it." The Guy is irritated, and says, "But, I have been standing in line for a long long time". and Saint Peter says, "Well, you think you're going somewhere anytime soon? HAHAHAHA". The guy shakes his head, in disbelief, and really irritated, but what can he do? Saint Peter is in charge of the lane. He gets done after a couple of seconds, and says, "Will the person next in line come approach my desk?" The desk is more of a Judge's Bench, huge, made of mahogany, and super tall, taller than an average human, but there is clouds all around, and behind Saint Peter is a screen, that isn't noticed before. It's all clouds and pretty scenes and looks like a picture, but when looking at it more carefully, It's a huge screen. The guy  approaches the judge's bench, and as he comes forward, Saint Peter says, "Wait, wait, I need a selfie of this, Hollaaaaaa!" and Twitters, "Front Desk of Heaven, Selfie, Hashtag Whatsup, Hashtag Holla, Hashtag Dude" And puts his iPhone down, and says, Let's see where you are going to go... Now, I have your Facebook, Instagram, What's Up, Twitter account in front of me, let's go through it, shall we?" And just then, The screen has all the social media up on the Screen behind St.Peter, and for the guy to see.
The guy tries to protest his rights for Privacy, and how he thinks this is just ludicrous that he would have to stand in line for "This"... and pointing at the screen, protesting. Saint Peter, really calmly is saying, "Dude, you'll be here a lot longer, everyone has to go through this"
So, Saint Peter says, "On Easter Sunday, noon, you posted on Instagram a cute bunny with 'Happy Easter, Jesus is the Reason for the Season', that is nice and cute, but then you posted a scripture at 12:30 in the afternoon on Facebook, with a picture of your family. When was church? weren't you supposed to be teaching Sunday School on that day?"
But, the guy make up for it on Wednesday when the guy posted that your family and yourself had a good Sunday at church, on Easter Sunday, so most likely the guy were on his phone at church, giving the benefit of the doubt. But, the following Friday, the guy posted a very rude comment on a news media about a celebrity, and that wasn't Christian- like Material, but on Saturday, he posted on his profile something about saving the world, so it cancels out the rude comment. Thus the Judging continues, and then, Saint Peter says, "Wait, I have to do another selfie, on Heaven's Sake's Twitter Account, to keep up the criteria". Irritated the guy relents because he really has no control over it, and he is used to it by this moment. Just as Saint Peter is done, Jesus walks in from behind with his latest iPad, and iPad Pro, 12 inches, with 256 GB and another 100 GB of iCloud storage. Jesus comes from behind St. Peter, and people in line are all, "Yeah Jesus! " and Jesus is all, "wait wait, I have to get a selfie with my homies" (Jesus is of course Middle Eastern) And he takes pictures on his iPad with St. Peter, and they are totally buddy buddy, and the guy is beside himself, when Jesus says, yeah, ( the guy) an Apple user, but, you are going to hell because you didn't post anything about helping any refugees, and didn't help with the needy and poor, but just posted a lot of political mumbo- jumbo. He also got points docked for claiming to be a devout Christian but, "Liked" and "Re-Tweeted" several anti-Gay rhetoric, viewed porn and was holding an extramarital affair, while claiming to be Christian. But, was given credits for being Anti- North Korean (government) and highly critical of global waste. 

I know it is silly and highly politically charged, but, I think a lot of it funny, and good satire. I think it would make a funny skit, but probably has been written before. This is my rendition of what it would be  like if I were a writer. 
  

