Turkish Coffee and Fortune Telling

So, I am using blue because it is supposed to be the "trustworthy" color. 
Yesterday I walked all over Çorlu to get out of the house and because there were about 30 women praying in Anneanne's home. Of course I was invited and I have not gone, but I needed to get out of the house anyway. At 3:30 in the afternoon I was supposed to meet A for a cola as it will be one of the last times I will see her before I go to USA for a month. A said that although she knows I am coming back she said she feels really traumatized that I am leaving because she never had a friend like me and she will miss me so much. That was such sweet girl talk, it is nice to have a friend like that. 
   Anyway, back to my story. 
 We had an offer for a long time now to go to A's future mother-in-law's for Turkish coffee and a Fortune Telling in the coffee grinds. Have you heard of it? 
 Now, please know It for me is all in fun and many people do not believe it and many people do. I do not know what to think. I have to tell you of my coffee reading experiences. You be the judge? 
 You can believe whatever you want but I will just let you think after reading my story... 
 So, A and I since we were just having cola, said ok. (I can only be busy for so long, and this little cute Turkish woman has been for months saying that she wanted to read my coffee) 
  First of all, let me give you a little back ground on this tradition. Turkish coffee has been part of the Ottoman Empire Tradition. Turkish Coffee is different from most coffees all over because the grinds are kept in the cup. 
   The coffee is ground like fine powder and usually is from Morrocco, but it is not about where it is from but the grinds being fine. 
    The other thing about Turkish Coffee is the preparation.
 The grinds are usually two teaspoons per one cup of coffee. İt is put into a pot called a çevze. It has a long handle that is placed over the stove, and nowadays you can find an electric one. I have seen it used both ways. I have even made it with milk instead of water, but when making it milk, never place it in the electric çevze. The milk will ruin it, and ruin the coffee too. 
  Anyway, when the water is boiled with the coffee grinds, the grinds become frothy. This is when you take the froth and you put it evenly in the coffee cups, after removing the çevze from the heat. The çevze is then returned to the heat, and reboiled, and the coffee is disbursed into each other the cups. Sugar is added before the boiling process when measuring the coffee grinds in the çevze. You can have it Medium Sugar, no sugar, little sugar. There are other variations to this, also, but this is how Turkish Coffee is made.
  All the coffee grinds sink to the bottom of the cup and the actual coffee, which is unique in flavor because of the method of brewing and the method of the grinding, and once you get to the bottom of the coffee where there are only grind, you do not drink that. 
  Now, onto the Coffee reading. The person traditionally doing the reading offers to read the grinds. After the coffee has been drank, the person drinking the coffee takes the saucer and covers the coffee mug, and swirls the coffee around, then flips over the coffee mug so the mug is upside down. Place the mug handle to the person that is getting the reading (ergo If I am getting read, I will put the mug handle pointing to me). Then, wait. you want all the grinds to go onto the saucer. After a few minutes, about 6-10 minutes, the reader will start reading the inside of the cup from the handle going right to left. Sometimes readers can see things in the past and some things in the future. Traditional readers say they can not read more than 40 days in the future, but I have seen people able to read further. 
  They see shapes sometimes animals, other people, flowers, and can interpret them from the things they see. 
 So, A's Furture mother in law said the following things and I wanted to record them now and compare over this summer to what she said and see what happens... Fun? Yeah... I thought so.. also I wanted this to be proof that I am not making this up... ErgoWhen I post this I do not predate it or post date it... See?? Smart am I... 
  Anyway: Here is what she said (Mind you We have not spoken before and I never said things to A to help this woman out)
  She said She saw me in a Wedding dress (yeah yeah yeah... Of course. )
 She then said she saw one little girl that is very special in my life and is about 12 years old and she said this girl looks just like me, and wants to come to my wedding (Beka???) I said there are a couple very special family members in my life. VERY Dear to me... She said she saw them, but one girl cries for me to come back to USA. (wow!)
  Then she said  a Wedding, not mine, not in Turkey, but I will be going to. (My neice Dani!?!August 6th Wedding Reception)
  She said she saw me with candles in my hand going up stairs and wearing a pretty dress. (I am not buying into that is my Kına because really... I am not doing Kına Night) So, I don't know what that is about
 She then said that I have someone in my family very ill, and it will make me not want to return to Turkey until the person is better.  (hmmmm)
 She said that there are three people in USA waiting me more excitedly than anyone else in my family (Shahira, Connor, Beka?) She said I will spend more time with those three peole more than anyone else and will not want to come back to Turkey because of my missing them. She said they are really special in my life and can see they are very beloved by me. 
She said that she sees SO MANY people in USA that are really excited for my arrival
She said that my dad said to not come back to Turkey but that he will surprise me and come to the airport and she said that he said he will not be in The city that I will land in when I am in USA but she said he will be waiting for me at the air port (Whoooaaaa!!! I never told her or A that I wanted my dad at the airport, and he was not coming to the airport)
  She then said that I am worried about someone dying but that he will not die while I am in Turkey. (my dad? I always worry that I will be here when anyone passes away)
 She then said that Three people will cry while I am in USA that are in Turkey and they will want be back. One person really is scared about me going and not coming back. 
She said that One person loves me so much but he does not tell everything how he feels (I said Zippy only not Zippy his real name... She smiled and said Yes)
  She said that My mom will try to trick me in to staying in USA and she did not want me to come to Turkey but that she will not me to leave. She said there are going to be family members that say they are not coming to my wedding but she said she saw some of my family members at my wedding
 She said that many people keep trying to make it so that zippy and I are not  married and everytime he tries to plan for something for us someone tries to take his plans because they do not want to see him married right now
 She said that he (my guy İ love) keeps trying to surprise me and someone keeps telling him he can't do it or someone keeps breaking his surprise to me. 
She said she saw the surprise and when I asked for her to tell me the surprise, she said she does not want to kill it again but that it is an amazing surprise and she said that Zippy needs me to tell him that "the surprise will happen and to not listen to others"... 
She said that she saw my man and I getting things for our home together and she said that she saw Zippy in USA faster than when we thought. 
  She said she saw something like my boss begging me to come back to work for him. 
 So... 
Lets see what happens this next few wees. 
Last year: I was told to wait for three packages. A few weeks later, I did get three packages! (this was from Zippys mom cousin)

