Show you a picture of my broken toe.
It has been in pain for the last week now. I was standing in a 3 car garage and talking to my childhood friend (yes, in Eden)and Connor was playing with a skateboard. He was doing tricks and stuff on it and I was just about to tell him to not go near me with it because I have a fear of wheels around my feet (more like a phobia) and BAM! By accident the skateboard slipped from under Connor's feet and hit my left baby toe. I did not want to scream out in pain and I did not want to hurt his feeling so I whispered to Connor "Go out of the garage with that thing" and he was so sorry... I felt like I was going to die, the pain went up my leg and now it is weird looking. Baby toes are already weird looking. But now it is Uber Weird looking. It has not stopped hurting either...
If you break a toe, here is a site to help you::: ouch, my toe
It hurts terribly and it hurts to walk. As the site says you might get arthritis but you know, I have it already. does that mean it will be more in that toe? My toe hurts.
Monday, August 1, 2011
How to decide...
I have chosen gray because it fits my mood right now.
I came here to USA because I have been wanting to spend time with my family and while I was here I was looking for jobs. On the outside you can see pictures of me having fun with all my family. You will see me going boating a few times, seeing my close friends and hanging out with them. you will see pictures of me 4 wheeling in Wyoming and shopping in the Gateway Mall, Target, and Walmart. I love shopping even if it is just buying groceries. I gave gifts to my friends from Turkey and I love Turkey. I have family there.
But what you don't see are pictures of me saying good-bye to Shahira and Connor and Rebeka and pictures of me crying. You will never see a picture of me frustrated with not being able to find a job. You can not see a picture of me kicking myself for not getting a B.A. in ANYTHING just to be able to flip hamburgers (because you know, people that have a B.A. are better qualified than people with out one for flipping hamburgers at Mac D's). I am not asking for a job that I am not qualified in doing. that would be insane. I would be an idiot to try looking for a job in something I have no idea how to do. But I have been looking for a job.
I can stay here and gamble and risk the chance of getting a job in a couple of months. If I get a job, Snuggle can come to USA and we can marry here.
But, I can go to Turkey and marry Snuggle, find a new job or take the old job I had last year under the terms that I will get paid on time, the full amount the Head Master owes me and that I will not be taken advantage of. We can get married there. But we have to come to terms that I will be alone in Çorlu and Cute Bear will be in Silivri.
This is a hard decision for me. Either way, Bear and I will be together it is just a matter of how we will figure it out.
Snuggle Bear and I will be together just how will we work it out? Snuggle Bear wants to come to USA because he sees how happy I am. But I am happy with him too.
I guess I will have to continue to ponder this. It is really hard for me. I apologize to others with greater problems than I. I know there are people with much more terrible things and I am trying to not complain about my life. I am just thinking a lot and thinking out loud.
I came here to USA because I have been wanting to spend time with my family and while I was here I was looking for jobs. On the outside you can see pictures of me having fun with all my family. You will see me going boating a few times, seeing my close friends and hanging out with them. you will see pictures of me 4 wheeling in Wyoming and shopping in the Gateway Mall, Target, and Walmart. I love shopping even if it is just buying groceries. I gave gifts to my friends from Turkey and I love Turkey. I have family there.
But what you don't see are pictures of me saying good-bye to Shahira and Connor and Rebeka and pictures of me crying. You will never see a picture of me frustrated with not being able to find a job. You can not see a picture of me kicking myself for not getting a B.A. in ANYTHING just to be able to flip hamburgers (because you know, people that have a B.A. are better qualified than people with out one for flipping hamburgers at Mac D's). I am not asking for a job that I am not qualified in doing. that would be insane. I would be an idiot to try looking for a job in something I have no idea how to do. But I have been looking for a job.
I can stay here and gamble and risk the chance of getting a job in a couple of months. If I get a job, Snuggle can come to USA and we can marry here.
But, I can go to Turkey and marry Snuggle, find a new job or take the old job I had last year under the terms that I will get paid on time, the full amount the Head Master owes me and that I will not be taken advantage of. We can get married there. But we have to come to terms that I will be alone in Çorlu and Cute Bear will be in Silivri.
