My readers who come on here constant, must miss me! It has been quite a while since I have been writing here. Please do forgive me, my dear readers!
I have been silent because I have not had the strength to come on here and write about some very personal things I have been dealing with.
As of today, it has been 3 years, 2 months,and 13 days since I have seen my husband. It is killing me. I miss my husband more than anyone can ever imagine and I never thought that I would not see my husband this ong, and If it really took this long, I would have thought of something different.
Indeed, I am depressed. I have to find a co-sponsor that has been living in USA, is a US Citizen and be willing to sponsor him until he becomes a US Citizen.
I am so depressed because I just have been looking and looking and have not been able to find one.
Going back to Turkey is not an option for us right now. Turkey is a beloved country for me, and is dear to my heart. But, honestly it is better for my husband and his family that he come here and we establish our lives here.
I have been married to my husband since July 4th 2013 and I left Turkey in September 2013 to come here, hoping I would only be away from him for 6 months. I found out on 8th of August that I have to find someone to cosponsor him for him to come here.
My husband is a good man. We are loving and kind to each other and I miss him more than anyone can ever know. I don't think there is a comprehension of what I am going through.
I am severely depressed because I miss my husband so deeply.
We miss each other so much and I miss everything about him. Everything. I wish he were here to annoy me. I hear of all these wives who get irritated that their husbands annoy them. You wives are lucky. Your husband is near you. Mine isn't.
I wish someone would come forward and help me bring my husband here. That is all I want. I don't want anything else. I need my husband. My husband needs me.
I am desperate. Please someone help me.
I have never thought to go to the internet to get help to bring my husband here, but this is how I have had to come to now. Getting my husband here by asking strangers for help.
Tuesday, December 13, 2016
Monday, August 15, 2016
"Hunger" Strike
I have no hunger pains.
I have other pains the past few months. One being a very impenetrable heartache of not seeing my Husband in 2 years 10 months and 2 weeks.
I can't take it any longer. I can't eat. I have no joy in anything. I have woroked so hard to bring my husband here and I have done everything that has been asked and required of me because I have been working so hard to bring my husband here.
I can not tell you about how many tears I have cried. As I write this I continue to cry. Just tears streaming down my face. I have not seen my husband in so long. I think of my husband. He has done nothing wrong. He has loved me and been faithful to me as I him during this whole time we have been married yet, not been together as we have been trying to be living together as husband and wife. This is our RIGHT as me being a Citizen of the United States Goverment.
But, am I really sacrificing anything when I don't hunger, I don't thirst? I think it's my body just saying, "You can't take this any longer" (this being my husband and I being separated so long, it is effecting our mental well being)
I think the worst part of this is my husband's soul in despair. This kills me. Has anyone read the book or seen the movie 'LadyHawke'? It stars Matthew Broderick, Rutger Hauer, Michehlle Pfiffer, and John Wood. It is of a man and woman who are cursed, and at night the Captain turns to a wolf and the Hawk becomes a woman, whoever right at the break of dawn, the Captian becomes a man, anad the woman becomes a Hawk. It's heart breaking because there is just seconds of their inbetween time where they barely can touch when they are both transformed. I feel like this is myself and my beloved husband. I keep praying and saying, "Ok, God, it's ok tko punish me for whatever I have done in my life, but, stop pnishing my husband." This is not fair to the most loving and good man that I have ever known that is not a family member. In about three weeks, It will be three years that we have not seen eachother and I am just trying to bring my husband here honest and the right way.
What angers me are people that come here and cheat the entire system. I don't know how to lie, even if were the death of me. My husband is the same way. We just don't know how to lie.
So, we wouldn't know where to begin to cheat his way here.
So, I call this a hunger strike, but is it fair to call it that when how can I feel hunger or thrist without my beloved? It's just probably my body breaking down and telling the universe I can not function without him. that is what it is. My body can not function without my beloved husband. I force myseslf to drink from time to time for the health of my kidney. But, there is celebration, no colors in my world. Everything is gray until I have my husband at my side.
I told a friend of mine whose friends with a Senator who I just honestly have determined that no one cares, that I have impenetrable sorrow. It is constant. I hate the question "How are you?" I hate hearing it, because I want to say, "What do you think how I am? My husband is not here, my life, my love is not with me, and he is in a very difficult place to live right now, do you really want to know?"
My husband asks "How are you doing?" and I can tell him, those conversations are only for me and him.
In the culture there, I can't imagine what he is going through because people can say, Well you have not seen her for three years. there is a lot of bad sigma along with this situation we are in, and now that there is turmoil in Turkey, who knows when we will see each other. It is most depressing.
Hold your loved ones, my readers. Never let a day go by without telling your loved ones you love them. Time is precious.
But, am I really sacrificing anything when I don't hunger, I don't thirst? I think it's my body just saying, "You can't take this any longer" (this being my husband and I being separated so long, it is effecting our mental well being)
I think the worst part of this is my husband's soul in despair. This kills me. Has anyone read the book or seen the movie 'LadyHawke'? It stars Matthew Broderick, Rutger Hauer, Michehlle Pfiffer, and John Wood. It is of a man and woman who are cursed, and at night the Captain turns to a wolf and the Hawk becomes a woman, whoever right at the break of dawn, the Captian becomes a man, anad the woman becomes a Hawk. It's heart breaking because there is just seconds of their inbetween time where they barely can touch when they are both transformed. I feel like this is myself and my beloved husband. I keep praying and saying, "Ok, God, it's ok tko punish me for whatever I have done in my life, but, stop pnishing my husband." This is not fair to the most loving and good man that I have ever known that is not a family member. In about three weeks, It will be three years that we have not seen eachother and I am just trying to bring my husband here honest and the right way.
What angers me are people that come here and cheat the entire system. I don't know how to lie, even if were the death of me. My husband is the same way. We just don't know how to lie.
So, we wouldn't know where to begin to cheat his way here.
So, I call this a hunger strike, but is it fair to call it that when how can I feel hunger or thrist without my beloved? It's just probably my body breaking down and telling the universe I can not function without him. that is what it is. My body can not function without my beloved husband. I force myseslf to drink from time to time for the health of my kidney. But, there is celebration, no colors in my world. Everything is gray until I have my husband at my side.
I told a friend of mine whose friends with a Senator who I just honestly have determined that no one cares, that I have impenetrable sorrow. It is constant. I hate the question "How are you?" I hate hearing it, because I want to say, "What do you think how I am? My husband is not here, my life, my love is not with me, and he is in a very difficult place to live right now, do you really want to know?"
My husband asks "How are you doing?" and I can tell him, those conversations are only for me and him.
In the culture there, I can't imagine what he is going through because people can say, Well you have not seen her for three years. there is a lot of bad sigma along with this situation we are in, and now that there is turmoil in Turkey, who knows when we will see each other. It is most depressing.
Hold your loved ones, my readers. Never let a day go by without telling your loved ones you love them. Time is precious.
Open Letter to Shah Rhuk Khan
I am sure Mr.SRK will never read this, however, after what happened to him this past weekend, I am compelled to write this.
Dear Shah Rhuk Khan,
You have never known me and most likely, I will never have the honor of being graced by your presence, however, I am compelled to write this to you. I truly hope that you continue to come to our country. The reason why, is because we need more Muslims here, not less.
You see,Mr Khan, and any Muslim reading this, us Americans are broken. This has nothing to do with you, and this is not a religious problem, although people will love to say it is. It is easy to put religiion in any equation, however, most Americans don't realize how dangerous this is.
I am raised Christian, ("Mormon" to be exact), I have a Muslim daighter who is half Syrian, and I have a husband who is Muslim, and other children who are Christian, Agnostic towards any Dogma at all, and I have concluded that it is important for Americans to stop this ignorance and realize that people are just that. I, as an American, am constantly being pulled aside in the airports. You see, my daughter who travels around the world, is always getting asked many questions also. I recall one time I was flying with her to United Arab Emirates, and they pulled me into a room and pulled my daughter at the age of 14, into another room. She asked me before she went in the room without me, "Momma, what do I say?" I said, "Be resepctful and be honest." What does a mother say to someone who has this 'authority over you whilst you're just trying to travel'.
My daughter moved out of the state we reisde right now because of the horrible treatment shse recieved and lack of protection that the Administration, the Teachers and Faculty of the schools would not give to my daughter. Indeed, we have had our frustrations living in hte U.S.A. with the most ignorant, blinded people, and sadly, the media here fuels this. I have seen it in Turkey as well, and my husband sees it everyday presently, as USA is blamed for every wrong thing with the world.
Maybe it's true. Maybe everything that is wrong with the world is because of the USA.
I have seen, in my humble human experience, the worst and the best of any culture.
I will say the best of my culture here in America is we are still really naiive. This can be a bad thing or a good thing. But, sometimes it is an endearment, that is according to Europeans, really annoying, about Americans. We have a tenancy to believe everything we see on the Tele. We just do.
Now take that and welcome to the beautlful state of Utah, where it is the White Collar Criminal Capitol of the USA. (you could even say the world). You could sell us Mormons here, a visa card that will feed 1,000's of starving African kids from your rewrds points, and we will buy as many as those as possible.
We are sorry, though. I am speaking for many Americans when I say this. I know MANY Americans that love other culltures and people and religions. I will speak for myself when I say I have become enchanted with Bollywood 4 years ago when I first saw your movie clip/ music video of "Chaiyya Chaiyya", and fell in love with the song, and of course had to watch who this man, Shah Rukh Khan guy is. And I have not stopped. If I could have a sit down conversation, I would think that we would have lots in common. I would also have many questions too.
If you feel better, Senator Ted Kennedy was also on the TIDA list, as his name has been used as alias. I think that would make you in good company, how you look at it. (I presonally am not a fan of the Kennedy's at all, though I love Maria Shriver, and take her side on what her husband did to her: Boo, Mr Swartzeneggar (sp)
I hope you continue to come to America and often. We Amercians need to be more compassionate, and I myself and truly saddened and annoyed that of all people THE SRK had to be detained. You are also in the same position as a person I know who was detained in London Heathrow Ariport for 12 hours (yes: American, and Muslim)
Please come and visit USA often. If you ever make it to Utah, I shall make you chay,(Turkish) and read your coffee grains.
Peace, people of the world, and sorry to all the travellers from outside the USA who have to deal with a lot of garbage just to visit.
Dear Shah Rhuk Khan,
You have never known me and most likely, I will never have the honor of being graced by your presence, however, I am compelled to write this to you. I truly hope that you continue to come to our country. The reason why, is because we need more Muslims here, not less.
You see,Mr Khan, and any Muslim reading this, us Americans are broken. This has nothing to do with you, and this is not a religious problem, although people will love to say it is. It is easy to put religiion in any equation, however, most Americans don't realize how dangerous this is.