sadly not me, missing camera. but this is what Turkish coffee reading looks like

  I will have to update this in the upcoming weeks... 

Two more things I need to add ::: It is 6 am on Saturday June 25th: 
She said that my parents are planning a surprise in thier home (maybe decorations? Just for me)
 and 
 Something about a dog. She said she saw a dog and wanted to tell me about my dog... But I have been wanting to get one...  
 

Have you heard of Tilia Tea?

I love what Turkish call Ihlamur. It is a flower and a tea. It is known as Tilia, Linden, or Limewood.Tilia is grown all over the world in temperate climates. 
  We have a Tilia tree outside and we were able to harvest some of the flowers today for drying then make tea out of it! 
 I must say, I love the flavor of Tilia tea. 
 The aroma is very remarkable, although I sneeze and cough terribly, the tea is really good and has many medicinal purposes. It helps with high blood pressure, colds, sore throats, the list goes on. In North America using Linden is popular for guitar type instruments, one being the base guitar.They say you can use parts of the roots of the tree, and many Folklore in different cultures call the tree holy. The Slavic's Folklore say that the trees are not only holy but bring good luck and there are many tales of that in Middle Ages all over Europe, and different parts of the world. In Germany there is a tree that was planted for honor of King Henry's Wife and they say it is about 1,000 years old.

    I climbed  to get more blossoms. It was fun. I wanted to get more blossoms, but I had to keep in mind that Anneanne was getting worried with me up in the tree, she kept saying I was going to fall. So, I climbed down the tree... :( So sad.  I then helped Anneanne put the blossoms on her balcony floor, where there is sun to help dry them, but no bugs can get to them because of the glass enclosure, and the smell is wonderful throughout the house! Aahhhh...
 Here are some pictures of the tree. You get the blossom and the little stem and the small leaf that is attached to both, and dry them. Put them in a bag for storing and boil the lot (leaf, blossoms and stem) The color of tea ranges for a light pink to a hearty gold color and you hardly need sugar because of the sweetness of the tea, but some people like a little honey with it. This stuff is great and I encourage anyone that has a Linden Tree to harvest the blossoms: They are 65 lira for a kilo here in Turkey... And my parents and my brother who are all tree fans, never heard of it... It is hugely expensive here in Turkey, a place where tea is not expensive: It is worth looking into. Sadly, as I do not have a camera, you all must wait until next year for the pictures of me, a monkey, dressed in human clothes, but climbing from limb to limb as my ancestors might have done according to Darwin. Not bad exercise though, must say.  

The Linden or Tilia Tree Leaf

 For more 4-1-1, just click :)

This is what it looks like when ready to be harvested. Little clusters of blossoms on stems

These are little berries that too have medicinal purposes. Just the flowers have a better taste.

My friend chose her flowers!!!

My friend, the one that is getting married, I will call her A because Byshe is not a pretty name... A has told me the flowers she wants for her wedding! I am thrilled! 
 Let me post the flowers she wants: 

 Lots of Greens (smart girl! Makes an arrangement look full and can bring down the cost in Turkey.) Sadly, In Turkey the Flowers are a lot more than the Greens, whereas in USA, you can go to a wholesaler and the flowers are cheaper, but the greens are way expensive!

A wants White Lillies. I know in USA they are funeral flowers but I can make them not look funeral-ish and she wants some White Roses too, which will make her flowers really Romantic looking

 Ahhh, timeless and romantic classic white rose. Symbolic of purity and love, such a classic for a wedding bouquet. Here they are highly covet in a wedding bouquet and very very expensive. 4-8 dollars for one short stem. She wants about 10. I am trying to tell her with her tiny hands, and looking at her dress she might want to cut back, because that can be one heavy bouquet for a 5 foot 4 inch and weighing only 105 pounds! But, we will come up with something wonderful.