The Valley of Fire

Outside the small city of Overton, Nevada, and just about 50 miles Northeast of Las Vegas there lies a beautiful little gem of a state park. It is called The Valley of Fire. It is 45,000 acres of pure Desert Beauty! The easiest way to get there from Vegas is by car, and this park you pay by the vehicle. If you are a Nevada State Resident, you will pay 8.00 a vehicle. If you are an out of state resident, you will pay ten. If you are in a large group, Reservations are 25$ per reservations, plus per vehicle rate. Camping is allowed, only in designated areas, and by sunset, you are supposed to be in your camp sites, and not roaming parts of the park, or it is considered trespassing. 
I paid 8$ and it was worth every penny. 
I entered from the West Entrance, and from there, stopped at the Beehives, which looks like Beehives. I couldn't stay long, because I was wanting to get to the petroglyphs. So, I got out of my car, snapped a couple photos, and then stopped by the Petrified Logs to get another photo of one. I then hopped into my car, went by the Visitors Center, and drove a little bit up the road from there to "Mouse Tank". Although there seemed to be many cars upon arrival, I didn't feel over crowded with people when I got there. I really loved that, actually. I was at Mouse Tank for 4 hours, and I feel like I still didn't see everything. I am sure I didn't see all the petroglyphs, and this is why I want to go back. Next time, I will bring the Long Rock with me. He will love it there. 
The petroglyphs is believed to have been there for over 2,000 years. Archeologists have speculated the meanings of the petroglyphs. The petroglyphs are believed to be Pueblo (Anasazi) to Pre-Pueblo. It is said that the petroglyphs are stories or maps, and even speculated that this region of people were probably on an altered state of mind while making the drawings, because the glyphs appear to have more of a shayman quality. The other difficulty in interpreting the glyphs in this region is the reason being that Paiutes of the area don't really know what they mean, either, and the Anasazi have remained a mystery. 
 Mouse Tank, also known as Petroglyph Canyon, is where you can find a lot of glyphs in Valley of  Fire, and, I wanted to see this for myself.  Mouse Tank is named for a natural basin that fills up with water from the rain that is collected throughout the year. Mouse Tank is a half mile trail, both ways, from the parking area. Mouse Tank is also named after a renegade Native American who was a Southern Paiute. He used the Valley of Fire as a hideout in the 1890's after he was accused of killing two prospectors and some other crimes he committed in the region. (His name was actually Little Mouse). 
Here, in this little ravine of rock formations, are so many petroglyphs. I will be bold in saying that the petroglyphs are not confined in just Petroglyph Canyon (aka Mouse tank), but, I think they're all over Valley of Fire, and there is another place called Atlatl Rock that is quite remarkable, however, I didn't get there. 
So, I saw people come and go while I was in the canyon. As I mentioned, I was there for four hours, although the canyon is 1/4 of a mile, I hiked around, went up and down and didn't stay on the path, and felt like I could have stayed there for hours more, and still have found more petroglyphs. As I looked and looked and walked more than 2.8 miles in the 1/4 mile canyon, and 14 floors of stairs, I wondered if all the people who go there actually see everything, or if they just see the main maybe three or four that are in plain sight. If you aren't paying attention, you can very easily miss them. It was amazing. In fact, I was snapping photos and didn't even realize until I got home and zoomed in, that there were parts of the walls of the canyon that had writings on them... It made me definitely want to go back and bring a really good camera with me, and hike around more. In fact, I would love to stay in the park to get as much hiking, camping time as possible. upon my return and reading more about this beautiful region. I live in quite a remarkable area, and I found there are places to see more Petroglyphs. I am marking up my map of places to go and things to do and see!  
I look forward to writing more about this topic and can't wait to get some more time to go, see, do!

To my French Readers

Please forgive me for neglecting you. 
I did not mean to. I have been so full of sadness, it did not mean I forgot you, I just have been wrapped up in my cocoon. 

I heard about France, and am shattered that once again, the beautiful country of France has been again, hurt by attackers who are cowards, and ruthless. I wish I could wrap my arms around all the people of the world who are suffering and make all the horrible terrorists and murderers get on a rocket ship and shoot them out to the sun. Sadly, I can not. What I can do is tell you that there are people that love you, France. There are people that are with you, my dear French readers, and you are not forgotten even if the world seems cold and filled with darkness. We love you, beautiful France.

Love and Hugs to all Citizens of Everywhere who are in pain. 

Now That Britian Is Gone...

Well, the people voted about 4 days ago. Britian is out of the E.U. (is anyone shocked about this? I had been thinking for years they'd leave. I didn't know it would take so long, so I am not in any shock.)

Britian consists of the countries England, Wales,Scotland, and Northern Ireland. (Gibraltar as well, who also voted in the referendum, and is under British Rule) 

For those of you who don't know, Britian's people have voted to leave the E.U. It was a really tight vote, with 48.11% of all votes were to Remain in the EU, and 51.89% of those who voted, wanted Britian to leave. This is not the first time they've voted whether or not to stay. 

 The people who wanted to the E.U. said that the E.U. had a Democratic Deficit and being of member of the E.U. underminded the national sovereinty. 
By Leaving the E.U. is would allow Britian to make their better control and make their own decisions on immigration, making less pressure for Brits to find their own jobs within Britian, not have to cover costs to public services such as housing. 
The other agrument was that Britian would save billions of pounds in membership fees, allow Britian to make their own trade deals, and free up the U. K. (United Kingdom, Britian) from E.U. regulations and bureaucracy they felt were needless and costly. 

Those who were voting to remain in the E.U. argued that with the many supranational organizations the E.U. has, any sovereinty loss was compensated by the benefit of being a member of the EU. 
They said leaving the EU would diminish it's influenece over world affairs, jepordize national security for losing the access to the EU's database on criminals entering into the U.K. 
Leaving the EU would risk U.K.'s prosperity, and will result in trade barriers between the EU and the UK,and this will result in job losses, and other delays in investments in the UK, and putting businesses at risk as well. 

The Financial Markets had a severe reaction to the referendum. Investors lost more than 2 trillion United States Dollars on the 24th of June. This make is the worst single day loss in history. Another effect was the fall of the British Pound, dropping to a 31 year low. 

Right after the referendum, internal fights within the governing Conservative Party. Immediately after the results were released, the Prime Minister of six years, David Cameron announced he would resign due to his side having lost the referendum. The Labor Party, because of the results of the referndum, will have many challenges to face in the next few months or weeks. 

On the 24th of June 2016, the Scottish Government announced the officials would plan for a "highly likely" second referendum on independence from the United Kingdom inrepsonse to the result, and they will start discussions with the EU institutions and other members, on how the Scottish Government would be able to ensure their membership protetion in the EU.

So, I ask who is next? There are several countries that are already talking about having thier own referendum. 