This is a hard decision for me. Either way, Bear and I will be together it is just a matter of how we will figure it out.
Snuggle Bear and I will be together just how will we work it out? Snuggle Bear wants to come to USA because he sees how happy I am. But I am happy with him too.
I guess I will have to continue to ponder this. It is really hard for me. I apologize to others with greater problems than I. I know there are people with much more terrible things and I am trying to not complain about my life. I am just thinking a lot and thinking out loud.
 |
| This is me with Snuggle... how can I not smile around him!?! I miss him Terribly |
I have decided to post pictures of my adventures
 |
| Best Friends since babies |
 |
| Hiking in the Wasatch Mountains |
 |
| Cute picture of Connor and Karon |
 |
| Best Friends since they were 15 months old |
 |
| Cousins on Temple Square |
 |
| on a boat in Jordanelle |
 |
| Jet Skiing on Jordanelle |
 |
| Shopping at Gateway Mall |
 |
| After the Movie we walked near the home of the Utah Jazz, this was near Trax |
 |
| Finally on the Front Runner |
 |
| When asked: Have you been on a train? Connor said Yes: At Disneyland |
 |
| Finally sitting at Pineview Dam while a group went boating |
 |
| He found a branch to jump off and into the water without hurting himself: Lemur Connor |
 |
| Beka Wake Boarding: Got up on the first try! |
So, this is kind of funny. It will be more funny
A couple weeks ago I was heading up to Eden,Utah with my two teenagers. I was meeting an old childhood friend and the teens were coming too! I thought it would be a total blast to go up on the Front Runner, as it is called here in Utah. The Front Runner is a train that goes from Downtown, Salt Lake City to Ogden, Utah. I was really excited to go and it is not too expensive. for a group pass it is 13.00. That was reasonable for me.
Well, we had to walk from my parents which is all the way up near the Church Office Building. We had to catch the Trax (like an on the ground Metro) from about West Temple and South Temple near the Utah Symphony Hall is. (which is about two or three blocks West of me and about one and a half block south of me) I knew that because I was going to be gone for about 10 days I had to pack the lap top, (thanks snuggle for letting me use it here or I would be lost with out it!) and some clothes. I was trying to pack light because I did not want to have to carry everything an have it be a pain. I was thinking that everything would be OK because I had wheels on my suit case.
The Teens were not at all enthusiastic at ALL. The younger one (who turned 13 up at Eden) had already had to wake up EARLY to come to S.L.C. from Orem. She was not a happy camper to say the least. She had to leave Orem at 6:44 am.
So, we were walking to the Trax, to take us to the Front Runner Station (Also called Central Station) which is the only way as of right now to get to Front Runner.
Before I go further, my dear reader, I must tell you about the night before because this plays a big part in this story. The night before I had wanted to walk with Connor to Gateway Mall and buy Rebeka a Birthday gift. On the way we had decided to go to a move and see somethings, and so after the movie, I showed Connor that we will be getting on Front Runner by going on Trax and Trax will take us to the Front Runner. Now, knowing that, poor Connor thought that I was showing him The actual Front Runner Station, although I did not know that at the time.
So, I told Connor that we are going to the Front Runner Station, Connor said I know where that is, I thought he was saying he knew how to get there. Connor did not want to come with me because he said he was embarrassed that I was walking the city with a small suit case and pulling it. So, he was way far away from me.
Rebeka stayed by me and we ended up pulling it with it's wheels and using a leather strap from my D&B bag (thanks Dooney and Burke). I had asked Connor to stay by me however, Connor did not see why he should stay by me. We got to Trax, finally, and we waited for the Trax to get to the Front Runner. The Trax came and Connor had decided to get on way in front of the Trax and because I was tired pulling my suit case I had decided to get on with Beka in the back. As I got on the Trax, I realized that my wheel had broken off... So sad! I hopped on and said to Beka, "I hope Connor knows where he is going" to which she readily said in an irritated voice,"He does not, he doesn't even know where he is going!" I was worried but I thought he would see that I did not get off and that he would hop back on the Trax, but I was just hoping. We got off at the Front Runner and I felt so strongly that Connor was at the Trax stop at the Gateway Mall where I had told Connor the night before that we were going to Front Runner with Trax and there is a Trax stop at Gateway. I then hoped that he would get back on the Trax, and continue on to the Front Runner Station. Not only that but I had Connor's phone and Beka had her phone and I thought... he will not be able to call me!