I talked her into adding a few Stephanotis because here in Turkey they are not 85 dollars for a box of them and the pins brides put in them are not that expensive either, maybe 6 dollars for a box of 18! These beautiful flowers come from the Roman and Greek Empire that are the cousins to the Jasmine Blossom. They are named after their shape: Stephan meaning "crown" and otis meaning "ear". Interesting because in History it is said that Stephanotis were put behind ones ear. There might be because of the beautiful scent it gives, or because of the regal look it has. Either way, I am happy I talked her into using this flower which is in season here in Turkey in October and will add a daintiness to her wedding flowers! I can not wait to get her flowers... Of curse I will post the final touches in the site. Want more tips in wedding flowers or any flowers? I will be happy to help you with what I know, which is not much, but happy to help anyway!!!

Cameras::: I might be somewhat a Shutterbug!

The following is a conformation to missing my camera, reader beware. No cameras were hurt in the process of making this blog:

I want a camera!!! 

 Here is what I have been wanting to take pictures of but have not been able to, because my camera is missing: 

 I totally and completely miss taking pictures of my students. I have tons of them and would have loved to have taken pictures of them for fun ! But now I can not this end of the school year! That would have been awesome... Bummer. 

Gypsy Children working on a boat in Avşa Ada

Just another day at work for some people here

See how  I will miss taking these pics? 

So, I have been doing some window shopping (Although I like real shopping! I hate just looking!)
 Here is one camera I have been enjoying

The Nikon Coolpix L110. This shooter is awesome! Here are some features I like about it
   It takes HDTV Videos (for me going to USA and taking videos will be great way for Snuggle to see what I am doing in the day, I wanted to take a video of me everyday)
3 in screen with anti flare and vivid viewing of the pictures or the videos. 
Sport Continuous Mode: This allows you to shoot rapid pictures, as many as 20 pictures in as fast as 11.1 frame per second. 
Vibration Reduction: This is so you can take pictures that are as vivid as possible. The pictures wilt have a more clear and crisp look to them.
Easy Auto Mode: This will allow you to point and shoot with out worrying about the setting. The camera will automatically do it for you!
Smart Portrait System Exclusive to Nikon : This can in one picture detect smiles of up to 12 different people and will shoot when subjects are smiling and detects faces. This will warn you if in a multi-faced picture one face closed their eyes during a shot... 
Here are the other features for the Nikon Coolpix L110

Nikon Coolpix L110 Other Features

• Macro shooting from as close as 1 cm (0.4 in.)
• 15 scene modes for optimized shooting in various settings
• D-Lighting
• Approx. 43 MB of internal memory
• Powered by commonly available AA-size/R6 batteries

What's in the Box

Nikon Coolpix L110 sold at 250 USD

• FR6/L91 (AA-size) lithium batteries x4
• UC-E6 USB Cable
• EG-CP14 Audio Video Cable
• AN-CP21 Strap
• LC-CP20 Lens Cap
• Coolpix Software Suite CD-ROM  

 Now for the Next wonderful Camera: 
  I have heard now for the last couple months that the Sony Alpha is now the cat's meow... 

Let's see why:

First of all, The sleek look it has. 
Have you seen it?
 It has a modern nostalgia to it which all us women fall madly for. We like something that reminds us of our birthday's long ago and then the feeling that we are looking into a that older type camera but... Modern updates. We love modernization! 

The Alpha Nex 5 k by Sony has interchangeable lenses. We like that!
It is 8 onces, which is rather light weight considering this Mac Daddy. 
It has all the qualities of the DSRL but half the weight and half the size and: half the complexities! Like it? I am loving it so far.  For one, the Sensor is better. The sensor is 13 times the older size. What does this mean to us that do not know much about cameras? We are taking real photographs not snapshots anymore! 
 High continuous shooting, Sweep panorama, Auto Motion and Anti Blur, Three shoot continuous self timer,  right now it s the worlds first and only interchangeable lens that continuous it's HD quality with every lens. No other camera in the world does that !! 
  The lens it's self is the best quality, but this has raised the bar in photography experience. 

The Alpha Nex 5K. Sells for about 650 USD

With raving reviews, this one will certainly start turning heads. So far, this one is my vote. 
But to be fair, I have one more to do.

The Canon EOS Rebel T3i
 weighs 3.5 pounds (for those of you on the metric system that is 1.5 kilos)
The Rebel can shoot very dim light to bright light and the pictures will come out really clear. This is good for all the concerts you will be going to at night and all the fun you can have in Las Vegas with your cousins (I added that part because I have family there, I can see me wanting to take tons of pics at the Blue Man Show)
   The Rebel can take HD Videos at 1920 x 1080 resolution. 
The sensor in this sleek baby is quite remarkable.. Prior to this sensor, many pictures remained dark and when trying to manually expose the light to the image, it made the pictures not clear and vivid. Canon revolutionized those sensors and BAM! Great imagery on low light.  
On HDTV Mode this awesome camera can zoom in to magnify at 3-10xs! 
In addition, this HDTV mode is unique because there are many settings and ways to film, g,v,ng you more options for making your Movies, or Videos, there are three recording sizes. 
Automatic Scene Analysis for Stand out Color, multioptions (yes: That is MY word) for where you are and what you want in your picture, multi filters, even atomsphere options for more vibrant to more softer hues in your pictures. 
This has continuous shooting, up to three frames per second.
Compatible with many memory card sizes, SD, SDHC, SDXC
Also this Canon has a wifi wireless option,face finding and a feature called Eye-Fi.  for wireless transfer options; howwever some parts of the world it may not be available yet. 
Flashes can take pictures as far as 35 feet away (that is 10.66 meters)
Which ever one you chose, remember that it is about the one that is best for you and the one that works for your budget. 
Here is a pic of the Canon: 

Happy Shooting!!!