Since I was about to post this yesterday, I have found out that the EU is going to be very harsh on teh United Kingdom for leaving and are considering making it more difficult to allow others to leave it. (Wow... I feel bad for those countries who want to leave... That is NOT Cool EU not cool at all)  

Voting 2016

So, I normally don't use this blog as a platform for America's Political Campaign, however, I must say something. 

There is not one person worthy of a vote. I propose, if you are a wise American, you must know to write in a Vote. I am following suit with many Senators, and other wise Political Leaders, and writing in my vote. 

So, I say write in your vote. You can write in anything you want. Heck, put your pet's name on the ballot! But, Please, vote and just write in the person you will hope to become president. (I for one think my grandkids will make a better President) You'll be surprized what will happen. 

Peace, All!

Head Injuries through My Observation

Dear Readers;

     About three months ago I was in an accident at work. I was getting juice out of a trunk style deep freezer, and the door slammed on my left side of my head. I do not remember much of what happened after that, I do remember the following

  I was in deep pain when it hit my head, because there was a metal lock poking out of the door. This part hit my head. 
I notified my boss within five minutes after it slammed on my head, telling her I have severe pain. 
I went home that night with increasing pain
I know I went to work the next day, and I don't remember much of that day. It was on a Thursday, and it was Saint Patrick's Day, and I know I spoke with my with my family because it was my granddaughter's birthday.
I know Friday, the 18th was my day off, and I went to the Dr on that day because I thought I might have had a concussion. 

I was diagnosed with a concussion on the 18th of March. 
I continued to work until the night of the 22nd of March. It was becoming too much for me to work, and so I started getting Dr. notes saying I could not work. I got a note from my job saying I needed a note from the Dr saying tha tI needed a note to come back to work. 
On the 23rd, my pain was so bad, and I realized I could not get my words out properly. I started stuttering on the 22nd but it got worse on the 23rd. I went to the ER because I was told by my Physician that their C.T. Scan machine was closed, and I needed a C.T. Scan. And so, I went to the E.R. as directed from my Physician. 
At the E.R. I was diagnosed with Post Concussive Syndrome. (P.C.S.) I found that of all the reported concussions, 15% of those people suffer from P.C.S., and of those 15% with P.C.S. only 1% suffer from the speech and severity I have. So, in essence, I won the Lottery. I just won the WRONG Lottery.. (Yes, that was meant to be funny.) 

I have in the past, as a child, had some things that have probably perpetuated my stuttering. I did indeed have a small stutter problem. It was more profound when I was away from my mom, but as I got to the age of 10, I taught myself how to not stutter because I sat and watched a documentary on the B.Y.U. channel about kids who stutter. I was excited with this information, and asked my dad to bring home a book from the B.Y.U. Library (He was a professor in the Psychology Department). My dad did bring a book home and I began to teach myself how to not stutter. With just a few techniques, I was able to hide my stuttering and I was able to keep it under control. Every once in a while, it would resurface. The times it would come to light was under emotional times: If I was upset, annoyed, angry, frustrated, extremely happy or excited... Those times it would resurface, and I would have to go back to the techniques. In no certain circumstances did I ever recieve help from friends to get my stuttering in check. I want that point  to be clear. 

As I got older and started having kids on my own, that is when mystuttering was tried to the very intense extreme. But even then I was able to keep it in check with humor, and I knew my kids were just trying to see how far they could get me to stutter. (Regular kids stuff) 

Now, back to my injury. 
I have noticed there are a couple of people I know personally, who to no fault of their own, are continually focused or even hyper focused on my stuttering. In fact, they are insistant that I need to be cured of my stuttering and right away! It is as if I have some good wishers who really think I just turn off the stutter. Even, has gone as far as said that "Well, you know the techniques from before, you can use those techniques now!" 
I just want to say to all my readers who know someone with P.C.S. or Traumatic Brian Injury (T.B.I.) a few things I have discovered about myself, and I think some of these feeling apply to those with T.B.I. 

We are the same person in our brain

We feel like in our head, we can do everything we could do before the trauma to our head occured. We just can't execute what we feel, think, understand sometimes. We are in there. We can not get us out. We wake up every morning with either no sleep, lacking sleep or rested completely thinking, today is it! We can do everything we could do before. But, when we get out of bed, and start on our day, we realize, we aren't 100% the way we were. And we are saddened, frustrated, and begin to doubt ourself because we don't feel normal but we are the same person, yet, not. 

We are frustrated

It is frustrating being our normal self and literally the next day or within hours of our head trauma, we are not. It is more than frustrating. It makes us want to scream, cry, hit a pillow. We want to be our before-the- accident- selves! We want that so badly. We know we are as I said, the same inside, and yet, different because of hte head trauma, and it is frustrating. We still  look like the same person. When we talk to others or others talk to us, we may even sound like the same person... (exception of severe cases like my stuttering, but most people don't have that) So, we get more frustrating because people don't understand what we are trying to get out of our heads. We end up shutting down and going to our own reclusive place because we are so frustrated and we feel like people say "I understand" but they really don't. 