I am raised Christian, ("Mormon" to be exact), I have a Muslim daighter who is half Syrian, and I have a husband who is Muslim, and other children who are Christian, Agnostic towards any Dogma at all, and I have concluded that it is important for Americans to stop this ignorance and realize that people are just that. I, as an American, am constantly being pulled aside in the airports. You see, my daughter who travels around the world, is always getting asked many questions also. I recall one time I was flying with her to United Arab Emirates, and they pulled me into a room and pulled my daughter at the age of 14, into another room. She asked me before she went in the room without me, "Momma, what do I say?" I said, "Be resepctful and be honest." What does a mother say to someone who has this 'authority over you whilst you're just trying to travel'.
My daughter moved out of the state we reisde right now because of the horrible treatment shse recieved and lack of protection that the Administration, the Teachers and Faculty of the schools would not give to my daughter. Indeed, we have had our frustrations living in hte U.S.A. with the most ignorant, blinded people, and sadly, the media here fuels this. I have seen it in Turkey as well, and my husband sees it everyday presently, as USA is blamed for every wrong thing with the world.
Maybe it's true. Maybe everything that is wrong with the world is because of the USA.
I have seen, in my humble human experience, the worst and the best of any culture.
I will say the best of my culture here in America is we are still really naiive. This can be a bad thing or a good thing. But, sometimes it is an endearment, that is according to Europeans, really annoying, about Americans. We have a tenancy to believe everything we see on the Tele. We just do.
Now take that and welcome to the beautlful state of Utah, where it is the White Collar Criminal Capitol of the USA. (you could even say the world). You could sell us Mormons here, a visa card that will feed 1,000's of starving African kids from your rewrds points, and we will buy as many as those as possible.
We are sorry, though. I am speaking for many Americans when I say this. I know MANY Americans that love other culltures and people and religions. I will speak for myself when I say I have become enchanted with Bollywood 4 years ago when I first saw your movie clip/ music video of "Chaiyya Chaiyya", and fell in love with the song, and of course had to watch who this man, Shah Rukh Khan guy is. And I have not stopped. If I could have a sit down conversation, I would think that we would have lots in common. I would also have many questions too.
If you feel better, Senator Ted Kennedy was also on the TIDA list, as his name has been used as alias. I think that would make you in good company, how you look at it. (I presonally am not a fan of the Kennedy's at all, though I love Maria Shriver, and take her side on what her husband did to her: Boo, Mr Swartzeneggar (sp)
I hope you continue to come to America and often. We Amercians need to be more compassionate, and I myself and truly saddened and annoyed that of all people THE SRK had to be detained. You are also in the same position as a person I know who was detained in London Heathrow Ariport for 12 hours (yes: American, and Muslim)
Please come and visit USA often. If you ever make it to Utah, I shall make you chay,(Turkish) and read your coffee grains.
Peace, people of the world, and sorry to all the travellers from outside the USA who have to deal with a lot of garbage just to visit.
Sunday, August 14, 2016
Another Shot in the Heart
The Government said I have to find a Co-Sponsor.
Thank you USA. You will allow illegal aliens here, yet, U.S.Citizens aren't allwoed to bring their spouses here.
I hate illegal aliens and I hate that our country allows people to have Citizenship if they are born here. Screw that!!! Get them where they hurt!! If a baby is born here from another country, they are not allowed citizenship!! That has GOT to be a law! I freaking hate how people came here through lying, cheating and running in here thinking they are entitled to things. Guess what illegals, you're not entitled to jack! Go home and let LEGAL people come, like my husband. If you don't like what I say, then go get your own blog, and write about how love illegals to come here and steal our jobs. Yes, we can live just fine without the likes of you!
Be sure to invite I.C.E. to read your blog, too. They will come and visit your home also.
Yes, I have called I.C.E. on some people that came here last week, saying how they are bringing their wives here and how they have been here for a month (SERIOUSLY???) I will continue to call I.C.E. on anyone who is here illegal. It is not right at all that I am a citizen and can't have my husband here and yet illegals have their families here. I hope they continue to deport the jerks here illegally and I don't feel a bit sad for them at all.. Once you step foot into our country without doing it legal, you have committed a federal crime against hte U.S. Government and no you are not entitled to jack crap.
Thank you USA. You will allow illegal aliens here, yet, U.S.Citizens aren't allwoed to bring their spouses here.
I hate illegal aliens and I hate that our country allows people to have Citizenship if they are born here. Screw that!!! Get them where they hurt!! If a baby is born here from another country, they are not allowed citizenship!! That has GOT to be a law! I freaking hate how people came here through lying, cheating and running in here thinking they are entitled to things. Guess what illegals, you're not entitled to jack! Go home and let LEGAL people come, like my husband. If you don't like what I say, then go get your own blog, and write about how love illegals to come here and steal our jobs. Yes, we can live just fine without the likes of you!
Be sure to invite I.C.E. to read your blog, too. They will come and visit your home also.
Yes, I have called I.C.E. on some people that came here last week, saying how they are bringing their wives here and how they have been here for a month (SERIOUSLY???) I will continue to call I.C.E. on anyone who is here illegal. It is not right at all that I am a citizen and can't have my husband here and yet illegals have their families here. I hope they continue to deport the jerks here illegally and I don't feel a bit sad for them at all.. Once you step foot into our country without doing it legal, you have committed a federal crime against hte U.S. Government and no you are not entitled to jack crap.
Wednesday, August 3, 2016
Untitled
I guess as an artist, if I could describe everything I am going through in one color I think I could say very easily that I would be decribed in my "Gray Period".
Again, today, I had no hunger pains but did eat once, and I have noticed there is nothing enjoyable in my life.
So, as I sit here, I think I am in such a period in my life, I think I can easily say, it is my gray, colorless, life. Just, grays. When everything is colorfula nd illuminated, it will be when my husband and I are reunited.
Nothing until there can penetrate into my heart. I have minutes in time where something will make me smile or happy, but, I am so done with trying to be happy right now and looking for the silver lining. Somedays, like today, I say, Nope. There is nothing happy, nothing that will make me smile. How can I? The one person in my life I want to share whatever is making me smile is not with me.
it is as though something cold has rushed into me and on me, like a frozen rod slowly creeping over me, starting from the very tip of my head and slsowly ran to the bottoms of the tips of my toes, and I am cold and hallow.
I thought I would feel it only a couple weeks and I thought, I won't feel like that again. Oh thou little fool! It is not just when I am going through a couple of weeks ago, however, again, today and I can't get rid of it anylonger. I am not ignoring it. But, my readers, it's is impenetrable sadness. I will not let it stop feeling this way until I have my beloved at my side. It is just not going to happen. I am so done with this. Every where I go, I just feel the same. The grayness, the coldness, and then the impenetrable sadness. Sometimes I think can I cry any more than I have? I think the tears can't come anymore. I have no more water in my body to cry, and then it comes again. Once I drink, my tears come back to me and flow in a steady stream down my face.
I have accepted these feelings. I see them as mine. There is not one person in the world that knows exactly when I am going through and no one will ever try. And I know that people don't even begin to understand how I feel. I am fine with that too. But, I am also done with people saying tehre is something out there that has all the answers. It is just not true.
Sorry, guys, Nothing happy about that.
Cheers.
Phelange
Again, today, I had no hunger pains but did eat once, and I have noticed there is nothing enjoyable in my life.
So, as I sit here, I think I am in such a period in my life, I think I can easily say, it is my gray, colorless, life. Just, grays. When everything is colorfula nd illuminated, it will be when my husband and I are reunited.
Nothing until there can penetrate into my heart. I have minutes in time where something will make me smile or happy, but, I am so done with trying to be happy right now and looking for the silver lining. Somedays, like today, I say, Nope. There is nothing happy, nothing that will make me smile. How can I? The one person in my life I want to share whatever is making me smile is not with me.
it is as though something cold has rushed into me and on me, like a frozen rod slowly creeping over me, starting from the very tip of my head and slsowly ran to the bottoms of the tips of my toes, and I am cold and hallow.
I thought I would feel it only a couple weeks and I thought, I won't feel like that again. Oh thou little fool! It is not just when I am going through a couple of weeks ago, however, again, today and I can't get rid of it anylonger. I am not ignoring it. But, my readers, it's is impenetrable sadness. I will not let it stop feeling this way until I have my beloved at my side. It is just not going to happen. I am so done with this. Every where I go, I just feel the same. The grayness, the coldness, and then the impenetrable sadness. Sometimes I think can I cry any more than I have? I think the tears can't come anymore. I have no more water in my body to cry, and then it comes again. Once I drink, my tears come back to me and flow in a steady stream down my face.
I have accepted these feelings. I see them as mine. There is not one person in the world that knows exactly when I am going through and no one will ever try. And I know that people don't even begin to understand how I feel. I am fine with that too. But, I am also done with people saying tehre is something out there that has all the answers. It is just not true.
Sorry, guys, Nothing happy about that.
Cheers.
Phelange
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Facebook Detox Complete
Hi, Readers! It has been a couple of weeks since I have been on. I know, I know, I need be writing everyday, I just had to go in my cocoon for a while to regroup.
I have not been on Facebook for 5 months now, and I must say: I don't miss it. I don't miss people complaining. I don't miss people being rude. and I certainly don't miss what people write about what they eat, and I don't miss selfies, unless they're a family member.
I am not missing it at all. Facebook is so out anyway: Be cool, get off Facebook.
Peace, Readers!
I have not been on Facebook for 5 months now, and I must say: I don't miss it. I don't miss people complaining. I don't miss people being rude. and I certainly don't miss what people write about what they eat, and I don't miss selfies, unless they're a family member.
I am not missing it at all. Facebook is so out anyway: Be cool, get off Facebook.
Peace, Readers!
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
To my French Readers
Please forgive me for neglecting you.
I did not mean to. I have been so full of sadness, it did not mean I forgot you, I just have been wrapped up in my cocoon.
I heard about France, and am shattered that once again, the beautiful country of France has been again, hurt by attackers who are cowards, and ruthless. I wish I could wrap my arms around all the people of the world who are suffering and make all the horrible terrorists and murderers get on a rocket ship and shoot them out to the sun. Sadly, I can not. What I can do is tell you that there are people that love you, France. There are people that are with you, my dear French readers, and you are not forgotten even if the world seems cold and filled with darkness. We love you, beautiful France.
Love and Hugs to all Citizens of Everywhere who are in pain.
I did not mean to. I have been so full of sadness, it did not mean I forgot you, I just have been wrapped up in my cocoon.
I heard about France, and am shattered that once again, the beautiful country of France has been again, hurt by attackers who are cowards, and ruthless. I wish I could wrap my arms around all the people of the world who are suffering and make all the horrible terrorists and murderers get on a rocket ship and shoot them out to the sun. Sadly, I can not. What I can do is tell you that there are people that love you, France. There are people that are with you, my dear French readers, and you are not forgotten even if the world seems cold and filled with darkness. We love you, beautiful France.
Love and Hugs to all Citizens of Everywhere who are in pain.
Big News For Turkey: Dear Turkish Readers, Please Read!!
My Dear Readers, and Especially my Turkish Readers; ğ
As you all know about the failed coup attempt this past weekend, I must say, we all know where this beautiful country of Turkey will be headed.