Can your heart be in many places a the same time?

 I have been so excited to go home and see my family and everyone! So thrilled that Snuggle is so supportive. But, I am so sad at the same time he can not go with me. 
  My heart sometimes feels in many different places at the same time, but not htat it is a bad thing, just, many times I want for Snuggle to see where I have been born, where I have lived, my world. 
 I have fallen in love with the family I live with here in Turkey, but I want for Snuggle to see that the reason why I am this way or that way is of my family and where I am from too. 
  I have such emotions and anticipations about this Summer seeing everyone. There is no doubt going to be fun with my family. But, then, I am going to think of my heart, the man that is my strength, the man that cares for me and loves me and comforts me and the man that I love listening to his voice when I am lonely. As you can see, I am deeply in love with him. 
  How can anyone not love him? I told him, "Please don't find anyone when I am in Utah, but don't be looking either!" 
   I am grateful he understands that I need to see my family. I need to get my clothes (I seriously am packing hardly nothing so that mom or someone will take me to my storage!) I really am thankful for Snuggle. All this time he has been paying my storage. I need to find a moving company or figure out what we are going to do. Are we going to be in Utah in the next couple years? Are we going to stay in Turkey? 
  Our life is weird and unknown and we do not have the answers as to where we will be and what will work for us, but one thing is clear... I have a man that loves me and I love him. 
We have worked so hard this year in improving our relationship, we have grown closer together and have grown to respect love and adore each other. 
  Now, If I can just get on the plane with out Snuggle, I will be fine!

Some Misconceptions About Turkey

As living here in Turkey and an American living in Turkey I wanted to write about some of the misconceptions that people in USA have about Turkey. 
  I hope this helps people understand Turkey better. Please keep in mind I have only been here a year and still have many things to learn about. 
  
   Turkey is in the Middle East. 
  This is a gross falsehood and you should do away with this thought fast! Turkey is not a Middle Eastern Country! Turkey is an East Meets West Country and has the latter part of the Silk Road, ending in Ephesus, but many many cities have been major import cities, like (Constantinople:)Istanbul.The Silk Road spanned all the way to India. This region was very important for it was the Gateway to Europe and the Gateway for Europe to The East and the Far East. Turkey today is still important for this region.  
  Turkey people speak Arabic.
 Wrong! The Turkish people speak Turkish and they do know verses in the Koran and the Prayers from the Koran which are in Arabic. They do, however, share some words that are a little similar to Arabic. For example Selam, Merhaba, etc. 
 Also, another misconception is that Turkish people speak Farsi which is what the Persians (or Iranians) speak. This is also a misconception. People think this because Iran is along the border of Turkey. The words, I am sure vary a bit but I am sure there are only about 2% of the people here in Turkey that probably speak Farsi. 



There are so many terrorists in Turkey::: This is a huge Myth. Why this rumor started I do not know. I can tell you being to Turkey and being to Mexico... I am safer in Turkey walking down the street. At least, I feel safer. As a matter of fact, right now, Mexico is far more dangerous than Turkey. Many people think that the PKK is a beloved "Party" here in Turkey but I know that it is considered a terrorist group here and that The Prime Minister, although his wife is Kurd, they do not participate in anyway in the PKK and are against such activities that the PKK are in. There had been bomb threats from time to time in Istanbul and even some bombs but you can  not blame that on The Republic of Turkey but rather the groups that would do something so terrible to hurt ANY one.


  Another Myth about Turkey is the fact that all women have to wear the head cover. 
 As a matter of fact, it is against the law to wear a head cover in schools, in government buildings. So, women try to wear them in places because they want to. Many women wear the Abyah, like in Saudi Arabia, but this is by choice and many people do not like that women wear it.Snuggles family in fact does not wear them.

  Turkish hate Americans
  This is not true. Turkish are very curious about Americans. Americans get really bad publicity because of the White House and the only way to combat that is for Americans to travel the world and be kind and nice to others so when they talk about Americans, they will say nice things about us. 


Another misconception is that Turkish people are not accepting of others. 
 They are very accepting of other cultures and people. I think the problem is that we have a media that controls what we think and see and they do too! They are very proud of their heritage, and they have a right to be! Just like us Americans love celebrating being American! That is not a bad thing either! There are few countries in the world that can celebrate being free and being a part of their country, and I think that all people should be proud of who or what they are!