I waited and waited for Connor to come on the Trax, and while we were waiting, we walked to the Greyhound Bus station which was not far from Front Runner, and I thought I would put my suit case in the lockers there. But my suit case was two inches bigger and the entire area smelled horrible of urine. There was no way that I would keep my bags there. Beka was really annoyed and hot and wearing a hot sweat shirt (beyond me why she would wear a sweat shirt in 98 Degree heat!) and she was getting more and more irritated. Just then, Connor called me from an unregistered phone and said "MOM! Where are you???" I said I am at the Front Runner station, Connor where are you? He said "I am where you told me last night that we were going!" And so, I asked Beka if she would PLEASE stay there, sit on a nice bench and wait for me with our stuff because it is so hard taking things back and forth and back and forth... I said please Beka, I will go get Connor at the Trax Stop, and I will be back in 15 minutes not more. She started yelling at me, and yelled NO!!! DON'T LEAVE ME... She even at one point said "You are abandoning ME!!!" now, dear reader, we started that whole morning at 11 am and now it was 1:30 because of all the little set backs. All I wanted was for Beka to wait for me in front of the Front Runner while I ran three Trax Stops Away to get Connor and get right back on a Trax to reunite with Beka. Beka would not do this. I was really irritated with her but did not say anything. What irritated me was a Front Runner worker asked Beka what was going on and she said "My mom is trying to leave me to go to the Mall" I was really annoyed because it sounded like I was leaving her for going to the Mall... Of course I would not "LEAVE HER" and of course I was only trying to find the fastest and most efficient way to retrieve Connor and most smooth way. I was not trying to Abandon Beka and by all means it would take more time to have to bring Beka, who at that point was really loud with her anger towards her brother and wanting everyone to know that her brother was annoying her. I was annoyed really irritated with Beka at that point and the man said "Ma'am you can not leave your daughter" I just looked at Beka and said "Fine Come" and then when Beka tried to talk I told her not to. she said the most embarrassing things, she yelled "Connor should be Raped, and killed and we should leave him there, he does not deserve to come with us to Eden" that is a toned down version that she said though. Yeah... My cute little girl had officially annoyed me for the last time and I told her at that point to never talk to me if she was going to say that for the rest of the day, and just do what I say. We finally got to Connor and reunited with him. I was so happy and almost wanted to cry because he was safe! I hugged him and said I was so sorry that we got confused. Connor realized that it was the wrong spot when he did not see us get out of the Trax. He thought that when I pointed the Trax out to him that I was telling him that this was the Front Runner Station. I was just happy we were together. Beka on the other hand was upset that I was not angry at him and told him he should have been left there while we went to Eden on our own! (I was so angry at Beka for even saying that)
We went back to the Front Runner station and was just about to hop on the Front Runner when I realized that I had to have 13.00 in either 20 dollar notes, 10 dollar notes, 5 dollar notes and one dollar notes. I heard from a worker that you can not pay with one hundred dollar notes and that was all I had. (Emergency money from my dad that I got permission to use) And so, I begged Beka to be nice to her brother, while I ran to the Gateway Mall and then I ended up finding a Wells Fargo Bank to make change. I called my dad on the way and asked him if I could use the Emergency money for that and he agreed so I changed it and went back to the Front Runner Station on Trax. While I was on Trax heading to the Central Station a man sat on row and on the other side of the aisle of me. He turned around and said "MMMM!!! M-MM-MMM!!! Damn you fine woman!!! I say you FINE!! You Bea-U-TI-FUL!!" At this point I was trying to not make eye contact I I ended up looking down or out to my left window. The man said "I said YOU ARE Beautiful!!! Do you know I always loved you? do you know you are Beautiful?" I pretended to now him and he was louder and loudr and louder. I was trying to not listen to him. He was speaking like that for about ten minutes then he said "You don't love me like I loved you. You are pretending to not know me. I am not crazy you know. I stopped taking my pills just three months ago" I thought maybe he should go back. When we got to the station, he said "I am in love and don't know your name" I said the one and only thing, "That's too bad" and trying to get off the Trax, he started yelling "That's too bad? That's too bad?? That is all you have to say to me?? " I started running and a worker came up to the Crazy Man and I left and bought a ticket and went on the Front Runner with Connor and Beka... Hahahaha... How funny What a day that was.