The trauma to our head wears us down

Think of this: Mind, Body, Soul. All connceting together with the world around us. Everything spins in perfect order. There is a balance in all things. Then we get T.B.I. and it changes everything. How? Our brain is connceted in every function of our organs. From the way we breathe, to the way our kidneys function, and every sense we have, we are told what they our from our brain. We smell chocolate chip cookies in the oven baking, our brain says that is what they are. We read words and know what they are, because our brain tells us what they are. We have an itch, we scratch because our brain says "I have an itch" we don't notice that our brain controls our breathing, when we blink, everything is controlled by our brain. So, a person gets T.B.I. and it's game change and all the sudden we are thrown completely off balance. We can not think clearly sometimes, emotionally we can't handle it, not because we aren't able to but our brain is over stimulated. Light kills our head, we hear ringing in our ears, we feel the ground shake when it isn't shaking. (Yes, that happens to me often) We sometimes can't smell the same we used to. Because of the smell, things we used to love doesn't taste well. (I taste blood and metal: try to find something appetizing with blood and metal) Cucumbers now taste like rotting dead fish. I LOVE CUCUMBERS (yes, i cried.) So, this wears us mentally, psychologically, emotionally, and yes, our spirit feels broken sometimes because sometimes people just don't understand that about us. 

We want to get better

Sometimes I have heard of me, that I use my T.B.I. as an excuse or a crutch. I think the thing is here, is that people who knew me before and now, just don't really understand what T.B.I. is. They don't realize that it can be pretty serious, and that people can heal fromo it, but sometimes it takes a year, sometimes three years, and sometimes three months. Neurologists don't know when someone heals, and why it varies from patient to patient. Most people with concussions with in a couple days after the head blow, they are fine. Football players (American Football, my readers), are one of hte highest risks of getting T.B.I. and it is rather ignored in High School or Grade School, about the risks. You know parents, when you sign that form before your son plays American Football, the fine print might have a warning of T.B.I. and that is a risk you are willing to give your child. Other sports are Boxing, Wrestling... Actually let's save time. Any or ALL contact sports. And then there are other things. The more concussions you get the higher risk of T.B.I. My grandpa was a Pro Boxer and won many boxing matches. My grandpa also got lots of blows to the head. He did in fact get Alzheimers. The Doctors now  directly relate Alzheimers, and many other Neurological prpoblems with many concussions and even T.B.I., in some cases. This doesn't mean that you will get it, but your risk of many demenetia and other problems can be the cause of T.B.I. Us people with T.B.I. want to get better. We don't want the frustrations and the stress, we want to get better. 

Memory loss is very common with TBI

I've got an excellent memory. I never had a problem with my memory. I have to write everything down, and I write the most important things on a mirror with a Dry Erase Marker. for me, this is the easiest way to remember. There might be other ways for my readers to remember. I have tried using my smart phone to do the helping me. I am old fashioned. I have to write it with my hand to remember better. But, that is me. Some of my readers might have to type it in their notes in their smart phone. I use my smart phone for other things, like how to get home, in case I forget, which can happen. I also use an alarm to remind me to drink water (recall, I have no hunger, thirst, nor full feelings, at least, my brain can't tell me those things, right now). So, it is frustrating for both the person who has TBI and those family members that say over and over... OK you need to be here at this time this place, and it is very possible too much information that they are taking in their brain, cannot allow them to compute so many things at one time. I once had a conversation on my messaging with my mom, my sister, a friend, and two of my daughters, all at the same time. In a normal situation, I can multi-task, and answer everyone all at once without skipping a beat. I have noticed that This is not the case. I got so frustrated, I became incoherent to everyone I was talking with, and no one unerstood me, nor did I know what to think or say. I was coherent to myself! I had to stop, write everyone, I was having a moment of not undderstanding everyone, and I was confused. I asked each one of my conversations to please give me a minute to gather my thoughts. All the while I was crying because it was so much, I could not understand why I felt overwhelmed, and I felt just exhausted. My mom, friend, mom and sister understood. I focused on one person at a time and was able to pull myself through it. Everyone is different like I said. Maybe some poeple with TBI can function better than me, or some not as well as I (I don't think I am fuctioning that well, but I am trying). So, I ask to please be paitent with your loved one if the person is suffering through the TBI. It is sensory overload sometimes, and it is easier to get through those times when there is patience involved, which is the hardest part of all this, Patience. But is works, for me. 


Stuttering or speech problems 

As I stated earlier, my stutter is directly relation to the P.C.S.  
People who have T.B.I. and have a speech problem relation to the injury, have to have different Speech therapy than that of a person who has an impediment from a Psychological issue. Also, it is good to note that the metal lock did not split my head open. It is a closed head injury. They are treated in speech therapy than those who are suffering with TBI who say, have suffered an open head injury (a bullet in the head for example) There are many other varibles, such as nerve damage and where it is, what nerves are damaged, the list goes on. So, that is where speech pathologists come in. They can acertain how to approach the therapy. Sometimes if it is too severe, the speech may not return to normal. I say this because I get many comments from well wishers, "You taught yourself before, come on! Just say it!" This is never helpful. Because I stutter one word in one sentence, and the next sentence I can say it better, it's not because I don't know when to not stutter. It means the word before or the word after doesn't roll or flow off my tongue easily. In fact, it is really hard for me to use words together one syllable or three. Also, no, I can not sing, and please don't ask me to. I miss singing, I miss talking, it was my livelyhood (I translated for a Turkish boy from English to Turkish and vice vera) I can not get my English words out. Turkish is more flowing because it is a medolic language and English is a gutteral language, and so I can speak Turkish Ok, but it is in another part of my brain, too because it isn't my first language. It might be different for someone else in all of this blog. Everyone is different and every symptom is different to a TBI. 