Let's not think of that right now. Just a couple of hours ago, Recip Tayyip Erdoğan madae a speech and said he is announcing something big on Wednesday.
If you want to know what it is, please read further.
I have friends in the U.S. Military who are stationed in Incirlik. They are no more. The Turkish President had just Three hours and 40 minutes ago told the U.S. Government and all her Allies to leave Turkey immediately for face prison. One German is detained in prison presently, and there are two more who are suspected to be detained, yet I can not confirm that. What I DO know is that the Nuclear Weapons are currently being removed in an undisclosed location and All the Troops who were helping Turkey (namely the US, but there were Germans, Dutch, Norwegian and other Military Soldiers)to defead ISIL, and Syrian Government, as well as all the other Political unrest in the region.
Do not be fooled by Erdoğan. he is cunning, charismatic, and can be highly emotional. He is not to be trusted.
What other news he will be announcing on Wednesday, we will have to see, but pay attention, my Readers, American Soliders have been forced to evacute TODAY and they have left as we speak, to Kuwait.
I will bring more information as I have it.
Please be safe. I love my Turkish country. I am so sad to see all the suffering there. I hope my former students (Exactly the ages of the soldiers) are safe, and did not die in the hands of this great weekend of terror and sorrow.
Peace Be Upon you
As you all know about the failed coup attempt this past weekend, I must say, we all know where this beautiful country of Turkey will be headed.
Let's not think of that right now. Just a couple of hours ago, Recip Tayyip Erdoğan madae a speech and said he is announcing something big on Wednesday.
If you want to know what it is, please read further.
I have friends in the U.S. Military who are stationed in Incirlik. They are no more. The Turkish President had just Three hours and 40 minutes ago told the U.S. Government and all her Allies to leave Turkey immediately for face prison. One German is detained in prison presently, and there are two more who are suspected to be detained, yet I can not confirm that. What I DO know is that the Nuclear Weapons are currently being removed in an undisclosed location and All the Troops who were helping Turkey (namely the US, but there were Germans, Dutch, Norwegian and other Military Soldiers)to defead ISIL, and Syrian Government, as well as all the other Political unrest in the region.
Do not be fooled by Erdoğan. he is cunning, charismatic, and can be highly emotional. He is not to be trusted.
What other news he will be announcing on Wednesday, we will have to see, but pay attention, my Readers, American Soliders have been forced to evacute TODAY and they have left as we speak, to Kuwait.
I will bring more information as I have it.
Please be safe. I love my Turkish country. I am so sad to see all the suffering there. I hope my former students (Exactly the ages of the soldiers) are safe, and did not die in the hands of this great weekend of terror and sorrow.
Peace Be Upon you
Sunday, July 17, 2016
Beloved Istanbul
I have been weeping. Tears streaming down my face for 27 hours. Once I feel I can't cry anymore, I drink water, just so my eyes will produce more tears.
My beloved Istanbul, my beloved Turkish readers. My heart has never left you. My heart is broken in so many pieces, I can not wrap my head around how much I miss you, want my in laws to be ok and want my Beloved husband here.
I knew about the coup as it was happening. My beloved was not sleeping as F-16's were flying over his head, and bombing. Roads blocked so he wasn't able to get home to a Western (for proction of his family) In Western Trakya. Friends I have not heard from. I don't know if they are dead or alive. I pray they are alive. I don't know. My beloved Husband is OK but, beheadings on the Bosphorus Bridge, Soliders jumping off the Bridge to avoid being beheaded. And younger than some of my own kids. I stand behind the people. I condemn the beheadings of the soldiers. I condemn the autrocities the Turkish Prime Minister has done the to the people over the last few years. I condemn those who have terrorized the people of Turkey. There is no excuse to what the Dictator has done to the people and there is no stopping him either. I was hoping the Military would over throw the vicious cycle of the PM in Turkey. For all the crimes he has committed to the peoples of the Turkey.
My beloved Istanbul. Never lose your fear. Never use fear and keep your mind and body in control, and you will defeat this master manipulator.
There are many people with you. Never give up hope.
Beloved Istanbul, you have Mustafa Kemaml Ataturk in you... Remember him and his words:
"Tehre are two Mustafa Kemals. One the flesh-and- blood who now stands before you and who will pass away. The other is you, All of you here who will go to the corners of our land to spread the ideals which must be defended with your lives if necessary. I stand for the nation's dreams, and my life's work is to make them come true."
Please keep in mind Ataturk's words when he said:
"Those who use religion for their own benefit are detestable. We are against such a situation and will not allow it. Those who use religion in such a manner have fooled our people; it is against just such people that we have fought and will continue to fight."
How wise beloved Ataturk, Baba Turk was when he wrote everything he wrote. Turkey will rise. Turks bleed the Turk blood of your fathers and your land you have fought to preserve.
Barış to my Turkısh readers
Mustafa Kemal is the true leader of this beloved land I love.
My beloved Istanbul, my beloved Turkish readers. My heart has never left you. My heart is broken in so many pieces, I can not wrap my head around how much I miss you, want my in laws to be ok and want my Beloved husband here.
I knew about the coup as it was happening. My beloved was not sleeping as F-16's were flying over his head, and bombing. Roads blocked so he wasn't able to get home to a Western (for proction of his family) In Western Trakya. Friends I have not heard from. I don't know if they are dead or alive. I pray they are alive. I don't know. My beloved Husband is OK but, beheadings on the Bosphorus Bridge, Soliders jumping off the Bridge to avoid being beheaded. And younger than some of my own kids. I stand behind the people. I condemn the beheadings of the soldiers. I condemn the autrocities the Turkish Prime Minister has done the to the people over the last few years. I condemn those who have terrorized the people of Turkey. There is no excuse to what the Dictator has done to the people and there is no stopping him either. I was hoping the Military would over throw the vicious cycle of the PM in Turkey. For all the crimes he has committed to the peoples of the Turkey.
My beloved Istanbul. Never lose your fear. Never use fear and keep your mind and body in control, and you will defeat this master manipulator.
There are many people with you. Never give up hope.
Beloved Istanbul, you have Mustafa Kemaml Ataturk in you... Remember him and his words:
"Tehre are two Mustafa Kemals. One the flesh-and- blood who now stands before you and who will pass away. The other is you, All of you here who will go to the corners of our land to spread the ideals which must be defended with your lives if necessary. I stand for the nation's dreams, and my life's work is to make them come true."
Please keep in mind Ataturk's words when he said:
"Those who use religion for their own benefit are detestable. We are against such a situation and will not allow it. Those who use religion in such a manner have fooled our people; it is against just such people that we have fought and will continue to fight."
How wise beloved Ataturk, Baba Turk was when he wrote everything he wrote. Turkey will rise. Turks bleed the Turk blood of your fathers and your land you have fought to preserve.
Barış to my Turkısh readers
Mustafa Kemal is the true leader of this beloved land I love.
On Pain
Sometimes there are no words for how my heart feels. I know it is a combination of sorrow, heartache, and manifestts itself into pain.
I read a quote from C.S.Lewis that says, "Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more harder to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say 'My tooth aches' than to say, 'My heart is broken'."
The human experience is strange, awful, terrible, sorrowful, painful, beautiful, loving, joyful, and full of tears. Time and time again, I think can my body produce more tears? And just when my eyes have been drained of the tears and drenched my pillow, I don't think I can prooduce one more tear, they run down my face again.
It is my human experience. It is my joy or my pain I have endure in order to the be the person I am created to be. It hurts so much, and sometimes I can't feel my heart. My heart is split. sometimes I think I can't even think of how to put my heart back in place. Some days, I don't even think about how to make my heart whole again. But this is me, all of me. My scars, my good, my bad, my being. I am just being. That is all I can do is "Be". That is me for now. I can't wrap my head around all the world's sorrows. There is too much suffering and I can't help my dear ones in the world. I want to. I want to hug every person suffering and going through their own human experiences that are painful, that only the heart feels and can't even speak. Please know, I am with you. I am holding on to every breath you breath and I can only say may you have peace. Peace be upon you. I am sorry I can not remove your pain. I can't remove your shattered heart. I want to. I want to mend it and give it back to you. But, I can say, I know pain too. That kind of pain that makes your heart ache so much you think it is going to stop, and it feels so painful you can only stop in your tracks and you can't think you can go on. Please carry forward. Hold onto something dear to keep you moving forward. Even if there is no hope and you're not sure where the path is. It will come soon. the path will clear away, and you will see it. Carry on.
There are no answers to pain. There are no answers to sorrows. I am sorry. I wish there were answers to the question "Why?" I used to asked often when I was younger. Then, I stopped asking why because I realized, there are no answers to why. Sometimes Why answers are because humans hurt other humans. The other answer to why is that humans are the only species created that have reason and think with reason and they have no morals. Those answers I don't even want to say and think.
I hope you find peace. I hope you find love. with all the pain there is the opposite. Joy and love. with great Pain comes great Joy.
May you, my readers have great joy and peace.
Shanti.
Wednesday, June 29, 2016
Istanbul News
This morning I woke up to my husband calling me on Facetime and it was really nice to talk to him. I worked on the documents I am sending to the NVC and he was simultaneously doing the things he needed to send me. It was about 9 a.m. for me about 6p.m. for him. About 10 p.m. his time his father came in the living room and said to turn on the T.V. quickly, there was an attack at the Ataturk International Airport. How grievous. So, what the news got there is different than here. Let me tell you what happened.
According to reports from eye witnesses, and employees of the airport (who were also eye witnesses) A man was in the International Arrivals leaving the airport, and had to check in his baggage through airport security. He was getting aggitated because he wanted to get through quickly. However, the airport security asked for him to please be paitent as they were looking in the scanner in his bag. The man threw some hand grenades into the where his bag was (the bag was a bomb inside,) and burst through the security line yelling and throwing more hand grenades.He had an assult weapon and was firing it as well. He had strapped to himself a bomb and as he was yelling and throwing hand grenades, he blew himself up. Others at the scene said there were two people, and one was firing assult weapon while the other was throwing hand grenades.The one who was firing the A-K 47, ran around, and would try to shoot anyone he could see. There was no method of whom he was shooting at. Eye witnesses said when he was done shooting, he simply turned, walked down the escalator, and went out of the airport (there is a metro in the lowest floor the airport, most likely to catch a metro?) One man tried to grab, and threw down the suicide bomber who had explosives under his vest. 60 (count may go higher) people died, and more than 125 people were severely injured, more than several people were in critically injured. The largest marjority amoung the dead were Turkish Citizens.
Within 30 minutes of this taken place, a Government Offical (Husband recognized him as the Secretary of State for Turkey) was already on the scene and addressing the situation, and many people were on their phones with what happened as well.
This act of terror is one of so many, it is hard to count now, in Turkey. I hope that we stop giving notice to those terrorist groups, and call htem for what they are. Cowards. They are terrorists, but don't deserve for the media to say who they are. So far, people are specualting, but thinking that Da'esh is responsible.