We got up to Ogden at 3:38 and we were picked up from Front Runner at 5:15. We had a 40 minute drive to Eden which is nestled in the mountains, East of Ogden. It was a long day to say the least but all in all I really like riding Front Runner. Trax will be at the Airport in about a year from now. I am really happy for that.
I am happy to have that part of the day not repeated but I will say I will look back on the day and smile and remember it and laugh. give me a couple of months
Well, we had to walk from my parents which is all the way up near the Church Office Building. We had to catch the Trax (like an on the ground Metro) from about West Temple and South Temple near the Utah Symphony Hall is. (which is about two or three blocks West of me and about one and a half block south of me) I knew that because I was going to be gone for about 10 days I had to pack the lap top, (thanks snuggle for letting me use it here or I would be lost with out it!) and some clothes. I was trying to pack light because I did not want to have to carry everything an have it be a pain. I was thinking that everything would be OK because I had wheels on my suit case.
The Teens were not at all enthusiastic at ALL. The younger one (who turned 13 up at Eden) had already had to wake up EARLY to come to S.L.C. from Orem. She was not a happy camper to say the least. She had to leave Orem at 6:44 am.
So, we were walking to the Trax, to take us to the Front Runner Station (Also called Central Station) which is the only way as of right now to get to Front Runner.
Before I go further, my dear reader, I must tell you about the night before because this plays a big part in this story. The night before I had wanted to walk with Connor to Gateway Mall and buy Rebeka a Birthday gift. On the way we had decided to go to a move and see somethings, and so after the movie, I showed Connor that we will be getting on Front Runner by going on Trax and Trax will take us to the Front Runner. Now, knowing that, poor Connor thought that I was showing him The actual Front Runner Station, although I did not know that at the time.
So, I told Connor that we are going to the Front Runner Station, Connor said I know where that is, I thought he was saying he knew how to get there. Connor did not want to come with me because he said he was embarrassed that I was walking the city with a small suit case and pulling it. So, he was way far away from me.
Rebeka stayed by me and we ended up pulling it with it's wheels and using a leather strap from my D&B bag (thanks Dooney and Burke). I had asked Connor to stay by me however, Connor did not see why he should stay by me. We got to Trax, finally, and we waited for the Trax to get to the Front Runner. The Trax came and Connor had decided to get on way in front of the Trax and because I was tired pulling my suit case I had decided to get on with Beka in the back. As I got on the Trax, I realized that my wheel had broken off... So sad! I hopped on and said to Beka, "I hope Connor knows where he is going" to which she readily said in an irritated voice,"He does not, he doesn't even know where he is going!" I was worried but I thought he would see that I did not get off and that he would hop back on the Trax, but I was just hoping. We got off at the Front Runner and I felt so strongly that Connor was at the Trax stop at the Gateway Mall where I had told Connor the night before that we were going to Front Runner with Trax and there is a Trax stop at Gateway. I then hoped that he would get back on the Trax, and continue on to the Front Runner Station. Not only that but I had Connor's phone and Beka had her phone and I thought... he will not be able to call me!