In any casse, I hope this helps someone out there either suffering with a TBI or you're reading this because you have a loved one with a TBI. If you have an questions directed to me about my condition, or want to know more of how this is all coming to place for me, you can certainly leave a comment below, I will answer you based on what I am going through, which hopefully can help you in return. 

Peace Everyone! 

More Misconceptions About Turkey

I have been thinking about this a lot. 
 Us Americans and how we feel the world views us. But how the world really looks at us. 
 We are not a perfect people. I think that collectively, we are honest, good and want the best for our children and we want to just live in peace. That is what I think. 
 However, there are extreme all over the world. I think that us as Americans, one of the things we did not do well was study other people better. I have several friends that have never been outside the state that they live in or they were born in and some that have never been outside America. 
 When I travel to another country, I study the land, the history, the culture and read as much as I can. Then, I go, not wanting to be an elitist traveler but one of a curious mind. This way I can see the world in my eyes but hopefully see it through the eyes of others. 
  The news is not a good place to read about the real things that are happening in the country. 
I have been reading articles on Al Jazeera English but started to delete them because I discovered that although I wanted to read about what was happening in the world, they were writing opinions and not NEWS. opinions are just diatribes of somethings, for example when I have a tangent on something. That is not news. It is just a tangent. 
  HOWEVER...   I loved watching their under cover reports about the Slaves- For- Wife problem in India. to me, that is news because it was real and on camera. It was not opinion it was fact. 
  Now, with this said, There is a lot of talk about Iran and Turkey being buddy buddy. 

Let me clear something up for you Americans that read my blog. And let me also give you a challenge. 

First of all the Challenge. 

Please ask me or people here in Turkey what is really going on. Not once do people ask me anything about my life as an American nor my life living in other places, not anything. But then, that is fine. However, people are reading the "News" when really please look carefully to see if it is news or just opinion. 

Second: The clearing up bit. 

Since right after WWI Turkey and America has had their ups and downs as far as friendship is concerned. 
 In WWI the Ottoman Empire was still here in Turkey. The Lat Emperor to Rule Officially was a man named Abdul Mecid II.  Of course there are recognized descendants but we are talking about the man who was in power when Kemal Ataturk became the President and made Turkey an Independent Country.  
 Well, us Americans are all for a monarchy dissolving. (hehe) 
 Turkey has a very very unique position and a very important one in the world. I believe that Turkey has far greater use to us Americans than we give them credit for and we should be working hand in hand in their great efforts in trying to make the gap between America and the world a smaller one and a more peaceable one. 
 Let's look at this, or consider this. 
For a few minutes  do not think about Turkey being friends with Iran. Because you will see that Turkey is friends with America too!


Turkey is literally a country where East and West meets. Turkey is the beginning or the ending of the old famous and ever needful Silk Road, which is used in part today that helps the smaller countries in the Far East connect to the outside world and parts of Central Asia. Also, when I say literally, I mean it because Turkey is the only country in the world that sits on two continents and they are both huge and vast. Turkey sits on Asia and Europe. It is the only EurAsian country. Period. 
 With this in mind, please reader, think of all the countries East of Turkey. Those countries were once part of this now smaller but great nation of Turkey. So, who better can we learn from than to get the view points of  the world today in those regions than to talk to those leaders but also to get opinions from that of the  Political opinions of Turkey. 
 Turkey wants to just be friends with everyone, although they have been given a lot of bad flack lately. 
Turks are proud people but I do not mean that in a negative proud way. They are hard working and try their hardest to just do with what they have. 
 Turkey is not with out flaws, but Turkey has had our backs since after WWI. Thy did not want to go to war in WWII but we did not either. They helped hundreds of thousands of victims of Genocide. Jews, Bulgarians, The Former Yugoslavia States. They do not have a lot of Jews here but that is because many Jews after WWII were able to go to USA but there are many that stayed. I know of several Jewish Synagogues in Turkey. 
  Turkey and Iran. Turkey is on the border with Iran. However, we Americans have an Air Force base here and we are getting another base here closer to the Iranian border. 
 Turkey was trying and has a lot of oil and natural gas here but the land it is in is Turkey but Armenia is whining about it and so the project to get it has been halted.
 Turkey has been working with American Government and proactive in trying to defeat the PKK (a well known Terrorist group in the Eastern part of Turkey)
Turkey helped American troops in Afghanistan, Iraq, and even Korean War. 
 The Turkish people need more modern technology and they need it done in a cheaper way. They want it.
Americans spend too much money in factories in China and India for building things and they should move their companies and jobs to Turkey. They would be higher quality, made in a better way faster, and it would not make the items more expensive. In return Turkish people would be able to benefit because there would not be the high cost of import fees which are more than double than anywhere in the world. Seriously.
Americans complain about the cost of Petrol. I would beg that our Petrol prices were that of America. Turkish people pay by the liter and it is more than double the price for one gallon. Americans would be outraged if they had to pay the prices of United Arab Emirates, Nigeria and Turkey. Not to mention anywhere else in teh world.
Turkish Citizens pay 50% taxes on their pay checks every month. That is the cost of Socialism.
Turkish Citizens that are working only get 2 weeks off a year. Period. Some will work 14-18 days before they get one day off. 
 The average worker in Turkey works 12 hours a day and get paid the equivalent of 300 USD a month. There are not any compensations for that either. 
Turkish people LOVE LOVE LOVE Family so very much and Family is the backbone of their life. 
Turkish people want to advance their knowledge, and are curious about the world they live in and other people and what others think of them. They are friendly and caring. 
Yes all over the world you will find in all places bad people, but they are good here. Just very hard working which give them more stress here than other places. 
 There are not a lot of books here and not a lot of libraries. Not a lot of people read for leisure. But people want to change that. 