Turkey is predominantly Muslim, about 90% are Muslim. Of that 90% about 85% of those Muslims are Sunni and the remainder are "other" Islam Faith. Which brings me to another misconception about Turkey. People say that the laws here are "Sharia" or from Islam. this is a flat out fallacy. Kemal Ataürk, when toppling the Ottoman Empire in 1923 did not want a mixture of Government and Religion. This is why when he came into power, he said it was against the law for the women to wear the hair cover in all Government Buildings. 
 Turkey is a progressive Country and wants to have all the technology they can. They are always seeking better technology. The problem is that to import anything is heavily taxed and so expensive that they are discouraged from importing. 
  People from different regions of Turkey have different cultures and different ideas. People from the Eastern region of Turkey have a tenancy to be more conservative than the people in the Western Region.  Their traditions and culture is shaped by what they believe in their religion, but that is true to Hindus, to Buddhists, and as a matter of fact, I saw a Singh family in the store last week! I was so happy to see that we have in Çorlu a mix of people! I love that Turkey is rich in culture and flavor and they are curious about the world and how we are, just as we are about the Turkish people.
 Turkey is full of people from all over the world and all aspects of life. 
 The Government is trying to help the people in Syria. They have helped the Bulgarians, The Bosnians,they have tried helping many many other surrounding countries in peace talks and had never wanted to go to war with Iraq. They have in the same time, sent troops to Afghanistan, Iraq, and many other areas in the world in the U.N. and Peace Keepers. NATO's Headquarters is in fact in Adana, Turkey and America has an Air force base there as well as a Base outside Ankara. 
Turkey has a long history, Istanbul itself has  an archeological site that was uncovered and research is showing artifacts dating back further than 15,000 BC. 
Many of Ancient beloved prophets that Christians, Jews, and Muslims love have been here in Turkey or lived in Turkey or were born here in Turkey. 
 Before people start saying bad things about any country I beseech them to visit the country and see what the people are like and talk to as man people as you can. Before you believe everything you read in the news, remember that Foxnews and CNN and Bloomberg is here, too, but many bad things are being said about Americans and America. CNN in Germany HATES Americans, and Germans are really Anti American, and so I ask you to look at what other people are saying. 

 Another thing I want to say

I am the only Christian for miles around here and I am still few in numbers for being a Christian in Turkey, because I am L.D.S. I want to say that Muslims are not bad people. I am tired of hearing people in America talk about how violent Muslims are. What about all the shootings that happen in America? Were the Columbine Killer's Family Christian? Does it matter??? The prisons in America are the worlds most over crowded. People in Prison are converting to Islam in a high rate, and they have found that the Muslims in Prison are more calm, more kind, less violent than any other group imprisoned.  I am tired of hearing negative things about both sides. We have enough bad things in the world with out having to say bad things about both Christians, and Muslims. Sadly, we are not that different, yet we fight and hurt each other like one or the other is evil and fighting and hating is the biggest evil. 
  I have found being here love, harmony, kindness, goodness, peaceful surroundings in a hard world, kind people that do not have to trust me or even be good to me. 
  I think if we follow the Golden Rule all over the world, we would find a better way of living. 
I hope my readers will try to rediscover Turkey. I encourage people to come visit me if you know me and I can give you tours set aside for christian interests.  
 IF you are a history buff... Turkey is a must see.
 

I have been craving pie: Can you tell???

Dear Dad
  Happy Father's Day!
 I have been thinking about it and all the years that you have been my dad. I have sure been blessed to have such great parents.
   I remember so many wonderful things about you today.
One that comes to mind today was our after dinner visits. We were the slowest eaters and because of that, so that no one had to wait for us to finish our meal, we would clean up together.
 Dad, I can't remember all the conversations we would have. I remember feeling like wow! We are getting along and talking and this is such a great feeling. The kitchen cleaning seemed like nothing when we were enjoying each others company.
   You and mom always taught me to be a good persona and to always be true to myself and what I was taught. I know that many people are successful and have a lot of money, but I would rather fail in life and keep my honesty and integrity than to have a lot of money and get that way by back stabbing others and being dishonest.
Thanks for all the camp outs we went on... Looking back those were more work for you and mom and required more clean up and a real vacation in a hotel!
 Thanks for all the family outings.
 I still do not know why, but going to American Fork Canyon seemed a LOT Longer ride in the VW Van than it does now.
 Thanks for all the scenic rides we would go on in Provo Canyon.
 Thanks for all the times you forgave me for not C.T.R.- ing
  Do you remember R.T. Dena? (Rude Talk Dena)
I hated hearing that, but thanks anyway!
 Thanks for all the sleep-ness nights: Wait, mom had those, but you supported her, so Thanks!
 Thanks for Christmases that came from your money you worked hard for although, I am sure you were just as surprised as us when you saw what mom got us! :D hehe
 Thank you for all the walks we have had... I bet they have come to miles and miles now, but they were always nice with you.
 I never will forget the time I ran away from home and you chased me and caught up with me. I started screaming for help that I did not know this man and you had to talk this old couple them believing you that I was your step daughter... Thanks for not killing me right them and there. Mom would have never known :)
Thanks for forgiving me for the time I snuck out of the house... One time was all it took. Summer woke up and when I got home I went to my room. I will never forget your face as you rolled over on my bed and said where were you!? I screamed it scared me. But you forgave me and seriously... I never snuck out again.
Thanks for keeping me on the straight and narrow but not in a harsh way. You were not forceful and you were always god to me. You were a real dad to me, and you still are. You and mom molded me shaped me to who I am today, and I still care what you and mom think.
  I love you a lot dad
 Thanks for marrying mom and staying with her inspite of all the difficulties it is to raise children that are not your blood.
But you did it! You and mom did what many people try to do.
 we have had hard times and sad times and good times and happy times and joyful times and fun times and funny times but they are all our family times together and making us a better family and better people.
 You and mom did what is difficult for families that are not "split" but I never see my family as that. I see our family as a one whole pie.
Maybe a couple slices are blackberry, and a slice is cherry and one might be pumpkin and there are a couple pieces that are blueberry, but we are all in one big pie together and we do what we can to make it work for us. I really do not see my family as different than others. But I my siblings were never less to me than siblings and I think that is what is important for me. I like our homemade crazy fun family pie. I love you and mom and I know we are all better people for enjoying our family pie just the way it is and I would not have my family pie any other way!
I can not wait to see you on the 28th...
 I am coming! Get Ready for the time of your life.
(Mom and I can make a pie!)
Xoxoxo
Dena

