Zindagi Gulzar Hai (Pakistani TV Series)

I watched this T.V. series from Pakistan, called Zindagi Gulzar Hai. In English, this means "Life Is Fruitful" or Life is Wonderful. 

Girl and Boy goes to University, Girl is studious and smart, hard working and from a mixed family (father is a cheating S.O.B. mother works super hard, father's live in girlfriend is a total brat... You know the "typical" family?) And so girl has lots of Daddy issues. (Of course). Whilst Boy grew up in a two parent home, Daddy bought him his way into college, and girl and boy meet. Years later, boy and girl happen to work at the same place, and have gotten to spend more time together. Boy asks girl to marry through a mutual family friend. 
There's a couple of things I find sort of interesting in this story that seems to be a tone in Soap Operas. There is always someone that wants to break up the happy couple, (I hate watching Soap Opera's because of this) and It seems like the girls in this TV who are trying to be strong and who are rebuked wear Westernized clothing. Why? Is there something about wearing Westernized clothing that make the girls so wrong? The Boy has a sister who appears to be nonchalant about marriage, is out with her friends all the time, wears western clothing and, she ends up divorcing her husband, because he is too controlling, too conservative. The mother of the boy is very materialistic, and worries more about keeping up appearances than she is about the wellbeing of her daughter,  (this is an Asian issue? I say this because it seems like that when a crisis happens it is, Well, what do I say to the neighbors and friends? attitude. Why can't there be no gossip, which is a very American approach... Just stay out of other people's business... You know, stop gossipping.) 
The boy and girl do end up marrying, and he gets angry at her for something, and she ends up leaving the home, and staying with her mom for a while and then he finds out she is going to have a baby, so he is all, oh please forgive me. 

What is it with these Pakistani men that get angry at their wives, automatically assume the worst of their beautiful brides, sulk around, throw men type tantrums and then realize how stupid they are and ask for forgiveness and boom! Girl goes back to him??? Pakistani women, help me figure this out. Is this for real? I know we are not supposed to use the media to sort out all this cultural stuff. But, I am not intending on going there anytime sooner and I want to know! 
 Some Turkish men are similar, whiney, lack social skills to be self sufficient, yet, rely heavily on their moms, but can be highly emotional and yet really sweet and kind and get angry super fast, I get it. But, I am asking, Pakistani women, please help me understand why you women keep allowing men to be jerk holes and then allowing the men back into your lives. Do you think you can't find anyone better? Because you can. 

It's a good thing there are happy endings in this series. But, i just wonder when I will see real life. I don't think men are this obtuse in Pakistan. I don't think women are treated like second class citizens by all men there. Am I wrong? Am I?  
I will say this Series was more endearing to me than Humsafar. I think because Boy in this is not as harsh as Ashar, and didn't go 4 years or more without talking to wife, for Pete's Sake...

The Walking ... Ummm... What?

I watched the first 3 seasons of the Walking Dead. Maybe... wait... Was it 4 seasons? I last watched it when the main guy was trying to find someone that can help him and his family and the people he's sort of found along the way, find civilization and trying to figure out what has happened to the world, trying to not get eaten or bitten by a Zombie. There were lots of Zombies surrounding them towards the end... Oh wait... I fell asleep... Sorry. Or was the last time I saw this there was another sub- plot of one of main characters friends or brother betraying the small group of friends he already has... Oh wait... I think I gave a spoiler out there. Zzzzzzzzz...
I realized early on there was no plot what-so-ever, and there was just a long long long line of people that the writers want to kill off, and that the main characters are just endlessly wandering around, trying to stay out of trouble, survive, and make money... Borrring. What's next? Zombies falling in love? They have feelings? Oh, that happened. The Walking Dead is another Soap Opera, just add Zombies and, gals, your man will be watching. Unless you have a husband like mine. He and I watched it for a couple of seasons, realized that there was nothing there and moved on... Just like everyone else should.
Yyyawwwnnn...   

