My journey

Have you ever thought "I want to be larger than myself" but yet did not know what that meant but just something inside of you wanted to burst with this feeling that your life and your very existence is larger than life?
  Have you also had the feeling at the same time that although you are unique and wonderful and so fabulous but still this world is so big and large and you are one small voice and sometimes just well, insignificant?
 Have you ever had those feelings simultaneously?
Have you ever felt that only you felt those things? 
 Sometimes I feel like I am about to awe myself. I sometimes feel so small and so simple that no one would notice if I existed but then I feel like there is something bigger for me. I do not care about fame, let's face it, I am not 5 anymore getting into my mom's cool clothes and pretending to be an actress::: I never did that anyway. 
  I was always when I pretended, a farmer, a cook, or a beach bum. 
  Right now I am not any of those things, and that is ok too!
When I came here I never thought I would stay this year. At times I think Zippy wanted to ship me home in a box with "Do not return!!! " on the box. 
   I used to think I have loved and lost, and that was enough for me. 
I used to think of the saying over and and over "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". 
 This never settled with me. I am sorry, for all the romantic die hard(s) and my dad is the one that said it to me, I just can not buy it. I know there are many that can disagree with me. 
  I just think of the time I have been hurt or the many times I have hurt. 
  And I have looked all my life for someone. 
 I always wanted a man that was handsome. 
 For the longest time I thought: Love grows and looks is like love.
  OK... girlfriends out there that say that, you know you are bull- pooping! Guys that hear this from a girl.. Never ever believe it. 
  I know now: I am honest with myself and for me: I have to have mutual attraction within the first 5 minutes of meeting. If I do not have that and he does not either: MOVE ON!!! 
  It worked for me
The second thing: 
  I wanted someone genuine
 I really hate lying and the games that go along with it. I wanted someone that came out and told me the truth... Cold raw unadulterated truth. 
  I am  kind of a Love La-La type girl. I am happy a lot and surround myself with happy people. I need to get pulled off Jupiter from time to time and hear the truth.
 Another thing: 
I love black hair and brown eys and olive skin. 
OK... Even just the eyes :)
I always thought about someones heart too::: pure hearted. I need someone with a pure heart. Someone that is just as sweet as me


Also, Someone that loves me and spoils me but not all the time, just sometimes. 

  I have looked all my life. I have been through the dusty path of heart aches and pain and sorrow. 
  At the lowest in my life, Snuggle was there. First in the internet, however, with the last year, this man has captured me, captivated me heart and he has won my key. 
There were parts of my heart that I never knew existed. There are part of my heart that were literally dead before I met Snuggle. 
When I came here I was really close to a brother. Being here I have felt like I have been pushed away from his life. And I will always try to gain his closeness again and I hope that one day he will see that I have not really left him mentally. and I am ALWAYS there for him. But there have been over the last year times where I have missed my family so deeply that I have just cried and he will have me sit on his lap and rock me and play with my hair and he has always told me of how all my family will be so happy when I return to visit. 
  He wants so much for us to be able to go to USA so that I can show him my life, my family my way, my culture and this way we can understand each other. He loves me so deep. 
 He is handsome
 He has the mot sweet heart of anyone I now. His heart is really gold. 
 He is tender too. Snuggle is what I have nicknamed him. He is warm and affectionate. I really do not believe that meeting him is an accident. 
Finding love for me for right now is bigger than myself
 Finding my love and my best friend, my dance partner, my play mate and my soul mate is something that many of my friends my age will never have. He is intelligent which I need. He keeps my mind moving and we can talk about everything and anything and nothing all at once
  Many people think what the heck, Dena, this is just a phase. This is not a fleeting moment for me. This meeting Snuggle Bunny and being here is not an accident it is something bigger that I can not explain. He is so good to me and I hope through my blogs and in my life all that knows me will see I have found the most highest virtue of a man. How grateful I am that he loves me and I really Thank My Heavenly Father for him and his sweet family. 
  They have accepted me and loved me and protect me and have me in their home. Snuggle's brother (Buggle, since it rhymes in real life it has to rhyme in a blog) is protective of me. His fahter is good and kind to me and his grandma is too. His mother is just like my mom and when I am upset with him his mom can see it in my face. She will ask Snuggle... What happened? Snuggle will say... She is upset with me, his mother will not answer, Oh my son, his mother will say::: What did you say to her? Go make things right, watch a happy film and make her happy.
   How could I say no to that??? I am really grateful to have a family that accepted me in such a world that people do not bother with other people. 
  I feel like a princess with him and just... I am so grateful I have found my true love. I will continue this journey I have with this life I have with my true love. 
 I hope you too will one day see how amazing of a journey I have with Snuggle.