(Dear Reader: I need to post a pic of my family one day... That would be awesome!)

One of the things I have not been able to fully accomplish

I have always heard of different toilets that are all over the world and I have been fortunate to travel to all regions. I love seeing new places and new things and one of the things that is very important to me is toilets.  I have one kidney. So, I drink a lot of water. drinking a lot of water causes me to pee a lot which is good because that means my kidney is functioning. So, naturally when I am out and about I go to public bathrooms. I try not to though. I really hate public bathrooms honestly. I hate that I am in a cesspool of unknown bacteria. and I hate hate hate blow drying hand dryers. To me they are more dirty than anything. Drying hot air onto my hands just does not cut it and there is going to come a day that they will not work and you will see... I will not say I warned you thusly... 'cause I am sayin' it now. So, you can imagine when I went to Spain and the toilet paper was like crepe paper sometimes. My mom was great. She bought the "expensive" stuff... It was simply stuff that we were more used to. The landlord heard that he Americans did not douche because we were more clean and that was done away with in the 1970's so she brought toilet paper for us.. Which was more like thin cardboard and I even tried bringing back from Spain but my dad said I collected too much stuff and made me throw it out. My adventure to a toilet in Dubai at the cultural center was just hilarious and I will have to blog about it one day. 
  So it brings me to Turkey. I love Turkey so much. I have this man that is so patient with me and one of the things he is so sweet about is the fact that I am not Turkish toilet trained but he adores me anyway! 
   Here is a picture of a Traditional Turkish Toilet

This is not mine but this type is all over Turkey

Now, this is the thing... Some homes have the American toilet, but about 80% of the homes still have this type toilet and I am so grateful! Snuggle's mom and dad remodeled thier home about 2 years ago and installed a new Western Toilet and so down stairs we have two types toilet. However, Snuggles Grandma has this type. I get really super lazy at the end of the day and I go in this toilet so iI donn't have to go down stairs to go pee. I usually sleep with a teeshirt and underwear and I don't want to go down stairs all dressed and come back up stairs. Besides, Anne (Mom in Turkish) forgets to take the key out of the door which locks the door and makes it so that I can not go in with a key anyway. I never want to wake them just so I can go pee. So I have opted this alternative. 
  Mind you, I am so much better at peeing in them than I used to be. I do this: I take off everything from the wait down then put on the toilet slippers: Yes.. You have to wear toilet slippers and not regular shoes or barefooted. Then I put a foot on each side of the toilet and squat. I have to back up a bit because for some reason... My body is weird and just like at camp my pee does one of two things: Shoots straight out or right down my leg. So... I lean back a bit. Normally you should not have to. The water spicket and bucket are for cleaning yourself after and those are on the left side of you but I have to enter the opposite way ... I don't know whay::: Because I am used to backing into an American toilet maybe??? 
  Anyway... 
This is how it is supposed to be done: 
Roll up your pants to the knees. take off your shoes and put on the toilet slippers.
 Stand on the toilet and make sure the spicket of water and bucket is on the left side of you. Squat down and pee. Use the spicket of water and bucket to clean yourself off with and then use toilet paper to dry yourself and throw away the toilet paper in the trash or in the trash container. I never have a problem putting the toilet paper in the toilet, but in some older regions they have problems with the sewge getting backed up... Not in the big cities though. 
Flush the toilet and empty the water bucket in the toilet. 
Then leave the toilet and put your shoes back on. 
 Wash your hands in the sink with a lot of soap.
This does not always work out for me and usully I might have to wait a couple more hours before I can find a tilet that I like when I am in public. 
 You are supposed to pay the attendant and when I go and do not use the toilet I pay less. 
 I hope that I can master this but I am not too worried. 
We will have both in our home.   :D
  I will once we have pictures of our home, give everyone a virtual tour, much to snuggles shagrin!