Humsafar (Pakistan T.V. Time)

Hello, hello, hello, Dear Readers! I would like to talk about Humsafar tonight. I just finished watching this on U.S.A. Netflix. It is a drama that was produced in 2011. It ran from September 2011- March 2012. 
Humsafar means Companion in Urdu. 
This is a T.V. series that was produced by a female producer who owns her own Channel and the first female producer in all of Asia, to own her own channel and to have her own production company. (This is quite and accomplishment!)
I kept watching Humsafar because I kept hoping there was a happy ending. And there was. But I had a love/ hate relationship with the T.V. series throughout it all. I was frustrated in how the heroine was constantly belittled throughout the entire show, I was annoyed that her husband was a jerk hole throughout the entire show, and he didn't stand up to his mother until the very end. I was irritated that poor innocent Khadir had to endure suffering, humiliation, grief, was reproved in public,and all because her husband didn't even bother to stick up for her. That is the biggest grief I have with this. If her husband loved her so much, why wasn't he soft and kind with her from the beginning? Where was his loyalty? Why didn't he trust her from the beginning? 
I also had a problem with the lead mother, Khadir's mother in law. Khadir is married to her first cousin because on her mother's death bed, her mother and uncle decided to marry Khadir to Ashar, her mother's nephew.
Khadir and Ashar married, and Ashar had a best friend named Sarah who was extremely jealous, and wanted to marry Ashar and have him for herself. 
What I could not gather was why they painted Sarah out to be so bad? Was it her western clothing? Her obsession over Ashar? Her lack of propriety  in social and workplace settings, and often at home, when she was unable to grasp that her childhood friend was in a marriage? Why did the producers even "go there"? And why did Sarah's mother coddle her so much, making her unable to deal with the fact that Ashar had told her several times he did not love her "in that way, only as friends"...
One tends to wonder about so many things... 
The other thing that bothered me was how rude Ashar's mother was towards Khadir. She was awful the entire T.V. show. This woman was not only cruel, but, just a total bitch. Is this how Pakistani producers of a huge Television series wants to portray the Pakistani elite? As attention whores, with no sense of dignity, who hate the social lower classes, and are out to get into their son's marriages, and destroy their grand-daughters life's? I don't get that. Then at the end, the mother of Ashar ends up going mental. Why didn't they address that she was completely wacko from the beginning, and also, did the producers think about how grievous mental illnesses are? How did she have schizophrenia just after Ashar told her she lied and was the worst. mom. ever. Ashar was emotionally detached to his wife before she was accused of being with another man, and he didn't try to stop Khadir's fate... Not once did he come to her aide, yet, he was ever so concerned with Sarah and her lack of being able to move past him, why didn't he, upon marrying Khadir, stop all contact with Sarah, tell her to F off, and fire her if he had to to get his point across. Then spend more time with his wife, get to know her, and love the fact she is independent, strong, intelligent,and went with this? But, instead, they had to go with cutting Khadir to the core, stripping her of dignity, and use the fact she comes from a village and lower class than Ashar. (Which is strange because Ashar's father and Khadir's mother are brother and sister... So he had to have come from the same village and upbringing...) Which the last note tends me to think that If a man in Pakistan makes a name for himself, a woman doesn't matter? It this how men treat their women in Pakistan? I highly don't think so. Of course, I am talking about a soap opera. But, this is something in Downton Abbey in the early 1900's in England, social classes and wealth and how the poor is looked upon. Right? Well, sadly, this T.V. series comes from 2011, in Pakistan. So, can we assume that in 100 years from now they will be up to where we are as far as women are concerned? Is this really a T.V. series that addresses social issues, mental health, suicide, and how women are treated in Pakistan's society? I hope not. I think we tend to objectify the poor, the weak in ALL Societies, not just Pakistan's T.V. series, however, they do it in U.S.A. as well. It's always the "woman" that is mentally ill, the woman who does something wrong, the woman who is the bad person. And the man is considered the savior of woman, the redeemer, man is the one who can make everything alright in the end. Or can he? Does he really? 
This is a question we all, in every society must address. Whether we are man or woman, poor or rich... How do we treat each other? How do we judge those around us? Are we right in our judging? Do we feel shame when we are wrong in our assumptions with people that we don't know? 
I wouldn't watch the series again if asked. Not because I didn't think that the acting was not well, because the actors were fabulous. I would not watch it because I had the hardest time watching the people with the social upper hand condemn the lower classes. It was gritty and frustrating. Was this what the producers wanted?   
I am updating this... 
I have done a little researching and Humsafar is the T.V. version of a novel of the same name, written by Farhat Ishitag, a female author who writes novels and plays. In all actuality, I would love to read the book, as she wrote it from the perspective of Ashar, then of Khadir, written in flashback setting, as though the two are remembering what took place in the past, and their daughter Hareem, bringing them back together. Now, I don't know about you, I would have loved to see more like that.  
The written style of flashbacks don't resonate well with Eastern and Asian audiences however, and so probably it is my frustration in Ashar's immaturity and being a petty guy (maybe?) that has me so critical of Ashar. No doubt, Humsafar is a series that will continue to steal the heart of many women world wide.