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I guess as an artist, if I could describe everything I am going through in one color I think I could say very easily that I would be decribed in my "Gray Period". 
Again, today, I had no hunger pains but did eat once, and I have noticed there is nothing enjoyable in my life. 
  So, as I sit here, I think I am in such a period in my life, I think I can easily say, it is my gray, colorless, life. Just, grays. When everything is colorfula nd illuminated, it will be when my husband and I are reunited. 
  Nothing until there can penetrate into my heart. I have minutes in time where something will make me smile or happy, but, I am so done with trying to be happy right now and looking for the silver lining. Somedays, like today, I say, Nope. There is nothing happy, nothing that will make me smile. How can I? The one person in my life I want to share whatever is making me smile is not with me. 
it is as though something cold has rushed into me and on me, like a frozen rod slowly creeping over me, starting from the very tip of my head and slsowly ran to the bottoms of the tips of my toes, and I am cold and hallow. 
I thought I would feel it only a couple weeks and I thought, I won't feel like that again. Oh thou little fool! It is not just when I am going through a couple of weeks ago, however, again, today and I can't get rid of it anylonger. I am not ignoring it. But, my readers, it's is impenetrable sadness. I will not let it stop feeling this way until I have my beloved at my side. It is just not going to happen. I am so done with this. Every where I go, I just feel the same. The grayness, the coldness, and then the impenetrable sadness. Sometimes I think can I cry any more than I have? I think the tears can't come anymore. I have no more water in my body to cry, and then it comes again. Once I drink, my tears come back to me and flow in a steady stream down my face. 
I have accepted these feelings. I see them as mine. There is not one person in the world that knows exactly when I am going through and no one will ever try. And I know that people don't even begin to understand how I feel. I am fine with that too. But, I am also done with people saying tehre is something out there that has all the answers. It is just not true. 

Sorry, guys, Nothing happy about that. 
Cheers. 
Phelange