To my dad

Today being Father's Day I think I will do a tribute to my dad. (trite?Maybe for some of you but... When you are finished reading you will see why he deserves a tribute)
  My dad is amazing and probably the best man on Earth. I am not saying that because I am his daughter. In fact, I am saying that in spite the fact he had adopted me as his daughter. 
 Before I was born, my birth father left my mom and decided to try to claim I was not his. Although I look a lot like him I still have some similarities to my mom. But, he did not want to pay child support for my older sister and me and so he decided to try to say that I was not his. My mom did everything she could to raise us on her own until she found a good man to raise us together with him. 
  My dad is so good to my om and kind and loving. He loves her so much and he is good to us kids. He loves us and wants us to be the best at whatever it is wonderful that we can be. I have fond memories of dad, mom and my family. My dad would take the family on camp outs. My om would come and we would sing songs laugh and talk along the way. Sometimes I go back to those beloved spots and think "That was only 10 miles away? It felt like a longer drive" but, dad had a way of finding the most scenic route. 
  Dad and I were the slowest eaters in the family. So, mom would have us clean the kitchen together. We would talk and share our philosophical views of the world, politics, religion, history, anything! We would clean the kitchen together while we talked. The dishes were done, table cleaned counter cleaned and floor mopped and swept when dad and I talked. ıt never seemed like we were cleaning either. It just seemed like we were enjoying each others company. I have to honest... Sometimes I never cared the topic, but I loved just talking to dad. It was "our time". Dad was always fair and kind to each one of us. Sometimes, he would use his profession to test us, but sometimes it did not work. I remember once he said to me... Psychology works on other peoples kids because it is easier to see from the outside than when you are in it. I always told him when I was an adult he had an aerial map view point of people, and honestly it was his gift. I always felt love in the home and harmony. Dad taught us to be honest in all things and sometimes the world seems unfair and seems like you will never succeed if you are not honest, but honesty is in me and I would rather fail being honest and good and doing right than be successful by being a back stabber and dishonest. 
  Dad's dad was Cyril Lorenzo Jensen. Cyril was a Wyoming Rancher's son. A true cowboy raised in Star Valley Wyoming. Grandpa Jensen and I were really close because during family reunions I would sit and visit with grandpa instead of hanging out with the cousins.There were not   lot of cousins, because they were only 3 of them until I was 12 then more cousins came but, I had twin cousins I loved babysitting now and again! My grandpa always said "Never do anything you don't want on the front cover of a newspaper". And I love that quote to this day. I tell it to everyone. Grandpa was a good dad to my dad and I am grateful that I had the privilege of knowing Grandpa Jensen and honored to be the daughter of a B.Y.U. Professor. Dad and Grandpa Jensen although not my blood, are really my true fathers and I am forever grateful to them for they loved me like I was family. 
Dad, Happy Father's Day! I love you !

Can you imagine

Years ago... sometimes it feels like a life time ago, I would pray for something and it was like everything was written in the clouds. I would not really get everything I want, but I could see the future. I would either dream a dream and see what will happen, or I would read the scriptures and it was like a raod map to where I should go and what I should do. Sometimes I would pray and ask God what should I do and I would dream an angel telling me what I should do and where I should go. Us L.D.S. "people" say the "veil was very thin " for me. 
   One day I was ill. I was living in a really nice home and working tons and had all my children with me. I had my sister's son with me too, whom I love just like my own and we were a happy family, just really I was working so much. 
  I was really ill and needed to not take time off work so I called my dad to come up to my home and give me a Father's Blessing. My dad asked me if there was anything I needed and I said I just have to get better so I can work tomorrow. My dad blessed me and in the blessing he said,"Dena, The Lord loves you so much knows what you want in your heart. However, to make you more beautiful and make you more strong, he has to take one of your gifts away from you, for a time. This means that you will not be able to know what lies ahead for you but you will be able to trust the Lord more. This will only be for a time, but you will see taht you will have to go to the Lord and seek Him more" I thought... What? You mean... I will not be given answers to all my questions like before? HUH? 
   I cried and cried and asked my dad to please do the blessing over. I said a few times, Please, Dad... Please do a do over. My dad hugged me and he said, "Welcome to mortality... You are now a human like everyone else." He hugged me and told me everything was going to be OK. 
  I told a close friend of mine about the blessing ans she said, "I was always jealous of you having that Gift." I simply replied,"You don't have to be anymore." 
  What would happen if I would have known that a year later I would be living in a smaller home, and working for a new company, that paid more but I had to work more? What would have happened if I would have known that at the time my 16 year old would go live with Friends in Az and finish off school there but come see me only on holidays? What would have happened if I would have known the my nephew would never live with me again... Which I can not tell you was a huge trauma for me and my family that he never came to live with us.  Or what if I would have known that a few months later, I would have been asked by my daughter if she would go live in United Arab Emirates with her Father whom is Arab? What would have happened if I saw that I lost my job and because I could not pay off 5,000 Dollars in debts that I would have to file for bankruptcy and it was the most humiliating and a huge trauma for me? Or what would have happened if I saw that my 10 year old son would have wanted to go live with his father for2  years but it has now been 5 years. What would have happened if I knew that I would be living in Turkey away from Jasmyne, who ended up living with her father in California? 
  First let me say something loud and clear. 
 I am not whining about what life is like for me. I am just wondering what would I have done to try to change things as they are now? What would have been my reaction to knowing all that will happen now? 
 I am trying to think would I try to change how things are now? What would happend if I tried to change things but never met Snuggle? 
   I am thinking of how my life is and how my response is too. 
 I have the worlds most amazing kids and I really mean it when I say that. I say that because when I  was working and they were all living with me, They would help each other and stay together. They relied so much on each other. As one by one they moved out of the home to live with thier dad, sometimes not wanting to to but knowing that they needed medical attention (like Jasmyne) or they wanted to but did not want to hurt my feelings (like Shahira) they all have a deep love and loyalty to me and to each other that I have never seen in siblings in my life. They also have a deep loyalty to me too. 
  I hope they know with every once in their bones that I love them. Deeply. I want so much to live in USA and have a good job there that I can support myself and my children. 
  I have wanted this all along. 
 I was thinking the other day if I would get a chance to get a job near Jasmyne's school and she could live with me if she wanted or she could come see me how much that would make her feel like she is not alone. Or if I lived in Utah how awesome that would be if Connor had a choice of living with his dad or me. Or Beka... How wonderful it would be if she would be able to live with me again. If she wanted. If not she could visit me in the Summers with Connor.
 
