Catching up on the last couple weeks.

I have been trying to avoid today, actually. It is the 30th of July. Sadly, it came. This meant that I had to have Connor and Beka go back to Arizona. I thought my heart shattered into a million pieces. In fact if you heard a crashing sound about 9:55 this morning it might have been my heart smashing. 
  Connor, Beka and I had a fun Summer together. I had not seen them for one year and 4 months. I can not tell you how hard it is to not be able to see them. We started off our fun Summer by going to my brother, and his wife's house for the Fourth of July. In Provo. I made my all famous crab cakes, and we had such a great time seeing my family. We then went to Salt Lake City because the next day (on the 5th of July) we went to Logan where Beka went to Y.W. Girls Camp with my sister (kismet: She is the Ward Girls Camp Leader) and her daughters! (Beka needed to spend more time with her cousins and go to Girls Camp! How lovely it all worked out!) My sister took Beka with her to camp and so my father and mother took my nephew, Golden, up to Star Valley Wyoming in a cabin with Connor. We were there for 4 nights. Saturday we came down and went right to North Ogden where we (now Beka Connor and myself) at my friends house that I have known for the last 17 years. All from the fact that her husband would have the biggest cow if she set a beer can (empty) on the counter, the stay was just divine. we stayed from Saturday until Thursday. Shahira came on Wednesday afternoon and so we went on Thursday at noon to my mom's house. She came on Wednesday and left on Sunday afternoon. It was lovely seeing her. We went on Sunday to Jordanelle. It was a blast. 
   Wednesday, the 20th of July Connor and Beka and myself headed up to Eden, Utah, that is an adventure in itself (something in which I  shall blog in the near future). I visited a childhood friend and made a couple of new friends while I was there! It was great seeing her and catching up and reminiscing. It was a needed visit for both of us. 
  I went directly from my childhood friend's house to my sister's house. We (Beka, Connor and me) spent about 4 days in Logan,Utah. We got back yesterday and today Connor and Beka had to get on a plane to Arizona. My idea or plan was to try to find a job here in Utah while I am here. I was hoping that Connor and Beka could have the offer to stay with me if I had a job here and I was looking forward to that. Beka packed all of her clothes thinking that she was going to move into a home with me. She was hoping she would be able to visit her dad and live with me. Connor did too. That kills me the most. It is the hardest part of my life. 
I have two places and two hearts. How do I reconcile that? 
   My love of my life and trying to find where I fit. I love my Snuggle, he is the best thing that happened to me, and I do not ever want to be away from him. 
  And then I have to have a job and home for Connor and Beka to live with me, there is no way around it. So, I had to tell them that because I have no job they must go back to Arizona. 
 I have to say how lucky I am to have the man I have in my life. I could not endure such heart ache if I had not the man I have. 

Adventures over the last Few Days

I have been really having a nice time seeing my family this Summer. 
  I have been able to see many family members that I normally do not get to see and I have been running into friends in the Grocery Store. It has been really nice. 
  I went: After being here a week, to the 4th of July Celebrations, July 5th I went to my sisters house. She let Beka go to her Ward Young Women Camp because my sister is the Camp Director this year for her Ward. We dropped off Beka and picked up Darci's son, Golden. Golden is only 10 but is such a wonderful little boy!
   We (my mom, dad, Golden, Connor and myself) headed up to Star Valley Wyoming to spend a few days. 
 The first night we arrived there it was nice. We got there in the early evening
 One thing I found? I am car sick going up the canyon. (Weird! Never was before)
The Next day we went hiking and found that intermittent springs is not intermittent. It is really swelled and just gushing. 
  We then Went 4 Wheeling and had so much fun. The next day was spent being lazy and shooting the breeze around the cabin because It rained most the day, however, we went 4 wheeling on the last day, Friday. We went into Grover Canyon and we ended up going to the mouth of Jensen Canyon, and went shooting and had a picnic. 
 It was great seeing my ancestors land and my childhood memories spending the summer at the cabin was just wonderful. 
   Jensen Canyon is not accessible to 4 wheelers and Vehicles because of the road conditions. The only practical way is by foot or  horse back. 
  Golden was in too interested in shooting the .22 Caliber Manuel Revolver , however he was excited to find the bones of  a dead animal. We could not find the skull but we found the lower jaw and many teeth, and lost of bones. He was just thrilled to find them.  
   He was sad however to learn he could not keep them in the house. He was supposed to bring them in the Garage and leave them there. 
  Connor and I went on a ride on our own. We went to Salt River and watched how swelled it was. 
I let Connor ride there too. We rode all over the place but I must say I was holding onto him for dear life and yelling: Mind the Post, Mind the sign, Mind the... (Whatever was 3 blocks ahead of us) Finally he patiently said "I can see them!" I just can not believe he will get his permit in two months. 
 We then returned to Utah on the Saturday, the 10th. 
We went to Ogden, Utah. I stayed there with a friend, her and  I have been friends for the last 17 years. She is really having some stress in her life and have some life decisions to make and I hope I have helped her make them. 
I then have only a couple days with Shahira and so I am going to go to the Lake tomorrow. We will go to Jordanelle. 
More pics and blogs are on the way!