One man that spoke to the camera, in turkish said that he was going to the Duty Free store to buy some alcohol, when all the sudden he heard the bombs go off, and most of the bottles in the store came crashing to the floor, everyone in the store was terrified, and they knew it was bombs going off.
This is one of the many terrorists attacks, whose lives have been taken (most over 150 lives) in the past year, and this year alone Turkey has been suffering so far, 5 attacks before this one on the 28th of June 2016. Of course those are reported attacks, and who is to say there have been more.
Turkish Citizens: Our heart and prayers are with you and your family at this horrible time in history.
According to reports from eye witnesses, and employees of the airport (who were also eye witnesses) A man was in the International Arrivals leaving the airport, and had to check in his baggage through airport security. He was getting aggitated because he wanted to get through quickly. However, the airport security asked for him to please be paitent as they were looking in the scanner in his bag. The man threw some hand grenades into the where his bag was (the bag was a bomb inside,) and burst through the security line yelling and throwing more hand grenades.He had an assult weapon and was firing it as well. He had strapped to himself a bomb and as he was yelling and throwing hand grenades, he blew himself up. Others at the scene said there were two people, and one was firing assult weapon while the other was throwing hand grenades.The one who was firing the A-K 47, ran around, and would try to shoot anyone he could see. There was no method of whom he was shooting at. Eye witnesses said when he was done shooting, he simply turned, walked down the escalator, and went out of the airport (there is a metro in the lowest floor the airport, most likely to catch a metro?) One man tried to grab, and threw down the suicide bomber who had explosives under his vest. 60 (count may go higher) people died, and more than 125 people were severely injured, more than several people were in critically injured. The largest marjority amoung the dead were Turkish Citizens.
Within 30 minutes of this taken place, a Government Offical (Husband recognized him as the Secretary of State for Turkey) was already on the scene and addressing the situation, and many people were on their phones with what happened as well.
This act of terror is one of so many, it is hard to count now, in Turkey. I hope that we stop giving notice to those terrorist groups, and call htem for what they are. Cowards. They are terrorists, but don't deserve for the media to say who they are. So far, people are specualting, but thinking that Da'esh is responsible.
One man that spoke to the camera, in turkish said that he was going to the Duty Free store to buy some alcohol, when all the sudden he heard the bombs go off, and most of the bottles in the store came crashing to the floor, everyone in the store was terrified, and they knew it was bombs going off.
This is one of the many terrorists attacks, whose lives have been taken (most over 150 lives) in the past year, and this year alone Turkey has been suffering so far, 5 attacks before this one on the 28th of June 2016. Of course those are reported attacks, and who is to say there have been more.
Turkish Citizens: Our heart and prayers are with you and your family at this horrible time in history.
Now That Britian Is Gone...
Well, the people voted about 4 days ago. Britian is out of the E.U. (is anyone shocked about this? I had been thinking for years they'd leave. I didn't know it would take so long, so I am not in any shock.)
Britian consists of the countries England, Wales,Scotland, and Northern Ireland. (Gibraltar as well, who also voted in the referendum, and is under British Rule)
For those of you who don't know, Britian's people have voted to leave the E.U. It was a really tight vote, with 48.11% of all votes were to Remain in the EU, and 51.89% of those who voted, wanted Britian to leave. This is not the first time they've voted whether or not to stay.
The people who wanted to the E.U. said that the E.U. had a Democratic Deficit and being of member of the E.U. underminded the national sovereinty.
By Leaving the E.U. is would allow Britian to make their better control and make their own decisions on immigration, making less pressure for Brits to find their own jobs within Britian, not have to cover costs to public services such as housing.
The other agrument was that Britian would save billions of pounds in membership fees, allow Britian to make their own trade deals, and free up the U. K. (United Kingdom, Britian) from E.U. regulations and bureaucracy they felt were needless and costly.
Those who were voting to remain in the E.U. argued that with the many supranational organizations the E.U. has, any sovereinty loss was compensated by the benefit of being a member of the EU.
They said leaving the EU would diminish it's influenece over world affairs, jepordize national security for losing the access to the EU's database on criminals entering into the U.K.
Leaving the EU would risk U.K.'s prosperity, and will result in trade barriers between the EU and the UK,and this will result in job losses, and other delays in investments in the UK, and putting businesses at risk as well.
The Financial Markets had a severe reaction to the referendum. Investors lost more than 2 trillion United States Dollars on the 24th of June. This make is the worst single day loss in history. Another effect was the fall of the British Pound, dropping to a 31 year low.
Right after the referendum, internal fights within the governing Conservative Party. Immediately after the results were released, the Prime Minister of six years, David Cameron announced he would resign due to his side having lost the referendum. The Labor Party, because of the results of the referndum, will have many challenges to face in the next few months or weeks.
On the 24th of June 2016, the Scottish Government announced the officials would plan for a "highly likely" second referendum on independence from the United Kingdom inrepsonse to the result, and they will start discussions with the EU institutions and other members, on how the Scottish Government would be able to ensure their membership protetion in the EU.
So, I ask who is next? There are several countries that are already talking about having thier own referendum.
Since I was about to post this yesterday, I have found out that the EU is going to be very harsh on teh United Kingdom for leaving and are considering making it more difficult to allow others to leave it. (Wow... I feel bad for those countries who want to leave... That is NOT Cool EU not cool at all)
Britian consists of the countries England, Wales,Scotland, and Northern Ireland. (Gibraltar as well, who also voted in the referendum, and is under British Rule)
For those of you who don't know, Britian's people have voted to leave the E.U. It was a really tight vote, with 48.11% of all votes were to Remain in the EU, and 51.89% of those who voted, wanted Britian to leave. This is not the first time they've voted whether or not to stay.
The people who wanted to the E.U. said that the E.U. had a Democratic Deficit and being of member of the E.U. underminded the national sovereinty.
By Leaving the E.U. is would allow Britian to make their better control and make their own decisions on immigration, making less pressure for Brits to find their own jobs within Britian, not have to cover costs to public services such as housing.
The other agrument was that Britian would save billions of pounds in membership fees, allow Britian to make their own trade deals, and free up the U. K. (United Kingdom, Britian) from E.U. regulations and bureaucracy they felt were needless and costly.
Those who were voting to remain in the E.U. argued that with the many supranational organizations the E.U. has, any sovereinty loss was compensated by the benefit of being a member of the EU.
They said leaving the EU would diminish it's influenece over world affairs, jepordize national security for losing the access to the EU's database on criminals entering into the U.K.
Leaving the EU would risk U.K.'s prosperity, and will result in trade barriers between the EU and the UK,and this will result in job losses, and other delays in investments in the UK, and putting businesses at risk as well.
The Financial Markets had a severe reaction to the referendum. Investors lost more than 2 trillion United States Dollars on the 24th of June. This make is the worst single day loss in history. Another effect was the fall of the British Pound, dropping to a 31 year low.
Right after the referendum, internal fights within the governing Conservative Party. Immediately after the results were released, the Prime Minister of six years, David Cameron announced he would resign due to his side having lost the referendum. The Labor Party, because of the results of the referndum, will have many challenges to face in the next few months or weeks.
On the 24th of June 2016, the Scottish Government announced the officials would plan for a "highly likely" second referendum on independence from the United Kingdom inrepsonse to the result, and they will start discussions with the EU institutions and other members, on how the Scottish Government would be able to ensure their membership protetion in the EU.
So, I ask who is next? There are several countries that are already talking about having thier own referendum.
Since I was about to post this yesterday, I have found out that the EU is going to be very harsh on teh United Kingdom for leaving and are considering making it more difficult to allow others to leave it. (Wow... I feel bad for those countries who want to leave... That is NOT Cool EU not cool at all)
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Dear Any Politician
We (I) are angry. Here all you Congressmen (women) and All you Democratics and Republicans are spouting out words in anger to each other like Spoiled Divorced Parents while we, the Citizens which who YOU work for (Remember For the People By the People?) are sitting here, watching you. We hate that this our Beautiful Country has come to This. There is no value in your word anymore. There is hurt and pain from many of your citizens because of you. As The Republican Party sits and uncomfortably squirms in their dirty diaper and The Democratic Part has decided to support Hillary Clinton, whose husband was impeached and who has direct link to the Murder and Terrorist Attacks on The 11th of September 2012 in the Embassy at Benghazi, WE stand here and look at our two candidates that YOU have created. You our political leaders. What happened to "We pledge our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor..." You political leaders are in every way responsible for the two Chimpanzees we are given to vote for. I declare (with not much people reading this) I have more whits than ANY of the candidates in this election. I have more honor and integrity in my brain damaged head than anyone of the politicians in YEARS. I have more knowledge and have lived (not just visited but LIVED) in countries to see how humans really are. I love my country. My America. I had all my life been to July 4th Parades, remember our Bicentennial (1976). And eating watermelon after the parades. The only difference between me and you, the leaders of this nation is, I don't come from wealth. I don't come from cheap whorish ideas that would burden and plunder this country into the ruins it is. I have a conscience. If you did, GOP! Take off that diaper and make a stand! Make it! Tell the world you know how dangerous Donald Trump is. Tell us how you REALLY feel about Hillary Close nation. Stop squirming and get this nation out of our hell hole YOU made!! Stop sleeping with the Lobbyists! Stop allowing all this madness to happen!! Our countries Fathers are turning in their graves!! While you stomp and yell and laugh at each other, while you wine and dine our country into the ruins, while you have rubbed elbows with the trashy celebrities instead of talking and meeting with other countries leaders, we U.S.Citizens, are begging you to grow the (deF-Word) UP!!!
Stop playing the blame game and look at us, the citizens of America. Stop all this. Stop having big parties in our White House that brings in trash! Stop allowing the White House be infiltrated with Presidents whose Wives Steal artwork, furniture, and anything not nailed down!! Stop defacating in our yards! Clean up your garbage and get your acts together!!!
Grow a pair of coconuts and GET THIS NATION GRAND AGAIN! The world is watching us, and they are laughing at us!! People don't want associations with is any more! (Ok for the last 30 years)
Stop looking and pointing!! Just Do It Right!! I (We!) can't take this!! Come on all you Senators with great Power, Orrin Hatch, John McCain (really, guys??? Too busy with your own state? You can't get our nations sewer out the door????)
Just Do It Right this time.
And Voters::: I'm not even going to asks loaded question as to WHISKEY TANGO FOX... Seriously.
Life is hard. Life is Harder When You're Stupid.
I'm out. Get your Garbage Together.
Stop playing the blame game and look at us, the citizens of America. Stop all this. Stop having big parties in our White House that brings in trash! Stop allowing the White House be infiltrated with Presidents whose Wives Steal artwork, furniture, and anything not nailed down!! Stop defacating in our yards! Clean up your garbage and get your acts together!!!
Grow a pair of coconuts and GET THIS NATION GRAND AGAIN! The world is watching us, and they are laughing at us!! People don't want associations with is any more! (Ok for the last 30 years)
Stop looking and pointing!! Just Do It Right!! I (We!) can't take this!! Come on all you Senators with great Power, Orrin Hatch, John McCain (really, guys??? Too busy with your own state? You can't get our nations sewer out the door????)