Turks need to be given more credit for the good and not be thought of so negatively. 

Turkey has a lot of artifacts and antiquities and are doing everything they can to preserve their ancient History. People have come, excavated Turkish Lands and pillaged items by removing them and taking them to London, Egypt and Italy and even Greece. This is an atrocity in my opinion! Those things should be sent back to Turkey and in a honorable way! When Turkey, in 2005 asked the Queen of England to return some items because they deserved to be in the rightful land, she basically said no. She did paint the ceiling as though it was outside in a blue color and that was that. So, Queen of England... .You stink because your Ancestors Stole something and you refused to return it and make a bad thing the right thing. 

  Turkey's antiquities "Touristic Spots" rival anywhere in the world. 


Turkey has a strong strong Ancient Christian back ground and have a huge respect for the Virgin Mary and Jesus who is called Isa in Turkish. No, Muslims are not Christians but Turkish people are proof that you can live with other people and cultures side by side and still have respect and kindness for others and their way of life even if it is different then their own. Ancient Turkey was Roman Empire which was very strong here in Turkey.
  The Ottoman Empire has a bad wrap for killing Christians but Christians killed tons and millions of non-Christians. Even, they would pay for Crusades. What do you think Crusades were? They were simply leaving England, Spain, France, Portugal and Italy and even Germany and what??? Smoking the peace pipe with people who did not believe what they believed? 
The Ottoman Empire were great Conquerors but The Crusades were mean and nasty, so I get really tired when I hear about how wonderful other Monarchies were, and how "Bad" The other Empires were. That is just simply, nonsense. 


Well there is my soap box for the day. 
 Read wisely. Think more wise.
 

Announcing

Welcome Half Box J to the world of Blogging!!! 

ı am so excited that The Long Rock is joining the blogging world. Somethings he will write will be in Turkish and somethings in English. I am happy! We have the world of Blogging together now. 

I am excited.

Detoxing from FB II

So, I went on FB yesterday night for a total of 3 hours, but I was emailing JAsmyne back and forth and back and forth. I only looked at 3 updates and posted one thing on my wall...
Is that Detox? Am I in Denial that that is not FB?
Please do not answer that. I want you to lie to me and say... Yes Deej, You are doing great!
HAHA
I did however email Long Rock while he was at work. How I love him.
I spent more time with his mom and told her stories of how my mom tried dying my heair.
( I shall tell it one day)
I am downloading movies for Long Rock and I to watch while he is here and I need to excersize.
I miss Long Rock and Just people in USA.

Blogging about my Facebook Detox

So, a couple of nights ago, I just had it with Facebook.

  It is nothing about my Facebook friends, it is just... Tons of things and nothing at all..

To be sheer honest: I dislike Whitney Huston. I hate her voice. I never liked her. There it is. Send me hate mail. I do not like her voice to me it sounds like a cat screaming.  I have some friends on FB that one friend was seriously posting every 10 min about how much she was inspired by Whitney and how sad she is she died and carrying on. And On. And ON...  I was sick of reading about Whitney Huston on FB. That was a the straw on the Camel's Back for me. I know, Weird huh?

I found myself having a strong desire to say... I freaking do not care that Whitney Huston is dead, and I think that she is an idiot for doing drugs and I really never liked her voice. Then I thought... I better not say anything at all... 

Of course there were other reasons. 

I spent too much time there

I needed to do more things with my time

I have some projects that I need to finish

I need to be less on Facebook

How is it going?

Geeeee.... Not going as planned. 

This is my problem. I have friends and family (mainly Family... AKA Jasmyne, Connor and Beka)  on there that I have contact with only on Facebook. It is so stupid. I am sure if I were in USA no one would even notice I am there or not. It is not a pathetic Woe is me... It is a matter of fact that the sun will rise and set regardless if I am living in this realm or not. Ok. For my Dear Readers who LOVE everything I say, and I am your sun, moon and stars, You're right. When I stop blogging, or coming up with opinions, you will all wonder what happened. I am sure most of you wake up make your coffee and wonder "What did Deej Say last night?", instead of reading the morning paper, it i my blog. so ofr you people, yes your world will end when mine does. Well, so, I went on last night, normally I am on Facebook all day or seems like it. But, I went on last night to check Beka and Connor, see if they were coming on Skype. They came on skype when I went to bed of course... Ugh!

I am not doing well on the Detox. I have not gone on today. YAY. 