I waited and waited for Connor to come on the Trax, and while we were waiting, we walked to the Greyhound Bus station which was not far from Front Runner, and I thought I would put my suit case in the lockers there. But my suit case was two inches bigger and the entire area smelled horrible of urine. There was no way that I would keep my bags there. Beka was really annoyed and hot and wearing a hot sweat shirt (beyond me why she would wear a sweat shirt in 98 Degree heat!) and she was getting more and more irritated. Just then, Connor called me from an unregistered phone and said "MOM! Where are you???" I said I am at the Front Runner station, Connor where are you? He said "I am where you told me last night that we were going!" And so, I asked Beka if she would PLEASE stay there, sit on a nice bench and wait for me with our stuff because it is so hard taking things back and forth and back and forth... I said please Beka, I will go get Connor at the Trax Stop, and I will be back in 15 minutes not more. She started yelling at me, and yelled NO!!! DON'T LEAVE ME... She even at one point said "You are abandoning ME!!!" now, dear reader, we started that whole morning at 11 am and now it was 1:30 because of all the little set backs. All I wanted was for Beka to wait for me in front of the Front Runner while I ran three Trax Stops Away to get Connor and get right back on a Trax to reunite with Beka. Beka would not do this. I was really irritated with her but did not say anything. What irritated me was a Front Runner worker asked Beka what was going on and she said "My mom is trying to leave me to go to the Mall" I was really annoyed because it sounded like I was leaving her for going to the Mall... Of course I would not "LEAVE HER" and of course I was only trying to find the fastest and most efficient way to retrieve Connor and most smooth way. I was not trying to Abandon Beka and by all means it would take more time to have to bring Beka, who at that point was really loud with her anger towards her brother and wanting everyone to know that her brother was annoying her. I was annoyed really irritated with Beka at that point and the man said "Ma'am you can not leave your daughter" I just looked at Beka and said "Fine Come" and then when Beka tried to talk I told her not to. she said the most embarrassing things, she yelled "Connor should be Raped, and killed and we should leave him there, he does not deserve to come with us to Eden" that is a toned down version that she said though. Yeah... My cute little girl had officially annoyed me for the last time and I told her at that point to never talk to me if she was going to say that for the rest of the day, and just do what I say. We finally got to Connor and reunited with him. I was so happy and almost wanted to cry because he was safe! I hugged him and said I was so sorry that we got confused. Connor realized that it was the wrong spot when he did not see us get out of the Trax. He thought that when I pointed the Trax out to him that I was telling him that this was the Front Runner Station. I was just happy we were together. Beka on the other hand was upset that I was not angry at him and told him he should have been left there while we went to Eden on our own! (I was so angry at Beka for even saying that)
We went back to the Front Runner station and was just about to hop on the Front Runner when I realized that I had to have 13.00 in either 20 dollar notes, 10 dollar notes, 5 dollar notes and one dollar notes. I heard from a worker that you can not pay with one hundred dollar notes and that was all I had. (Emergency money from my dad that I got permission to use) And so, I begged Beka to be nice to her brother, while I ran to the Gateway Mall and then I ended up finding a Wells Fargo Bank to make change. I called my dad on the way and asked him if I could use the Emergency money for that and he agreed so I changed it and went back to the Front Runner Station on Trax. While I was on Trax heading to the Central Station a man sat on row and on the other side of the aisle of me. He turned around and said "MMMM!!! M-MM-MMM!!! Damn you fine woman!!! I say you FINE!! You Bea-U-TI-FUL!!" At this point I was trying to not make eye contact I I ended up looking down or out to my left window. The man said "I said YOU ARE Beautiful!!! Do you know I always loved you? do you know you are Beautiful?" I pretended to now him and he was louder and loudr and louder. I was trying to not listen to him. He was speaking like that for about ten minutes then he said "You don't love me like I loved you. You are pretending to not know me. I am not crazy you know. I stopped taking my pills just three months ago" I thought maybe he should go back. When we got to the station, he said "I am in love and don't know your name" I said the one and only thing, "That's too bad" and trying to get off the Trax, he started yelling "That's too bad? That's too bad?? That is all you have to say to me?? " I started running and a worker came up to the Crazy Man and I left and bought a ticket and went on the Front Runner with Connor and Beka... Hahahaha... How funny What a day that was.
We got up to Ogden at 3:38 and we were picked up from Front Runner at 5:15. We had a 40 minute drive to Eden which is nestled in the mountains, East of Ogden. It was a long day to say the least but all in all I really like riding Front Runner. Trax will be at the Airport in about a year from now. I am really happy for that.
I am happy to have that part of the day not repeated but I will say I will look back on the day and smile and remember it and laugh. give me a couple of months
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