Just Do It Right this time.
And Voters::: I'm not even going to asks loaded question as to WHISKEY TANGO FOX... Seriously.
Life is hard. Life is Harder When You're Stupid.
I'm out. Get your Garbage Together.
BARFI! Bollywood Movie Review
I saw a movie that just touched my soul. It is called BARFI!
The movie is set in Darjeeling in the 1970's, about a young deaf and mute man named Murphy "Barfi" Johnson. His parents were from Nepal, but went to Darjeeling to raise a family. Barfi's mom died when he was an infant, leaving his father to raise him. Barfi's father was a chauffer, and Barfi was the town troublemaker, playing practical jokes on people, cutting down lamposts, and getting chased by Sudhanshu Dutta (the local police officer). When Barfi is about 20, he meets Shruti Ghosh, as Shruti's family moved into Darjeeling. Shruti was engaged to Ranjit Sengupta, who she is to marry in three months. Barfi is immediately love smitten by Shruti. And, it doesn't take long for Shruti to fall in love with Barfi.
Shruti's mother talks Shruti into not persuing Barfi and to marry a more wealthy Ranjit.
Meanwhile, Barfi's father becomes ill, and Barfi has to come up with the money to regain his health. Barfi tries robbing a bank and, that failed, so he decided to kidnap his childhood friend, Jhimil Chattergee, also an heiress to her grandfather's wealth. When Barfi went to kidnap her, he discovered she was already kidnapped, and pronounced dead.
I will stop here with the plot, and not give away the story.
This is a love story with heartache, laughter, joy, sadness, and so very touching. I absolutely recommend this movie. Because parts are grim, and the content might be intense, parents might want to watch the movie and make a decision. .
The cinemaphotography is just spectacular, the directing was fabulous,the producer, Basu, just opened this beautiful window and breathed life onto the screen. The actors were just perfect for the roles, and Ranbir Kahpoor playing Barfi was absolutely stunning, playing a deaf and mute young man, while Priyanka Chapora was perfect as an autistic girl. She said that there is not much known about Autism in India so she had to go online and watch many behaviors to get it right. She also visited children who were in schools in India so she could get the role right. I like her in other movoies, and she is quite famous in Bollywood films, but this one, in my opinion is her best role yet.
The soundtrack is GREAT and you can buy the songs on iTunes. (Which I did in ten minutes into the movie). Arjit Singh is one of my favorite singers because his voice is so beautiful.
I have never seen a movie that had so much impact, and is a movie I could watch over and over and not tire watching it.
I also have not known a movie that could make me cry and laugh so much at the same time.
Until next time
The movie is set in Darjeeling in the 1970's, about a young deaf and mute man named Murphy "Barfi" Johnson. His parents were from Nepal, but went to Darjeeling to raise a family. Barfi's mom died when he was an infant, leaving his father to raise him. Barfi's father was a chauffer, and Barfi was the town troublemaker, playing practical jokes on people, cutting down lamposts, and getting chased by Sudhanshu Dutta (the local police officer). When Barfi is about 20, he meets Shruti Ghosh, as Shruti's family moved into Darjeeling. Shruti was engaged to Ranjit Sengupta, who she is to marry in three months. Barfi is immediately love smitten by Shruti. And, it doesn't take long for Shruti to fall in love with Barfi.
Shruti's mother talks Shruti into not persuing Barfi and to marry a more wealthy Ranjit.
Meanwhile, Barfi's father becomes ill, and Barfi has to come up with the money to regain his health. Barfi tries robbing a bank and, that failed, so he decided to kidnap his childhood friend, Jhimil Chattergee, also an heiress to her grandfather's wealth. When Barfi went to kidnap her, he discovered she was already kidnapped, and pronounced dead.
I will stop here with the plot, and not give away the story.
This is a love story with heartache, laughter, joy, sadness, and so very touching. I absolutely recommend this movie. Because parts are grim, and the content might be intense, parents might want to watch the movie and make a decision. .
The cinemaphotography is just spectacular, the directing was fabulous,the producer, Basu, just opened this beautiful window and breathed life onto the screen. The actors were just perfect for the roles, and Ranbir Kahpoor playing Barfi was absolutely stunning, playing a deaf and mute young man, while Priyanka Chapora was perfect as an autistic girl. She said that there is not much known about Autism in India so she had to go online and watch many behaviors to get it right. She also visited children who were in schools in India so she could get the role right. I like her in other movoies, and she is quite famous in Bollywood films, but this one, in my opinion is her best role yet.
The soundtrack is GREAT and you can buy the songs on iTunes. (Which I did in ten minutes into the movie). Arjit Singh is one of my favorite singers because his voice is so beautiful.
I have never seen a movie that had so much impact, and is a movie I could watch over and over and not tire watching it.
I also have not known a movie that could make me cry and laugh so much at the same time.
Until next time
Sunday, June 12, 2016
Voting 2016
So, I normally don't use this blog as a platform for America's Political Campaign, however, I must say something.
There is not one person worthy of a vote. I propose, if you are a wise American, you must know to write in a Vote. I am following suit with many Senators, and other wise Political Leaders, and writing in my vote.
So, I say write in your vote. You can write in anything you want. Heck, put your pet's name on the ballot! But, Please, vote and just write in the person you will hope to become president. (I for one think my grandkids will make a better President) You'll be surprized what will happen.
Peace, All!
There is not one person worthy of a vote. I propose, if you are a wise American, you must know to write in a Vote. I am following suit with many Senators, and other wise Political Leaders, and writing in my vote.
So, I say write in your vote. You can write in anything you want. Heck, put your pet's name on the ballot! But, Please, vote and just write in the person you will hope to become president. (I for one think my grandkids will make a better President) You'll be surprized what will happen.
Peace, All!
Monday, June 6, 2016
EU, EU... What Are You Up To Now?
A few days ago, Reuters had an article that head lined read "EU hate speech deal shows mounting pressures over internet content blocking". The Areticle written by Yasmeen Abutalebwent on to explain how, last Tuesday an agreement by four major US internet companies were going to block illegal hate speech from their services in Europe within 24 hours.
Freedom of Speech.
Why is that significant but, it didn't make larger headlines here in USA? Is it because we are trying to tame our own monkeys here that we missed this?
I understand, there is a tough topic Freedom Of Speech. In USA where we have our First Amendment Constitutional Right is Freedom Of Speech. Allow me to write it here.
"Amendment I: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the the free excersize thereof; of abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."
I do have a redress of grievances, that is for sure. Ok, one is a lie. I have a list.
But, I am talking about the Freedom of Speech.
I understand that in the EU, they have laws and have to uphold those laws. They will be different than the laws of our land here in USA. The EU made a decision to shut down any hate speeches on places like Facebook, or in the internet platforms. There is freedom of speech and there is, "Whiskey Tango Fox, What did that person just say?!" Like some of our now choice of pickings for the big disgrace of what we call our Elections coming up. (You all know of who I refer to)
I was thinking about this the other day. Freedom of Speech, I had to remove a couple of my kids back in the day, from the grocery store, and, had to go as far as not allowing one child for over two years to go in public with me, because of his potty mouth. I had to be very strategic, he'd have to go spend time with his grandpa, or wait for my older son (a teenager) to stay with him. Now, it was only me that he had a potty mouth around. He was a perfect kid around other people. He thought it was just hilarious that he would shout of these embarrassing things in the store. So, when I realized this, instead of changing my day for him, I would bring him and pretend I could not hear him. If I got bad looks from any one I would roll my eyes and say, "Day Care kids!" and immediately, they would have an empathetic look, and say, "hang in there, sweetie".
The internet brings out the worst in people. To be honest with you, there are the most stupid people, least talented people become famous over night, and people say and do the most idiotic things on the internet they otherwise would not do or say. I almost like that for once someone is addressing hate speeches. I am not sure I would go as far as to say that they should block all hate speeches though. The reason being? Because I hate some people. I do. I feel they should be hated. I would stand publicly and announce to the world the people I hate. I would, if I were on Facebook, Instagram (etc, But I am not because they are really stupid social media outlets), etc and I would announce who I hate. I would start with many world leaders. Past or Presently. I would start with people that are admired from many partts of the world. I would then end with two people I know personally. Is that really a crime?
The people that are cyber bullied (I have been cyber bullied, and that person sealed said person's fate on any further relation to me) should have protection. There are people that, once they have a phone and have a social media app on the phone should never ever have a social media profile. Heck, some people should never be allowed on the internet at all. But, then I would be anti- freedom of speech. Maybe we could allow those people to live in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean on a man made Island (United Arab Emirates does an excellent job with making those Islands) and we could just ship all the idiots that post stupid things on the social media to the island with out internet conncetion for three years. It would be nice. They would have to walk around with a big cork board and post their comments and their opinions on that. That would be awesome for people who are not psycho. HAHAHA That was funny.
I am not surprised that the EU has come down to that, though. Look at how ethnic groups in the EU are treated. Just August of 2010, France ordered the expulsion of over 8,500 Roma people. At the time President Nicolas Sarkozy was the one who ordered it and backed it. This was not mentioned in the news here, right? Did France get any form of retribution from the EU for kicking out the Roma people? It was a disgrace for sure. Look how the Bulgarians are treated in the EU. The Greeks were inducted into the EU and then the EU wanted them out, because they were going through one of the worst financial crisis they have seen in decades. (For you people that don't know what happened, think of the Great Depression of America and times it by 50). The EU has also been extremely reluctant to help the Syrian people. In fact, Turkey and The Hashimite Kingdom of Jordan have been the most able to help. Yet, the EU has been really slow about helping them. In fact, they even closed the boarders for Syrians to come in, and did not provide help to aid Turkey in the camps that Turkey has been helping them in the last 5 years or more.
So, the EU wants to take away freedom of speech from the internet. It that what the people want? Hate is hate. Hate speeches are awful, but where do you draw the line? First it will be internet, then books, then TV, then the news... Think of what will happen if the EU follows through with this. Turkey was highly criticized from the EU because of it's ban on YouTube, and that was 5 years ago. They were also critical of Turkish Government (Namely Reciyyip Ergoan) for throwing journalists in prison for speaking their mind, and they were very critical of Erdogan! Actually, it is such a double standard here. Because Erdogan said that the journalists were spreading rumors and writing hate speeches about him! Now the EU wants to take away the peoples right to say things on the internet. It is really a huge double standard. Like I said, I actually don't like social media. I have been off Facebook for quite sometime now and I am off Twitter for over three years, I deactivated my Instagram, and I am really happy about it. My husband is not on social media for over three years now also. But, there are people that get the news from Twitter, and how my husband and I were able to follow what was happening in Syria as it was happening, we went onto a social media outlet because journalists and internet was cut off from the people, but htey had cell phones and we were able to witness what was really happening.
I can't advise my dear readers in the EU who need their freedom of speech, because I am not a lawyer. But I can say this, Americans always said, "If it happens in Europe, We will follow." Americans beware. Don't follow Europe on this one.