Wait lie.I have a friend that had a shoe crisis... Damn. I lied. 3 Hail Marys for me. 

I was going to...

I was going to shut off my Facebook and not say anything to anyone. 

 But I have family on there that the way I get in touch with them is through Facebook. 

What a dilemma. So, I wrote on my wall that I will be turning it off. 

 I just am sad lately and I am negative lately and I am tired of feeling this way so I thought I would tell my friends I am turning off Facebook. There is nothing bad, just, I want to refresh myself and not be so negative. I can not sleep all winter like Bears can, or I would. For me that would help. I think I have S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) For an explaination of S.A.D. read more here.

  I am so not myself in the winter. In Arizona in the Winter I would to get sun, lay on the Silver Roof. I would lay on a Silver blanket too. I was always tan.In The USA I had a job and would get winter blues feeling and so after work I would run to a tanning booth for 15 minutes to get sun. I never noticed that I had it because I would always make sure I had sun some how. This is my second year here in Turkey and the winters are different than in AZ and UT. 

  I love friends, but I just want to take a break from Facebook for a while and refresh myself. 

I wanted to give my friends a fair warning because I like them, I am not leaving forever, and I did not want them to think I have blocked them or think they have done something. 

 I will just go on to email Connor and Beka and tell them to come on skype, But I am not going to be on there like I used to. Not right now. I just want to be me again. happy Happy Me. 

 I think I will come back. I have to hibernate for a while. 

My mind is full

I have been a deep thinker all my life. Sometimes to a fault. Sometimes my thinking gets the best of me and other times it brings out the worst in me. 

 Either way, I have so many things in my mind. I feel like my brain is full. 

 My head hurts from all the thoughts swimming and the deep thinking. Literally. Hurts.

I have great ideas. 

I do not know how to fully articulate them always because it is too hard to put into words

I then get distracted easily and, I lose confidence in myself

I have about 100 things going on the same time. 

Does anyone feel or do the same? 

I can not focus sometimes and when I do, I feel like I have to do something else. 

Sometimes when I focus on one thing for very long, I feel like I had been drinking coffee and my mind is drained. 

I wish someone felt the same way I did and understands what is going on and can explain it to me in simple terms. 

Do I have Adult ADHD? Adult ADD?  Am I normal? Does everyone feel this way? 

I feel like I think so much, I get exhausted. Sometimes I sleep for days and other times I can not sleep at all. 

I mean, AT. ALL. 

No, I do not drink and no I do not take drugs. I drink lots of water, and I drink coffee sometimes. 

If I drink too much coffee I get a stomach ache and when I drink one cup, I get so sleepy. If I drink more than one I just want to sleep. 

I am also so so so tired in the winter time I can not stand it and in the summer time I am over bounding with energy. 

 IF I were an animal I would want to be an American Brown Grizzly Bear because they hibernate in the winter. And they are tough. And they can eat honey straight from the trees and the bee stingers do not hurt them. And they are wise. 

I feel restless now, and tired at the same time. 

It is 9 pm and I am going to bed now. The sky is black outside and it is cold. I feel warm and safe in my bed. 

Good night world

Even as a little baby I loved my bed. I would just hang out here. I felt safe and warm.

I had a Birthday Yesterday

I turned 43 yesterday. 43! I am kind of freaking out about it because I do not feel 43. 

  Well, Long Rock is 10 years younger than me and Seriously, reader, I act way younger than him. (No offense Long Rock. But I would still play in the sand piles in parks. You wouldn't) 

 Anyway... 

I do not want to get older. 

I remember being 5, and my Primary Teacher said that whatever you pray fro, God answers your prayers.

I asked God to keep me 5 forever. Maybe the answer to my prayer all this time was my heart stayed 5 years old while I grew up. 

I remember when I was 15 my mom and dad said "Oh, Dena you are growing up to be such a beautiful young lady." I seriously freaked out on them, "NOOOOO I am not NOT growing up" I hated the word mature. Who wants to be mature? Who WANTS to be older than they are?? I mean really? 

I have had quite a life. I have been to so many places, and again I will say, I do not want to grow up. 

My kids say that I look 25, and so on my Birthday they say "Happy Anniversary to being 25" that works for me. When I am a little older, they will in my Universe keep it how I like it. I am very lucky. 

 Yesterday the long rock and his family did everything they could to make me feel special on my birthday. 

My Turkish dad is very ill and I feel so sad because I want him better. But, for right now, I will have to say, The Long Rock and my Turkish family really did make me feel so happy. It has been really a horrible freeze outside and so we stayed inside to make us stay warm. I told the Long Rock I wanted to stay in my PJ and I wanted him to also. We did. It was fun! 

Well, that wraps it up for now. Loves.

My dream about two weeks ago

I was sleeping and I had a strange and real feeling dream that My daughter, Shahira wanted to talk to me but she couldn't because she kept everything inside and did not want to "bother" me.

I had this feeling that somethings or some people were giving her stress and sadness and she were crying and asking me for help

It was through a great white owl though.

She appeared in my dream as an owl because she did not want everyone to know that she was really sad.

She climbed a tree and in security cameras showed her as an owl, but I saw her as Shahira sitting in a tree and everyone around her saw her as a beautiful white owl

I told her to come to me and she flew to me in the form of the great white owl. I said,"Are you OK? and as the owl started crying with big owl eyed tears.