  I one day when Shahira went to live with her father, received a letter on my counter top. (aside the fact that it was from a woman that had the privilege of speaking to me for only 10 minutes and that she barely knew me can we say Breaking and Entering??) She wrote to me that she felt I was the worst mother in the whole world because I allowed my daughter to live in the Middle East, and that I had my daughter who needed some care from a Doctor that I could not help her with, She took it upon herself to tell me that. 
   I told nothing to her. I just finished working on my house, waited for my daughter to come home from school and then I went to bed that night and cried myself to sleep. When I went to church I never spoke to her. One day she came to me and asked me whet I thought of her letter. I said "I did not know how to say #%&K You B+%&/ in a nice way so I thought I just would not say anything at all" and I turned away and walked out of the chapel. Let me make another clear point. I went right to the Bishop and told him I was sorry I said it in the chapel and that ı was not sorry for saying that to her. I also told a Catholic Priest once and both times I said 10 hail Mary's and prayed the Mormon way and asked god to forgive me for saying that in the Chapel but that I really should get off a little easy because of my honesty in the fact that I am not sorry I said it to her... I was told by the Priest and a Catholic Minister and The Mormon Bishop that I was forgiven. I did meet an Episcopalian that it was just a funny thing I said... But Hey... I am honest about it. I know it was wrong for me to say that in the Chapel. I told my dad he laughed and tried to tell me it was wrong of me to say that in the Church but I said .. You said in the Church... but not on the street. He just laughed.
around those people. they already feel uncomfortable enough because they feel like with all the family getting together, ours stands out the most. My mom is wonderful at making the kids feel comfortable but there are limited people beyond that that they feel welcomed in their homes and even hardly want to share their lives.   I doubt many people know how proud I am of my kids.  I think many people are even agnostic about my being a mother and even go to great lengths to avoid me. 
   But My point to all of this is do we try to change fate? 
  Would I have tried to change fate to be with my kids longer?
 None of us have a crystal ball, and can see what will happen all the time. 
  What have I learned? 
   I am not as judgmental. I am more kind, I am more compassionate to those around me. I seek God's comfort more than I have in my life time, ever.  
 I am more empathetic to those I see, and I know that my kids have a deep love for me. 
My kids know how much I want to live in USA with them and they know how much I hate being away from them. My kids are loyal to me and we are a different family because we have miles in between us but we have a lot of love. 
  We are trying to over come a lot being here, and My children have a full knowledge of my love for them. There are times that I have cried myself to sleep and times that I have had just cry days. Snuggle has been through all the good days and bad days and even the days that I thought I was going to emotionally fall apart. He has been there to comfort me and hold me up. He has spent countless hours holding me and telling me how everything will work out. 
 I don't know how things could have worked out ... But would it make a difference? Would my love for my children change? would my love for Snuggle change? And things are the way they are now... Have I become a better person? Has my children ? Has God helped me? 
 Yes. God has. I can say things are bearable. I can go about three days with out crying when I miss my kids. I can talk to them on skype with out crying for 10 minutes. But I do get really teary eyed when I see them. I want to cry, but I want to keep a positive upbeat heart for them. 
  Is it hard? My life over the last few years have been hard. Bad life? No, not at all. 
 I hope there are women that I can help. they can read my blog and see that I am a good mom that has had life happen and things did not work out as I wanted it to but I am doing everything I can to find the right way and the best way. For me, my kids and snuggle. I keep is positive so that I do not cry and so I do not lose hope. That is all I have : Hope. and Faith in God that things will be ok. 
 Today they are.