Peace All!
I was thinking about this the other day. Freedom of Speech, I had to remove a couple of my kids back in the day, from the grocery store, and, had to go as far as not allowing one child for over two years to go in public with me, because of his potty mouth. I had to be very strategic, he'd have to go spend time with his grandpa, or wait for my older son (a teenager) to stay with him. Now, it was only me that he had a potty mouth around. He was a perfect kid around other people. He thought it was just hilarious that he would shout of these embarrassing things in the store. So, when I realized this, instead of changing my day for him, I would bring him and pretend I could not hear him. If I got bad looks from any one I would roll my eyes and say, "Day Care kids!" and immediately, they would have an empathetic look, and say, "hang in there, sweetie".
The internet brings out the worst in people. To be honest with you, there are the most stupid people, least talented people become famous over night, and people say and do the most idiotic things on the internet they otherwise would not do or say. I almost like that for once someone is addressing hate speeches. I am not sure I would go as far as to say that they should block all hate speeches though. The reason being? Because I hate some people. I do. I feel they should be hated. I would stand publicly and announce to the world the people I hate. I would, if I were on Facebook, Instagram (etc, But I am not because they are really stupid social media outlets), etc and I would announce who I hate. I would start with many world leaders. Past or Presently. I would start with people that are admired from many partts of the world. I would then end with two people I know personally. Is that really a crime?
The people that are cyber bullied (I have been cyber bullied, and that person sealed said person's fate on any further relation to me) should have protection. There are people that, once they have a phone and have a social media app on the phone should never ever have a social media profile. Heck, some people should never be allowed on the internet at all. But, then I would be anti- freedom of speech. Maybe we could allow those people to live in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean on a man made Island (United Arab Emirates does an excellent job with making those Islands) and we could just ship all the idiots that post stupid things on the social media to the island with out internet conncetion for three years. It would be nice. They would have to walk around with a big cork board and post their comments and their opinions on that. That would be awesome for people who are not psycho. HAHAHA That was funny.
I am not surprised that the EU has come down to that, though. Look at how ethnic groups in the EU are treated. Just August of 2010, France ordered the expulsion of over 8,500 Roma people. At the time President Nicolas Sarkozy was the one who ordered it and backed it. This was not mentioned in the news here, right? Did France get any form of retribution from the EU for kicking out the Roma people? It was a disgrace for sure. Look how the Bulgarians are treated in the EU. The Greeks were inducted into the EU and then the EU wanted them out, because they were going through one of the worst financial crisis they have seen in decades. (For you people that don't know what happened, think of the Great Depression of America and times it by 50). The EU has also been extremely reluctant to help the Syrian people. In fact, Turkey and The Hashimite Kingdom of Jordan have been the most able to help. Yet, the EU has been really slow about helping them. In fact, they even closed the boarders for Syrians to come in, and did not provide help to aid Turkey in the camps that Turkey has been helping them in the last 5 years or more.
So, the EU wants to take away freedom of speech from the internet. It that what the people want? Hate is hate. Hate speeches are awful, but where do you draw the line? First it will be internet, then books, then TV, then the news... Think of what will happen if the EU follows through with this. Turkey was highly criticized from the EU because of it's ban on YouTube, and that was 5 years ago. They were also critical of Turkish Government (Namely Reciyyip Ergoan) for throwing journalists in prison for speaking their mind, and they were very critical of Erdogan! Actually, it is such a double standard here. Because Erdogan said that the journalists were spreading rumors and writing hate speeches about him! Now the EU wants to take away the peoples right to say things on the internet. It is really a huge double standard. Like I said, I actually don't like social media. I have been off Facebook for quite sometime now and I am off Twitter for over three years, I deactivated my Instagram, and I am really happy about it. My husband is not on social media for over three years now also. But, there are people that get the news from Twitter, and how my husband and I were able to follow what was happening in Syria as it was happening, we went onto a social media outlet because journalists and internet was cut off from the people, but htey had cell phones and we were able to witness what was really happening.
I can't advise my dear readers in the EU who need their freedom of speech, because I am not a lawyer. But I can say this, Americans always said, "If it happens in Europe, We will follow." Americans beware. Don't follow Europe on this one.
Peace All!
Head Injuries through My Observation
Dear Readers;
About three months ago I was in an accident at work. I was getting juice out of a trunk style deep freezer, and the door slammed on my left side of my head. I do not remember much of what happened after that, I do remember the following
I was in deep pain when it hit my head, because there was a metal lock poking out of the door. This part hit my head.
I notified my boss within five minutes after it slammed on my head, telling her I have severe pain.
I went home that night with increasing pain
I know I went to work the next day, and I don't remember much of that day. It was on a Thursday, and it was Saint Patrick's Day, and I know I spoke with my with my family because it was my granddaughter's birthday.
I know Friday, the 18th was my day off, and I went to the Dr on that day because I thought I might have had a concussion.
I was diagnosed with a concussion on the 18th of March.
I continued to work until the night of the 22nd of March. It was becoming too much for me to work, and so I started getting Dr. notes saying I could not work. I got a note from my job saying I needed a note from the Dr saying tha tI needed a note to come back to work.
On the 23rd, my pain was so bad, and I realized I could not get my words out properly. I started stuttering on the 22nd but it got worse on the 23rd. I went to the ER because I was told by my Physician that their C.T. Scan machine was closed, and I needed a C.T. Scan. And so, I went to the E.R. as directed from my Physician.
At the E.R. I was diagnosed with Post Concussive Syndrome. (P.C.S.) I found that of all the reported concussions, 15% of those people suffer from P.C.S., and of those 15% with P.C.S. only 1% suffer from the speech and severity I have. So, in essence, I won the Lottery. I just won the WRONG Lottery.. (Yes, that was meant to be funny.)
I have in the past, as a child, had some things that have probably perpetuated my stuttering. I did indeed have a small stutter problem. It was more profound when I was away from my mom, but as I got to the age of 10, I taught myself how to not stutter because I sat and watched a documentary on the B.Y.U. channel about kids who stutter. I was excited with this information, and asked my dad to bring home a book from the B.Y.U. Library (He was a professor in the Psychology Department). My dad did bring a book home and I began to teach myself how to not stutter. With just a few techniques, I was able to hide my stuttering and I was able to keep it under control. Every once in a while, it would resurface. The times it would come to light was under emotional times: If I was upset, annoyed, angry, frustrated, extremely happy or excited... Those times it would resurface, and I would have to go back to the techniques. In no certain circumstances did I ever recieve help from friends to get my stuttering in check. I want that point to be clear.
As I got older and started having kids on my own, that is when mystuttering was tried to the very intense extreme. But even then I was able to keep it in check with humor, and I knew my kids were just trying to see how far they could get me to stutter. (Regular kids stuff)
Now, back to my injury.
I have noticed there are a couple of people I know personally, who to no fault of their own, are continually focused or even hyper focused on my stuttering. In fact, they are insistant that I need to be cured of my stuttering and right away! It is as if I have some good wishers who really think I just turn off the stutter. Even, has gone as far as said that "Well, you know the techniques from before, you can use those techniques now!"
I just want to say to all my readers who know someone with P.C.S. or Traumatic Brian Injury (T.B.I.) a few things I have discovered about myself, and I think some of these feeling apply to those with T.B.I.
We are the same person in our brain
We feel like in our head, we can do everything we could do before the trauma to our head occured. We just can't execute what we feel, think, understand sometimes. We are in there. We can not get us out. We wake up every morning with either no sleep, lacking sleep or rested completely thinking, today is it! We can do everything we could do before. But, when we get out of bed, and start on our day, we realize, we aren't 100% the way we were. And we are saddened, frustrated, and begin to doubt ourself because we don't feel normal but we are the same person, yet, not.
We are frustrated
It is frustrating being our normal self and literally the next day or within hours of our head trauma, we are not. It is more than frustrating. It makes us want to scream, cry, hit a pillow. We want to be our before-the- accident- selves! We want that so badly. We know we are as I said, the same inside, and yet, different because of hte head trauma, and it is frustrating. We still look like the same person. When we talk to others or others talk to us, we may even sound like the same person... (exception of severe cases like my stuttering, but most people don't have that) So, we get more frustrating because people don't understand what we are trying to get out of our heads. We end up shutting down and going to our own reclusive place because we are so frustrated and we feel like people say "I understand" but they really don't.
The trauma to our head wears us down
Think of this: Mind, Body, Soul. All connceting together with the world around us. Everything spins in perfect order. There is a balance in all things. Then we get T.B.I. and it changes everything. How? Our brain is connceted in every function of our organs. From the way we breathe, to the way our kidneys function, and every sense we have, we are told what they our from our brain. We smell chocolate chip cookies in the oven baking, our brain says that is what they are. We read words and know what they are, because our brain tells us what they are. We have an itch, we scratch because our brain says "I have an itch" we don't notice that our brain controls our breathing, when we blink, everything is controlled by our brain. So, a person gets T.B.I. and it's game change and all the sudden we are thrown completely off balance. We can not think clearly sometimes, emotionally we can't handle it, not because we aren't able to but our brain is over stimulated. Light kills our head, we hear ringing in our ears, we feel the ground shake when it isn't shaking. (Yes, that happens to me often) We sometimes can't smell the same we used to. Because of the smell, things we used to love doesn't taste well. (I taste blood and metal: try to find something appetizing with blood and metal) Cucumbers now taste like rotting dead fish. I LOVE CUCUMBERS (yes, i cried.) So, this wears us mentally, psychologically, emotionally, and yes, our spirit feels broken sometimes because sometimes people just don't understand that about us.
We want to get better
Sometimes I have heard of me, that I use my T.B.I. as an excuse or a crutch. I think the thing is here, is that people who knew me before and now, just don't really understand what T.B.I. is. They don't realize that it can be pretty serious, and that people can heal fromo it, but sometimes it takes a year, sometimes three years, and sometimes three months. Neurologists don't know when someone heals, and why it varies from patient to patient. Most people with concussions with in a couple days after the head blow, they are fine. Football players (American Football, my readers), are one of hte highest risks of getting T.B.I. and it is rather ignored in High School or Grade School, about the risks. You know parents, when you sign that form before your son plays American Football, the fine print might have a warning of T.B.I. and that is a risk you are willing to give your child. Other sports are Boxing, Wrestling... Actually let's save time. Any or ALL contact sports. And then there are other things. The more concussions you get the higher risk of T.B.I. My grandpa was a Pro Boxer and won many boxing matches. My grandpa also got lots of blows to the head. He did in fact get Alzheimers. The Doctors now directly relate Alzheimers, and many other Neurological prpoblems with many concussions and even T.B.I., in some cases. This doesn't mean that you will get it, but your risk of many demenetia and other problems can be the cause of T.B.I. Us people with T.B.I. want to get better. We don't want the frustrations and the stress, we want to get better.