  

Day 3 in Utah

Yesterday I woke up later. When I woke, I realized that I was in Utah! 
 That thrilled me. I woke up at about 1:45 in the afternoon. My mom and I went to the Distribution Center for the LDS Church while my dad slept. We came home my dad needed to go to Provo to visit my brother before he heads out to Temple Texas. 
  My mom made the best salad, and taught me this amazing recipe for a salad dressing that Snuggle's mom will love so much. I can not wait to try it on her. 
  I then settled with my mom to watch a movie. We had such a nice time. 
 I feel asleep and woke up a few times in the night but all in all it was a good night sleep for me. 
 When I woke up for the day, on day 2: I woke up realizing: I am in UTAH!!!!
  I jumped out of bed and realized... wait, it is not a dream! 
  I ran down the hallway to tell my mom I am still here! It was so nice!!! 
 Breakfast was Vanilla yogurt and bananas mixed with Granola. 
We went on a bike ride after talking to Snuggle and my mom just LOVES him. My mom wants to meet him face to face. 
   We had such a great bike ride. We rode to the Public Library. This Library is huge and amazing. The structure is almost like a half moon and the front has gardens on it. It is across the street from the City Hall, which looks like a miniature Big Ben. Most of the old and original buildings here in Utah and namely S.L.C. look very European or English influenced as the earlier settlers were mostly from Great Britain and missed their home and so they would try to make it look as close to Great Britain as possible. We had a really good sandwich in the deli there at the Library, and then we headed home. When we got home we realized that we needed to make copies of the Young Women Camp Manuel. My sister is the head of the Young Women Camp for about 80 girls in Logan and her three daughters and my youngest daughter are all going to camp in Logan Canyon this up coming week. 
  I made copies of the manual at the Church history Library where I found some amazing information for Snuggle to help him with finding his Family History in Turkey and Bulgaria! The Family history Library is HUGE and Amazing. I was able to copy the manual for only 7 dollars, which was a 97 page project and they were so nice to me. As I left all the workers there said goodbye to me and so many people are just soooo kind! One thing I noticed is how quiet the drivers are here in Utah. I am so sorry people think they are rude here. I am sure they are. But I heard one honk in the 2 days I have been here. ONE. Normally I hear it every three seconds. The other thing is how I have noticed how kind the workers are at the Church offices. For those of you living in Utah and are not really happy here, I feel sorry for you. You can go to many places in the world though and not find nice people. No one can say that about many of the people in Utah. Of course there are rude and good and bad all over, but I was walking the three blocks to the Church Library and about 15 people said "Hi" to me... 
  I came home and for dinner, mom made the best Chocolate Chip Cookies and Milk... Ever!!! 
 I watched a movie with mom, but fell asleep and woke up an hour ago. 
  I miss Snuggle but am happy to be home too. My mom said she thinks that I have my heart in two places and have a hard time choosing where it should be... with my family in Utah or Snuggle... She hit that one on the nail! 
  Many pictures were taken but I have to figure out the camera deal... Pictures will come...

Home Sweet Home

I have been waiting and waiting to see my family the last year and few months now. 
Sometimes it feels longer then other times it feels like such a short time. 
  I left the Istanbul airport at 5:56 am June 28th. Istanbul time. I arrived 1:35 am June 29th Utah time.  The airport in Istanbul was fine for me. I had no problems with the customs.Packing was an ordeal for me because we were trying to pack the cheapest way possible. I had gifts for all the family and I was worried that I was not going to be able to get everything that I wanted to bring. Anyway, I ended up being able to bring the things I wanted... Just ONE more gift for my mom and I will be done, but I have to send it all
  I went to Amsterdam airport from Istanbul, JFK then on to SLC Airport. 
 I have to say that I really like the Amsterdam airport. They have a Museum in the airport that is quite great actually. 
 Upon arriving there were some Officers waiting for someone that I think had some drugs on her or something because of the search dog, happily sniffing everyone's bag, and the four officers waiting for her at the end of the ramp. 
Getting through security to get on to the flight to the JFK I was frisked, and must say I did not like the female officer frisking me. She was nice and not rude to me in anyway, just I hated how she frisked me. she was supposed to pat me down and that was that, she grabbed my chest and said, "Is anything in there? Wait, ARE THOSE REAL???" Instead of releasing her hands, she kept them there.... I was going to tell my younger sister, Summer about it but I was in the Church Distribution Center in Downtown SLC and thought although, it is kind of funny the people there would not think so hehe. 
  So it was on to the JFK. I was in there for just a couple hours, but it was great to be able to connect online and see Erkan. 
  I liked that part. 
 Then we went on the plane to Utah. We sat on the concord for 2.5 hours and waited because a huge thunderstorm came in and grounded a lot of flights for those two hours. (Sigh... JFK)
 I must say security through JFK was rather exciting. 
 I was traveling with so much stuff that I had to get some things in a carry on. This carry on was really heavy and I was asked to come with a Security TSA Officer. I agreed, what other choice do I have, right? 
  But,  I did not have anything to hide. He opened my carry on really slowly. I was thinking what the heck. "There is been an alert on our screen, That officer over there said you have a bomb" I was like what? I was not too worried... (I had a tea pot though...) He is so slow about t though I was wondering when he was going to be able to let me through. 
  Two minutes later, he pulls out my tea pot and in there are some scarves. He slowly had to take them out which took another minute and a half. He looked at me and said, "A tea pot?" I said, "yeah". He said "An effing Teapot?" I said "yeah" (only he used the F word) He said... You can go. and he turned to his screener person and said "It was a Fracking tea pot" (only he did not say fracking) HAHAHAHAHAHA
 That was so funny.

 Sadly: There is a block on the internet for some reason I can not post pictures... Pictures will come :/