And I whispered, "Shahira," and she said,  "oh mom," and just sobbed in my arms., and she was suspended in a half world of  secrets and no one knowing anything about her or how she felt or thought but, I did.

I started crying because when I hugged her as an owl, I closed my eyes and I would see her and hear her as Shahira, and the owl said, "Look at my heart, mom please, feel my heart."

 I hugged this great white teary eyed owl and  I looked and she was so sad and lonely and she was crying and begging me to be with her.

The owl said, "Please, mom please," and I felt everything she felt but then as the human daughter, not the owl... I said,"Are you OK?" and she said, "I am ok."

 Well, her dad appeared as regular himself because he is not special like her (hehe) and he said, "Look at her hair, it is falling out."

I looked at her and saw the most beautiful being in the whole world, but I could not see any physical flaws

 You dad was getting annoyed with me and said, "Look!!! Look!!!" And I said : "She is beautiful!!! I am LOOKING!!!"

And she looked at me, and one tear rolled down her face, and  jumped out of a window, and I screamed and ran to the window, and we were in a palace. It had tall walls and over looked cliffs below and when she jumped there was no  way I would grab her, but, she turned into the  great white owl again and came back and said "No one sees me but you" and she gave me her one tear, that rolled down her cheek. It turned into a crystal.

She flew away really far away as an owl in a forest and sit alone in a big tree and sometimes she would have me visit but sometimes she would visit  me.

And when she would came back from time to time as Shahira, and I would say to her, "Please stay" and she said, "But it hurts too much"

And at this point of my dream, I woke up in a panic and really just crying in a broken hearted panic. I then wrote this dream down.

Is it real?

I do not know what it means. I do know, I have children I miss and deeply care for.

Wow

I am so excited. 
   My fiancee will be meeting my very good and very sweet friend, Eddie Afualo. Eddie is like a younger brother to me. Eddie is coming to Turkey in September. 
 YAY!!! I can not wait for The Long Rock to meet my very good friend. I am just thrilled. 
 We will be planning a lot of fun things. He will be there two weeks, and kısmet! The Long Rock will be off while he is coming! YAY!

It's been a long time

To be honest with you, I can not recall the last time I went to Silivri to meet Long rock, but I am sure it was before October, and sometime in September. I have not gone there for a number of reasons, and all now really do not matter why. 
 What matters is I am going today, and I hope to take a lot of pictures. 
 I really like this little city, but the long rock hates it but I think he does because I am not there. 
 The city air is cleaner there and it is a sea side city. It need some repairs, and I feel that the Mayor needs to clean it up a bit but I feel like it is a little gem of a city. It was an Ancient Greek City at one point, and there is an Ancient Castle there. I actually quite like the city. But as I said, the long rock does not. Anyway... I am going to see long rock today. I am very excited. 
 I have been depressed for a few months. I am sure it is situational Well, I can not say a few months, it has been about 2-3. I am the most happy when long rock comes home or I talk to my family, especially my kids on skype. 
 I was really down when I sat on skype and no one came on skype to talk to me. My kids were off doing other things, but I had other family members that did come on skype and I messaged them, but not one person talked to me. I really was sad. 
  I miss going to Silivri and visiting long rock because it breaks up the long long times I have to go with out seeing him. 
  I am going today. I will post pictures. 
 I can not wait to see him. 
 

Jack Nicholson, Baby

So some jerk off freaking Lucifer's monkey, Judas'  hacked into my email account and stole my contact list and wrote to my bank, and told my bank I am fake... Basically high jacked my bank account! 

  I really hate people like that and I hope they die a slow painful death. 

 I hope that some strange flesh eating bacteria starts slowly eating their skin and they have horrible diarrhea.

I hope their man thing falls off too. 

 I hate people that violate other people. 

I have been really sick for the last couple of days. So I have not been on here to  write a lot. I know you readers miss me something terrible. 

 I had a strange dream that Jack Nicholson was working in this factory, before he was an actor, and said, "Jensen, check your email." I woke up and did, wow. Maybe Jack Nicholson is my guardian angel?

  Stranger things are about to happen?

Have been thinking

I think I will take a few days off from blogging and reconnect with my soul. 

  It is nothing personal and there is nothing wrong. I just feel like I need to reconnect with myself right now. 

I wish I knew a good Art Supply Store here in Town. but so far I have not seen one. 

I need some art supplies for my creative side. 

See you guys. 

Well

I think the hardest part about living in Turkey is not being around my family. 

  I love my family a lot and I have to say I miss my family more and more everyday. 

 I get to talk to Connor and Beka about three times a week, but I think that not being able to see them on a regular basis is really getting me and them down. 

 On Christmas day we were able to talk for about three hours. I guess their dad decided that that was too long (say what??? Yeah! I know) and so he put a limit on their Parental Controls so they can only talk to me for so long now.  Sometimes I feel like what am I doing here? 

 I can't explain my feelings on this matter because they are so complex and hard to express. I normally am pretty good as expressing myself matter-of- fact and with out emotion, but something this deeply personal and emotional to me is very difficult to express.

  I think I will write more on the subject, I have to close this post for now.