Memory loss is very common with TBI
I've got an excellent memory. I never had a problem with my memory. I have to write everything down, and I write the most important things on a mirror with a Dry Erase Marker. for me, this is the easiest way to remember. There might be other ways for my readers to remember. I have tried using my smart phone to do the helping me. I am old fashioned. I have to write it with my hand to remember better. But, that is me. Some of my readers might have to type it in their notes in their smart phone. I use my smart phone for other things, like how to get home, in case I forget, which can happen. I also use an alarm to remind me to drink water (recall, I have no hunger, thirst, nor full feelings, at least, my brain can't tell me those things, right now). So, it is frustrating for both the person who has TBI and those family members that say over and over... OK you need to be here at this time this place, and it is very possible too much information that they are taking in their brain, cannot allow them to compute so many things at one time. I once had a conversation on my messaging with my mom, my sister, a friend, and two of my daughters, all at the same time. In a normal situation, I can multi-task, and answer everyone all at once without skipping a beat. I have noticed that This is not the case. I got so frustrated, I became incoherent to everyone I was talking with, and no one unerstood me, nor did I know what to think or say. I was coherent to myself! I had to stop, write everyone, I was having a moment of not undderstanding everyone, and I was confused. I asked each one of my conversations to please give me a minute to gather my thoughts. All the while I was crying because it was so much, I could not understand why I felt overwhelmed, and I felt just exhausted. My mom, friend, mom and sister understood. I focused on one person at a time and was able to pull myself through it. Everyone is different like I said. Maybe some poeple with TBI can function better than me, or some not as well as I (I don't think I am fuctioning that well, but I am trying). So, I ask to please be paitent with your loved one if the person is suffering through the TBI. It is sensory overload sometimes, and it is easier to get through those times when there is patience involved, which is the hardest part of all this, Patience. But is works, for me.
Stuttering or speech problems
As I stated earlier, my stutter is directly relation to the P.C.S.
People who have T.B.I. and have a speech problem relation to the injury, have to have different Speech therapy than that of a person who has an impediment from a Psychological issue. Also, it is good to note that the metal lock did not split my head open. It is a closed head injury. They are treated in speech therapy than those who are suffering with TBI who say, have suffered an open head injury (a bullet in the head for example) There are many other varibles, such as nerve damage and where it is, what nerves are damaged, the list goes on. So, that is where speech pathologists come in. They can acertain how to approach the therapy. Sometimes if it is too severe, the speech may not return to normal. I say this because I get many comments from well wishers, "You taught yourself before, come on! Just say it!" This is never helpful. Because I stutter one word in one sentence, and the next sentence I can say it better, it's not because I don't know when to not stutter. It means the word before or the word after doesn't roll or flow off my tongue easily. In fact, it is really hard for me to use words together one syllable or three. Also, no, I can not sing, and please don't ask me to. I miss singing, I miss talking, it was my livelyhood (I translated for a Turkish boy from English to Turkish and vice vera) I can not get my English words out. Turkish is more flowing because it is a medolic language and English is a gutteral language, and so I can speak Turkish Ok, but it is in another part of my brain, too because it isn't my first language. It might be different for someone else in all of this blog. Everyone is different and every symptom is different to a TBI.
In any casse, I hope this helps someone out there either suffering with a TBI or you're reading this because you have a loved one with a TBI. If you have an questions directed to me about my condition, or want to know more of how this is all coming to place for me, you can certainly leave a comment below, I will answer you based on what I am going through, which hopefully can help you in return.
Peace Everyone!
About three months ago I was in an accident at work. I was getting juice out of a trunk style deep freezer, and the door slammed on my left side of my head. I do not remember much of what happened after that, I do remember the following
I was in deep pain when it hit my head, because there was a metal lock poking out of the door. This part hit my head.
I notified my boss within five minutes after it slammed on my head, telling her I have severe pain.
I went home that night with increasing pain
I know I went to work the next day, and I don't remember much of that day. It was on a Thursday, and it was Saint Patrick's Day, and I know I spoke with my with my family because it was my granddaughter's birthday.
I know Friday, the 18th was my day off, and I went to the Dr on that day because I thought I might have had a concussion.
I was diagnosed with a concussion on the 18th of March.
I continued to work until the night of the 22nd of March. It was becoming too much for me to work, and so I started getting Dr. notes saying I could not work. I got a note from my job saying I needed a note from the Dr saying tha tI needed a note to come back to work.
On the 23rd, my pain was so bad, and I realized I could not get my words out properly. I started stuttering on the 22nd but it got worse on the 23rd. I went to the ER because I was told by my Physician that their C.T. Scan machine was closed, and I needed a C.T. Scan. And so, I went to the E.R. as directed from my Physician.
At the E.R. I was diagnosed with Post Concussive Syndrome. (P.C.S.) I found that of all the reported concussions, 15% of those people suffer from P.C.S., and of those 15% with P.C.S. only 1% suffer from the speech and severity I have. So, in essence, I won the Lottery. I just won the WRONG Lottery.. (Yes, that was meant to be funny.)
I have in the past, as a child, had some things that have probably perpetuated my stuttering. I did indeed have a small stutter problem. It was more profound when I was away from my mom, but as I got to the age of 10, I taught myself how to not stutter because I sat and watched a documentary on the B.Y.U. channel about kids who stutter. I was excited with this information, and asked my dad to bring home a book from the B.Y.U. Library (He was a professor in the Psychology Department). My dad did bring a book home and I began to teach myself how to not stutter. With just a few techniques, I was able to hide my stuttering and I was able to keep it under control. Every once in a while, it would resurface. The times it would come to light was under emotional times: If I was upset, annoyed, angry, frustrated, extremely happy or excited... Those times it would resurface, and I would have to go back to the techniques. In no certain circumstances did I ever recieve help from friends to get my stuttering in check. I want that point to be clear.
As I got older and started having kids on my own, that is when mystuttering was tried to the very intense extreme. But even then I was able to keep it in check with humor, and I knew my kids were just trying to see how far they could get me to stutter. (Regular kids stuff)
Now, back to my injury.
I have noticed there are a couple of people I know personally, who to no fault of their own, are continually focused or even hyper focused on my stuttering. In fact, they are insistant that I need to be cured of my stuttering and right away! It is as if I have some good wishers who really think I just turn off the stutter. Even, has gone as far as said that "Well, you know the techniques from before, you can use those techniques now!"
I just want to say to all my readers who know someone with P.C.S. or Traumatic Brian Injury (T.B.I.) a few things I have discovered about myself, and I think some of these feeling apply to those with T.B.I.
We are the same person in our brain
We feel like in our head, we can do everything we could do before the trauma to our head occured. We just can't execute what we feel, think, understand sometimes. We are in there. We can not get us out. We wake up every morning with either no sleep, lacking sleep or rested completely thinking, today is it! We can do everything we could do before. But, when we get out of bed, and start on our day, we realize, we aren't 100% the way we were. And we are saddened, frustrated, and begin to doubt ourself because we don't feel normal but we are the same person, yet, not.
We are frustrated
It is frustrating being our normal self and literally the next day or within hours of our head trauma, we are not. It is more than frustrating. It makes us want to scream, cry, hit a pillow. We want to be our before-the- accident- selves! We want that so badly. We know we are as I said, the same inside, and yet, different because of hte head trauma, and it is frustrating. We still look like the same person. When we talk to others or others talk to us, we may even sound like the same person... (exception of severe cases like my stuttering, but most people don't have that) So, we get more frustrating because people don't understand what we are trying to get out of our heads. We end up shutting down and going to our own reclusive place because we are so frustrated and we feel like people say "I understand" but they really don't.
The trauma to our head wears us down
Think of this: Mind, Body, Soul. All connceting together with the world around us. Everything spins in perfect order. There is a balance in all things. Then we get T.B.I. and it changes everything. How? Our brain is connceted in every function of our organs. From the way we breathe, to the way our kidneys function, and every sense we have, we are told what they our from our brain. We smell chocolate chip cookies in the oven baking, our brain says that is what they are. We read words and know what they are, because our brain tells us what they are. We have an itch, we scratch because our brain says "I have an itch" we don't notice that our brain controls our breathing, when we blink, everything is controlled by our brain. So, a person gets T.B.I. and it's game change and all the sudden we are thrown completely off balance. We can not think clearly sometimes, emotionally we can't handle it, not because we aren't able to but our brain is over stimulated. Light kills our head, we hear ringing in our ears, we feel the ground shake when it isn't shaking. (Yes, that happens to me often) We sometimes can't smell the same we used to. Because of the smell, things we used to love doesn't taste well. (I taste blood and metal: try to find something appetizing with blood and metal) Cucumbers now taste like rotting dead fish. I LOVE CUCUMBERS (yes, i cried.) So, this wears us mentally, psychologically, emotionally, and yes, our spirit feels broken sometimes because sometimes people just don't understand that about us.
We want to get better
Sometimes I have heard of me, that I use my T.B.I. as an excuse or a crutch. I think the thing is here, is that people who knew me before and now, just don't really understand what T.B.I. is. They don't realize that it can be pretty serious, and that people can heal fromo it, but sometimes it takes a year, sometimes three years, and sometimes three months. Neurologists don't know when someone heals, and why it varies from patient to patient. Most people with concussions with in a couple days after the head blow, they are fine. Football players (American Football, my readers), are one of hte highest risks of getting T.B.I. and it is rather ignored in High School or Grade School, about the risks. You know parents, when you sign that form before your son plays American Football, the fine print might have a warning of T.B.I. and that is a risk you are willing to give your child. Other sports are Boxing, Wrestling... Actually let's save time. Any or ALL contact sports. And then there are other things. The more concussions you get the higher risk of T.B.I. My grandpa was a Pro Boxer and won many boxing matches. My grandpa also got lots of blows to the head. He did in fact get Alzheimers. The Doctors now directly relate Alzheimers, and many other Neurological prpoblems with many concussions and even T.B.I., in some cases. This doesn't mean that you will get it, but your risk of many demenetia and other problems can be the cause of T.B.I. Us people with T.B.I. want to get better. We don't want the frustrations and the stress, we want to get better.
Memory loss is very common with TBI
I've got an excellent memory. I never had a problem with my memory. I have to write everything down, and I write the most important things on a mirror with a Dry Erase Marker. for me, this is the easiest way to remember. There might be other ways for my readers to remember. I have tried using my smart phone to do the helping me. I am old fashioned. I have to write it with my hand to remember better. But, that is me. Some of my readers might have to type it in their notes in their smart phone. I use my smart phone for other things, like how to get home, in case I forget, which can happen. I also use an alarm to remind me to drink water (recall, I have no hunger, thirst, nor full feelings, at least, my brain can't tell me those things, right now). So, it is frustrating for both the person who has TBI and those family members that say over and over... OK you need to be here at this time this place, and it is very possible too much information that they are taking in their brain, cannot allow them to compute so many things at one time. I once had a conversation on my messaging with my mom, my sister, a friend, and two of my daughters, all at the same time. In a normal situation, I can multi-task, and answer everyone all at once without skipping a beat. I have noticed that This is not the case. I got so frustrated, I became incoherent to everyone I was talking with, and no one unerstood me, nor did I know what to think or say. I was coherent to myself! I had to stop, write everyone, I was having a moment of not undderstanding everyone, and I was confused. I asked each one of my conversations to please give me a minute to gather my thoughts. All the while I was crying because it was so much, I could not understand why I felt overwhelmed, and I felt just exhausted. My mom, friend, mom and sister understood. I focused on one person at a time and was able to pull myself through it. Everyone is different like I said. Maybe some poeple with TBI can function better than me, or some not as well as I (I don't think I am fuctioning that well, but I am trying). So, I ask to please be paitent with your loved one if the person is suffering through the TBI. It is sensory overload sometimes, and it is easier to get through those times when there is patience involved, which is the hardest part of all this, Patience. But is works, for me.
Stuttering or speech problems
As I stated earlier, my stutter is directly relation to the P.C.S.
People who have T.B.I. and have a speech problem relation to the injury, have to have different Speech therapy than that of a person who has an impediment from a Psychological issue. Also, it is good to note that the metal lock did not split my head open. It is a closed head injury. They are treated in speech therapy than those who are suffering with TBI who say, have suffered an open head injury (a bullet in the head for example) There are many other varibles, such as nerve damage and where it is, what nerves are damaged, the list goes on. So, that is where speech pathologists come in. They can acertain how to approach the therapy. Sometimes if it is too severe, the speech may not return to normal. I say this because I get many comments from well wishers, "You taught yourself before, come on! Just say it!" This is never helpful. Because I stutter one word in one sentence, and the next sentence I can say it better, it's not because I don't know when to not stutter. It means the word before or the word after doesn't roll or flow off my tongue easily. In fact, it is really hard for me to use words together one syllable or three. Also, no, I can not sing, and please don't ask me to. I miss singing, I miss talking, it was my livelyhood (I translated for a Turkish boy from English to Turkish and vice vera) I can not get my English words out. Turkish is more flowing because it is a medolic language and English is a gutteral language, and so I can speak Turkish Ok, but it is in another part of my brain, too because it isn't my first language. It might be different for someone else in all of this blog. Everyone is different and every symptom is different to a TBI.
In any casse, I hope this helps someone out there either suffering with a TBI or you're reading this because you have a loved one with a TBI. If you have an questions directed to me about my condition, or want to know more of how this is all coming to place for me, you can certainly leave a comment below, I will answer you based on what I am going through, which hopefully can help you in return.
Peace Everyone!
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
A Brief Explanation of The Syrian Civil War Crisis
Syrian Citizens joined an uprising, called the Arab Spring. One group of 13 year old boys wrote a collaboration of an essay called “The Government Must Go”. The movement started, and was intended, to be an uprising for democracy. 5 years later, there is a full out war, and over 7 million Syrians are displaced. The crisis of the Syrians losing their land, heritage and culture is going to have lasting effects on the people and the world.
Bashar al- Assad
Bashar al- Assad is a Doctor, trained in Britian who inherited Syria on the death of his father,Hafez al- Assad. Hafez al- Assaad was a harsh and cruel dictator, who claimed Syria in 1971 in a coup d’etat. Bashar at first, would talk about not allowing the citizens to have democracy, however, he would sometimes in speeches hint between changing, and he would go back and forth between the two, of keeping Syria in Dictatorship and Democracy, even sometimes hints of reformation.
On March 15th 2011, Syria joined the uprising. In a small southern town of Syria, students protested the torture and beatings of students who wrote anti-government graffiti. People hit the streets with protests, (my Dena Uzunkaya account had Free Syria as my cover picture... for those of you who might remember) Assad declared Syria a state of emergency a couple of decades before. But, by much of the peoples shock, by April 2011 , Assad had lifted the state eof emergency and within a few days of that, he set off the first of what began to be a series of harsh crackdowns, by sending tanks into the cities more resistant, and “security forces” (Police and Army) opened fire on the demostrators. To many people in the news, he hid behind the lies that said he was trying to restore peace to the demonstrators, in reality he was escalating force, and perpetuated the state that Syria is presently in .
By May of 2011, hundreds of Syrians were leaving their homeland and seeking8 shelter in Turkey. As Bashar Assad’s relenting force was not easing, thousands of soliders of the Syrian Army defected to join the “Rebels”, and the Rebels by this point were called “Terrorists” by the Syrian Government and in a speech by Assad himseslf. These Rebels by this point were not Terrorists. The Syrian news reporters were being captured and tortured by Assad, and so the Syrian people would use their cell phones to record what was happening to them, while Assad blocked access to YouTube and other social medias, Those who knew how to hack and crack the governments code to post things were the ones who were able to show the world what was really going on. This was also the time where Syrian Army (Assad’s Army) were firing missiles into Turkey and in the areas where Syrian refugees were living and going to school. Homes and schools were the main targets, and hundreds of people died, including men, womena nd children. 48 Turkish Soldiers died,a nd were stationed there solely to protect the Syrians and make sure that Syrian Army does not come into Turkey.
December of 2011 The United Nations called the Syrian Crisis on the “verge of civil war”. Again, more Syrians were making their way into Turkey, and the Turkish Prime Minister anncounced the construction of new buildings for the refugees, as the Turkish people could not stand by to see such atrocities. Syrians were fleeing into Jordan or Turkey, as there were no other options for them to go. Some who were wealthier were able to f, and Sunni Muslim. flee to Britian, because they already had homes there, but the majority of the population of Syria are Middle Class Citizens. An opposing Government in exile was formed (In a small town outside Istandbul) called the Syrian National council. But the council’s division has kept Arab and Western Governments to not recognize it. It is not exactly sure when Assad fled Syria, however, he did, with his wife and childrenand is presently residing in Russia. His accounts and assests were frozen by the British Government (where he kept his money) in December of 2011 also. Syria was expelled from the Arab League at this time, because Assad’s refusal to stop fighting with the Syrian people, and his inability to st ore the peace. Assad did agree to allow the Arab League Council to visit and inspect, howeverm their presence did nothing to end the violence.
January 2012
U.S.A., Germany, and many other countries condemned the actions of the Syrian government and called for peace. The U.N. General Asssembly voted to approve of a unbridled crackdown on President Assad’s regime. China and Russia voted against getting involved (WHY Are they in hte UN at all?? Another Blog of mine!) Rumours had been floating around that in Lebanon, Turkey and Jordan Al- Qadea Cells were being formed, and there were evidence found of suicide bombing being planned through out Turkey, Jordan and Lebanon, scaring the reugees to coming. By this time, more than a million refugees had left Syria, and more missiles in Turkey. u.S.A. and The Neatherlands came into Turkey with over 600 of their Soldiers to help defend the borders of Turkey, Iran and Syria.
February 2012
The United Nations General Assembly voted to approve a resolution condeming President Assad on the uprising. China and Russia blocked all efforts for stronger security action (Why the heck are they in the UN? Another Blog!) The refugees became more tense because Al-Qaeda had moved into Jordan, Turkey and Lebanon. Fears were increased when evidence was found to confirm that Al Qeada was involved in suicide bombings in relation to Syria, Turkey and Jordan.
By Summer of 2012, Syrian people had already been suffering for over a year, and Assad’s regime unrelenting. Thousands of soliders from the Syrian Army defected to the people’s side nad began large number of attacks against the government. The conflict had greatly increased the tempo, and in June of 2012 alone, more than 3,000 civilians died. (June 2011 400) This year was also the time the government rages an unrelenting campaign to systemacially wipe out tens of thousands of people that had no opportunity to leave Syria, and were thrown in prison. They are presumed to be dead. Cities throughout Syria opposition had coalesced around army groups. They identified themselves as the Free Syrian Army. From the basis of the Turkish side of the reguees camps, aide had increased, including hospitals, medical care, food and more shelter.
As the rage continues, over the last four years, one Terrorist group is named completely incorrect. People call them “ISIS” This comes from a news reporter and news anchor in U.S.A. that had grossly missed read the prompt. They are I.S.I.L. for the Islamic State of the Levant. This terrorist group is actually using the name of God and religion to kill Muslims, Arabs (Da’esh are NOT all Arabs:: Most are Kurds!!), Iranians,Turks and Shi’ites. They were originally helping the cause of the Syrian people to democracy. They are terrorists though. It is been odd, however, many Germans, Americans and British (some women) have left their homes to fight with Da’esh. There are several people fighting this war. U.S.A., France, the Neatherlands, Britian, Saudi Arabia, and a colation called the Gulf States (Oman, Qatar, United Arab Emirates, and Kuwait) are fighting along side each other. Syrian government is fighting along side of Russia,China (China has been in there since 2011, because my husband and I saw reports of them being there, but hten you don’t hear of them in there. However, there have been reports that China illuded to being there longer than they have admitted before) Hezbollah, Iran are all fighting together. People have said that The Free Syrian Army and Arabs are killing Christians in this War. There are Christian Militias in the war, and they are made of Assyrians, Syriac Arameans, and Armenians. They are fighting along side the Syrian Government. (Poor Christians, right?) They are fighting against American Soldiers...
To date, the Syrian war has displaced 23 million Syrians. Over 7 million refugees, only 4 million have registered as a refugee, but there are over 4 million remaining to register. They are of deep concern to the U.N. most of the refugees are in Turkey, and 1.3 million have been trying to get to Europe, but they are continually being kicked out. 62% of the 1 million in Europe are in Croatia, and Serbia, and Kosvo some Germany (before Germany said no more). 27% refugees able to make it to Europe are residing in Sweden, Austria, Hungary, and Denmark. 11% all other E.U. countries. turkey has continually asked for help and have continually rovided help to the refugees. The U.N. have asked for help. It will cost over 4 billion to help these people. So far the U.N. has raised 997 million in helping the refugees.
Ages of Syrian refugees. 52% of all the Syrian Refugees are ages 0-18. 43% are ages 18-50. the remaining are 50 and older.
The Syrian heritage has been at risk for the last 5 years now. Aleppo is one of the world’s oldest civilizations going back to 4,000 BCE or older, when the Hitties resided there. Damascus was an Ancient city that is over 2,000 years old. Clips and news reels of the anicent city of Palmyra are only pictures now as it was bombed by terrorists.
The Civil War:
USA, Turkey, Gulf States, Islamic Front, Fatah Halab, France, Turkmen, and many other sects.
Iran, Hezbollah, Russia, Syrian Government. (with many sects) And back up by North Korea.
My sources came from all over, and I also had personal experiences seeing it which I documented in my Journal. I also went onto Humanitrain and Civil Rights webpages for the remaining. I have done my best to write this without putting any of my personal feelings to keep it as objective as possible. this is a taste of what I blog about. I treid to not show all the political nuances because Syria has a long history, and this is the shortest version I could come up with to help you realize the severity of what is happening. I am so glad that I mayself have saved many things that were given to me by my exhusband’s mother who would sent me things from Syria. I have been able to help my daughter preserve her heritage this way. Interesting how a few years ago she told me to throw out everything from Syria. I did not listen to her, and now, there are hardly and civilians there now. Anyway, Thank you for reading this.
(My Name Here)
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